Sparrow's Song
by The PTB's Red Fox
Summary: One thing is stronger than hope. The second sequel in the 69th verse (if you haven't read 'the 69th Annual Hunger Games' and 'Roads Home' you WILL be lost) Disclaimer: I don't own the literary rights to the Hunger Games they belong to Suzanne Collins
1. Prologue: Gone

**Author's Note (warning long note!) :**

Hello my fabulous readers you! This is sequel number two! It was a tough one to get out I had many many starts and stops. Before we dive back into the 69th-verse….

A few words of warning: although Suzanne Collins did talk about the Capitol and district 13 in her books I felt she didn't go deep into depth on them so she gave me a lot of wiggle room. So take this with a bit of salt and realize this is only MY interpretation and not gospel. Also I am a realist and slightly pragmatic, no place is perfect and there will always be an opposition however weak to anything considered 'the norm'…. Also I might have tweeked the 74th games a bit because we don't know how Peeta got in with Cato's lot…and finally (yes I know this has got to be the longest Author's note I have given…) This sequel may seem a bit long and drawn out or maybe a bit dry compared to what I have done previously, there is reason for everything and I want y'all to give it a shot I have done my best. Also there are different POV's…just warning.

With that! Welcome to Wonderland XD

**Chapter 1**

**Prologue: Gone**

**Tracer's POV**

I let Ari head off alone, I know she is younger than me, but only by a year and like me she prefers being alone more, at least lately. Or at least that's what I think, she's a puzzle to me sometimes. She can be the warmest gentlest teen out there, then she looks at you and there is this steel in he gaze. She is made of tougher stuff than she makes herself out to be. When I won I felt completely alone, Oliver had died in my arms just looking at me, his wound bleeding out and him slowly fading. He mouthed 'I love you' just before he died. I never knew and now I never will get the chance to really know him. Then I think of Ariana's games and she had a similar encounter with Maverick Letorch, true they were years apart in age and it was more like siblings. But she watched him die too.

"Hey Track did Ari ever talk to you about Maverick?" I ask

Tracker looks up from the capital paper they have for him, he looks puzzled for a moment, "no…she doesn't like talking about her games, why would she want to talk about the thing that plagues her dreams so much"

I roll my eyes at him, "with Seneca gone and Hellen missing you'd think she'd open up to us" I reply getting a soda from the fridge they have onboard. "We're practically family to her Track"

He sighs and lowers his paper, "look did I tell you about my games? How it was an open war zone with hidden mines and barb wire mazes, and every few hours or so they released wolves to make us run? Or how some of the tributes died getting the razor wire across their throat? No, because I don't want to talk about it. I think it's the same with Ariana. Who wants to remember a place that drove people insane? I mean you saw Jade on the screen at home? And Henry? They had lost their grip on reality in the end, I think she would rather forget then remember. Even if some things were pleasant."

I slouch in a chair sipping on my canned drink, "it's just…" I pause as he raises a brow at me, "she seems more withdrawn have you noticed?"

"more than normal?" He smirks, "what's really bugging you sis? That she might be regretting your win? That seeing Oliver die in your arms brought Maverick back for her? Or that maybe she needs time to herself and you want her to be more like Hellen"

"I don't want her to be more like Hellen, and I don't think she resents my win, or how Oliver died. The katana is proof in that. I just miss the blue eyed girl that enjoyed racing bicycles, or chatting on the cliffside" I bring my feet up in the chair; Ariana can do this very easily being skinny like a reed. "she seems less herself since my tour started, even in twelve she was less chatty and isn't that where Peeta lives?"

Something dawns on Tracker finally, we both know how much she cares for us and for that baker's family in twelve. Something is wrong….its been several hours too.

"Get your coat" he says focused

Perruse floats in and sees us scrambling for our winter gear.

"The train should be ready to go soon don't go wondering off!" she chirps.

"Perry get some winter boots on, Ariana isn't back yet" Tracker barks at her and she is startled.

"I'll check her room" I say quickly, as I throw on my coat, when I get there I feel a hole start in my stomach.

Her stuff is gone, all her drawing supplies, her snakeleather coat, the pictures of all of us. Everthing is gone.

"TRACK!" I yell shocked as I drop to my knees. He runs up to me and sees the things missing too.

"She can't have gotten far" he says, "Trace…come on get up we have to get her!"

I don't know what or who or why now. Its instincts I am going on, but questions still remain….why did she do this? Is she okay? Why didn't she tell us?

Track, Perry, the crew and I head out towards the forest. I think we forgot how fast my friend is when she runs, and with the ground more solid and full of dead leaves and pine needles and since fresh snow is falling in earnest…barely anything to go on.

"We are so behind schedule" Perry tuts as she trips over a root, its been about an hour or two of searching and still no sign of her.

"Hold it!" the conductor says as he places a hand to his ear, "we are ordered to turn around"

"What? Why?!" I ask angrily

"They are sending a recovery team" he says

Recovery team? What does he…no

"No" Tracker says what I am thinking

"She's? She can't!" I say angrily

"I just got word, about a mile up ahead they found a mess of blood" the conductor says, he looks upset, "she's gone, they are looking for her remains, but they say the amount of blood they found…she wouldn't have survived"

"But her body! They must have found it!" I am ready to shake the conductor make him see sense but he shakes his head again

"They will ask the hermits and woodsmen around these parts, those who have fallen off the map after they turned 19…but…they say we have to continue" he looks grim.

They can't be serious!

"Fine we are skipping the rest and heading for the Capitol" I growl although I can feel tears welling up, "I don't want to celebrate when we get there either"

"We didn't think you would" he replies, "come on people…lets finish this"

xxx

I don't sleep, I barely eat. I cry, I throw tantrums. Track is just quiet. Why didn't we see this coming? I start to piece things together, I now realize that my young friend was smarter than all of us.

Her interview when she was making the Capitol into some brutal decadent Rome, Hellen disappearing mysteriously and them returning without her, Seneca getting that job and her saying its not safe in the capital. She had crossed a line, and they were threatening her family. I am sure of it…

They have specials on a day into our ride, I see Peeta's family, they interview the Letorches very briefly and then follow up with a series of interviews with some of the more memorable victors ending with a candlelight remembrance in city center. They zoom in on Finnick and Seneca, I almost throw a chair at the view screen.

When we arrive it's raining, and I can't help but feel its fitting for the mood we are all in.

_The heaven's weep when an angel dies _I think to myself and feel heartbroken, Ariana would laugh at that.

When we get there, few cameras are out due to weather. But there is someone. Wearing a black designer trench coat holding an equally black umbrella. And sporting a ridiculous beard.

Seneca. He looks horrible, probably how we all look right now. I don't hesitate to go over to him. We look at each other for a moment. I saw the special Flickerman did, I saw the candle light remembrance in city center….and now all I see is red…it's their fault!

SLAP! I wallop him so hard across the face tears spring from both our eyes.

The rain pours down on us and I turn and return to the train. I order Perry to call it all off and with the weather she is more than happy to oblige.

I just want to go home.


	2. Breaking News

**Author's Note:** Ok the next couple chapters happen within the prologue. When we get back to Ariana we will be past the prologue (or there about). Got it? Good! Onward!

A Thank You goes to my reviewers! **Arrow, Miri Penn** (new reviewer!), **JB, Amber, **the mysterious** Guest, KL10X, Wild, Mia288 **and** Quinn**

Chapter 2

Breaking News

**Flickerman POV**

Another year of games over and I am back to doing news, still I like to do so in style. That's all capital people care about. Style, some have gone into serious debt to be in fashion.

I actually like doing the news, true I like meeting the tributes and some stand out. I have a picture of each and every one of them in a scrapbook I keep just for them. Each standing with me at the end of each interview. Some of them are neglible, like kids that have given up long before they get to me, others like Enoboria scare me. Then there are the memorable ones for just their spirit, funny enough in recent years most seem to be from district five, Farrow, Ariana and now this past year's winner Tracer. All with such life and love.

I sit in my make-up chair and start on my face, I don't let anyone do my make-up but myself, the dark circles disappear, the crow's feet and worry lines vanish.

My mind is adrift, thinking of the games and the tributes, when there is a hurried knock on my door.

"What is it?" I say as a 'come in' response

Templesmith comes in, my comrade in arms for the games; he looks upset by something he has in his hands.

"Claudius?" I offer him a seat, "what happened?"

"Ariana Crane is dead" he says

I'm glad I'm sitting, that sweet girl! I met her this year too, sixteen and beautiful and smiling and happy, we had talked after Tracer's interview, she was so sweet still forcing herself to call me by my first name.

"How-" I try to ask but my mouth has inexplicably gone bone dry.

"She was off at a way station with her tribute, they say she was in the wooded area alone, no body, but a lot of blood, enough to say she would be dead by now" Claudius slouches into a couch, "god Caesar, she was sixteen"

I put my fingers to my mouth to shush him as I open my drawer and press a hidden button

"Careful what you say" I tell him, "you know we are watched in here"

"Sixteen Caesar didn't you hear me?" Claudius was always the one to be more emotionally attached, he had to tell kids about feasts that ended their lives, it gets to him more than me, "you remember what happened her year? How she watched Maverick die in front of her?"

"Yes Claudius I'm not senile yet" I reply agitated, I press the button again as my partner calms, "how do they want to play this?"

"We are going on a round of interviews, talk to some victors that met her" he pauses, "they are sending one person to twelve because she seemed to go off to a bakery there, another one to two to talk to the Letorches"

"How is the populous taking this?" I ask

"How do you think? Their angel is dead! In the slums there have been riots" he looks agitated, I know I have to calm him down

"We will have to control the masses it seems, have the video managers get some clips we can show, I will get clearance for an hour long remembrance, that's should calm them down some" I sigh.

"You always know what to do don't you Caesar" Claudius calms dramatically as I take charge

"That's what I do" I say giving a smile, as he leaves closing the door behind him I look in the mirror.

That's when I cover my face and cry. I allow myself twenty minutes, my makeup is then touched up and I take out Ariana's photo of her and I in her pure white satin dress. I take it and place it in the back where all those tributes and victors that are gone rest.

This will get messy, I know. Maybe not for the wealthy but the districts will be angry.

Who wouldn't when an angel dies?


	3. Goodbye by Candlelight

**Author's Note: **What's this? A double update? Yes! It's to celebrate the 69th getting past the 100 review mark! I wanna thank each and every one who reviewed there but thanks to the latest ones **RainEpelt** (who kinda reviewed by refusing to review), and **KnottedEnergy** for her reviews (she writes 'Dead By Morning' go check it out!)

Now if Roads get past 200….with proper reviews….XD

**Chapter 3**

**Goodbye by Candle Light**

**Seneca POV**

It's not true! I keep telling myself, but DNA doesn't lie.

The blood was a match, and the signal from her tracker node is dead.

My sister is gone.

When the news broke I was the first to find out. I felt my legs give way, my mouth go dry. I started shaking. I couldn't stop shaking; they even brought me to hospital thinking I was going into seizures when it was just shock.

I remember the last conversation we had; it was before I left for the capital.

She had begged me to stay. Told me not to go. Then when she realized I wasn't going to listen she let me go.

She didn't even visit when they came for Tracer's games.

Was it the capital that killed her? Why would they kill her?

No, they wouldn't have. Victor's that young were rare and they don't kill rarities. Finnick is a prime example.

But she's dead, and they have no explanation for it, no rhyme or reason to why my sixteen year old sister had gone into the woods and is now a dead signal in the capital monitoring lab. What got into her to go wondering alone? Was she really alone?

When I get cleared to go home I head for my apartment not far from the game center. Ariana was right they wanted me for the games. My apartment stares right out toward tribute tower. I close the blinds and pour a drink. I sit in a cushy chair, and look at my surrounding; capital flare and style surround me. Even my clothes are different.

Right now I can't even look at myself in the mirror.

I can hear Ariana chastise me for becoming what we had despised most.

That's when there is a knock on my door.

Darwin comes in, his eyes red. He's heard. I forgot how much time they spent together on the tour and prior to that the days leading up to her games.

"I'm so sorry" he says hugging me, he was the affectionate one. I return the hug stiffly, I feel numb now.

"Farious, Ruby and Jubilee are coming too they just had to think of good reasons to get away" he adds, "we are all here for you"

I get mad, "you weren't there for her though" I snap, I know I shouldn't be blaming anyone, it was probably an accident, or bad luck. But he's a target, just like I am.

"I had no choice" Darwin replies, "it was either become an instructor or I loose my job!"

"You couldn't have left a note, or found her?" I growl back

"It's no ones fault!" he tries to calm me down, which just infuriates me more, I throw my drink at the wall where the glass shatters. Then I slump on the floor crying dejectedly.

That's when the prep team comes in; Jubilee comes over immediately and wraps me in a hug. I grab onto her for dear life.

Not long after them my stylist and confidant Vesta arrives.

"I just got out" she says as she takes over for Jubilee. "Seneca talk to me" she says to me.

"Let him be his sister just died!" Ruby says making tea.

"Look I don't know you four that well, but I know about loosing a loved one" she helps me to my unstable feet and get me to sit down on the couch she motions for Farious to get the glass off the floor.

"She was sixteen" I say finally, "sixteen Vesta, she barely started her life! She never had her first kiss, or boyfriend she was never in love" I start to shake again, my stone façade falling away, "I should have known she was in trouble or something! I failed her!"

Vesta shushes me, "you didn't know Seneca, it didn't look sinister, there are woodmen out north, those who have lived thru the reapings but went off map, or wild animals. It could have been anything" she says.

Darwin goes to the photo of all of us in costume and sits on my other side, he give me the photo. It seems to ground me. We were happy, she was so small back then she was still petite at fifteen when I left but still.

Vesta looks at the picture with me, "they are having a memorial in town center" she says, "want to go?"

After they get me to eat and have copious amounts of tea we all go to a candle shop and buy taper candles. I head there with Ariana's old team and my friend.

I never knew how she touches so many.

The city center is a glow with candle light. Members of the crowd help us out by un-wrapping our candles placing them on holders then lighting them.

When we get to the front Finnick is there. He lives in the capital for a couple months after the games only returning to four in late winter to be mentor. He has a candle to. When he sees me he wraps his other arm over my shoulder.

"How are you holding up?" he asks

I shrug, "barely" I reply. Letting the hot wax hit my hands, I don't even flinch.

XXX

I find out thru Vesta that Tracker and Tracer will arrive in the Capitol earlier than planned, forgoing the rest of the tour. President Snow doesn't argue the fact. That day it's raining heavily. Ariana loved the rain. She would watch it from the bedroom window of the home, even way back before we were orphaned she would wake to the pitter patter and stay up and watch the rain come down. After her games it was one of very few things that would lull her to sleep.

Barely any news crews are out. I can understand. Foul weather doesn't agree with the perms in hair, or some of the skin adornments they all have.

I do go to the train station. I have to! Tracker and Tracer are practically family to me. Our common thread was my little sister but Tracer and I were connected. She didn't understand me leaving but she can't blame me right?

I see her come out; she's in a dark green rain coat, no hood. Her heals still clack on the wet, tiled floor of the station.

She marches to me and stands there. One, two, maybe three minutes of us staring at each other. She looks haggard, like she hasn't slept. Mind after the vigil I haven't slept properly either.

I forgot how deep she could look into my eyes. Her gaze is penetrating and finally I can't take it and flitch, she blames me, and to be honest I don't blame her.

It _is_ my fault. I left.

This thought is only proven right when she slaps me hard across the face.

She is glaring at me but her eyes are filled with tears, and her bottom lip is quaking from sobs she is fighting to keep hidden.

I know my eyes are tear filled, but the slap wasn't that caused it. The pain was all internal.

My sister is gone.

Snuffed out like the candles last night.

**A/N #2:** Poor Seneca…can't win can he…


	4. Be You

**Author's Note: **This chapter was 99% done by The Jumble Book (who wrote A Way With Words), (I added a small paragraph and change a couple words, and the letter) I almost cried when I read it the first time, and it take A LOT to make me cry! I realize, the continuity is a little screwy this happens some time later and the night of respectively but it works and I love it! Thank you JB!

Thanks go to my reviewers! **Amber, HL98, Arrow, KL10X, THG4 **(this should sate your Peeta request :P)**,JB and Wild (aka ThatOneGirlFromCalifornia)**

Chapter 4

Be You

**Peeta POV**

"Peeta, hurry up with those cupcakes," I can hear Rye whispering in my ear. "Before Mother gets here,"

I gulp. _Five cupcakes_, I tell myself. _Just five cupcakes and you're done_.

But I can't. Just the thought of them makes me think of her, that first time over a year ago, or was it less than a year ago? More? I can't remember. But I can remember her. She stood right here next to me.

And now she's gone.

"Peeta, seriously. She'll be here any minute!" Rye is getting anxious now. I know what our Mother will do if she sees these cupcakes undecorated but I can't find the strength to do it. I'll take whatever punishment she decides I deserve tonight, but right at this moment I don't care.

I've spent this morning decorating all kinds of breads and cakes in the bakery and these fifty rose cupcakes have taken the better part of an hour to do, ten different colours varying from white to blue to pink.

To red.

These are the five I can't do, they remind me too much of her. Of Ariana Crane.

I grab my piping bag and grit my teeth against any tears threatening to fall. I remember crying in the bakery once, Mother sent me upstairs and I thought she was doing this out of kindness. That night at dinner I walked into the kitchen only to be told by Mother to get back to my room for wasting time in the bakery. I'd gone to bed with an empty stomach which was only helped the next day by the stale cheese bun Buck saved for me. I was eight back then, crying wasn't allowed then and it definitely isn't allowed now.

In my attempt to concentrate on not crying I lose my usual control on the piping bag, I grip it too tightly, red icing shoots out of the end and covers the cupcake – and a bit of the table - in an untidy mess.

I hear Rye swear and feel him push me out of the way as he tries to salvage the mess in front of him.

I turn and run upstairs, ignoring the fact that my Mother's going to kill me for wasting icing and leaving the bakery without permission. I shut my bedroom door behind me and dive under the covers of my bed. There I find the only thing that's been able to comfort me these last couple days.

I open our notebook, let a small slit of light in through the covers and begin to read.

I read our notes from one to another, fond memories of drawing flooding back, being able to share secrets and confide in someone that I could whole-heartedly trust. Of course I trust my dad and brothers, but sometimes it's easier to offload on someone you don't see every day. Maybe it's because I know they'll have other things to focus on besides me, maybe it's because they're less likely to let something slip to someone I know.

I get to the page I've been reading almost tirelessly since I heard the news. The news that my friend was gone.

A letter written in her handwriting had been placed in the back addressed to Mr P. Mellark, District Twelve. I always found how she addressed me on letters a little odd, maybe it's a District Five thing, or maybe even a Capitol thing because in Twelve letters are given by hand so only first names - or sometimes nothing at all - are put on the front. But hers always have my first initial, surname and District on them.

I think about when I'd first read the letter, before everything went bad. It had been a bit confusing, a big list of things to do, it felt more like the sort of chore list my Mother leaves for me and my brothers than what she would normally write. But some of the stuff, it was a lot more heartfelt than usual, kind of like she had to say it then and there or she wouldn't be able to say it at all. I couldn't help but wonder just how long Ariana was going away for. Months? Years? Was I ever even going to see her again?

It took on a whole new meaning that afternoon. I remember that more than clearly.

We were at school when the dusty old TV we normally just used to broadcast mandatory parts of the Hunger Games came to life on its own. Everyone stared at Caesar Flickerman's solemn looking face. It was weird not seeing him injected with some sort of emotion, he was always laughing, crying or looking shocked during the Games. Even during his regular job of hosting the news there was more emotion on his face than now.

"People of Panem," he says, even looking that somber, his voice is that bit more impressive than any voice I've ever heard giving a speech in our District. "It is with deep sadness and regret that I inform you of the untimely passing of Miss Ariana Crane the Victor of the 69th Hunger Games from District Five. Whilst at a way station in a wooded area between Districts Seven and Six Miss Crane disappeared, blood has been found at the scene, though no body. Upon inspection of the amount, it has been agreed that a person of Miss Crane's size would be dead from the percentage lost. The search for her body was not carried deep into the forest for the protection of investigation staff. That is all that we can report at this time but I think I can speak for the whole of Panem when I say our thoughts are with Miss Crane's family and friends,"

The TV turns off and I only realized we'd been dismissed early when I see everyone else packing up and heading out the door.

I walked home with Rye who was kind enough to hang back from his friends and walk with me, he knew I'd met with Ariana a couple times but he didn't know the full extent of our friendship. Still, he could see the news had hit me.

That night I couldn't keep one line of thought going. I couldn't even manage my emotions. One minute I felt hollow, the next I felt angry at Ariana for going off into the woods by herself, then worried, what if they sent people over here to interview? I didn't want to talk about her even though I probably knew her better than anyone else in the District. I remember wondering if there was anything I could have done to stop this from happening.

There had been a camera crew, just after supper. Pop gave Rye and Buck a glance and I was taken to my room. I could hear a low rumble that was my dad answering questions. I could hear Mother's higher pitch trill; she always wanted to look good to wealthy patrons. We all knew she was faking the smiles. Pop came up later, sent my brothers to dishes duty and held me, said the camera crews were gone and to try and rest.

I had barely slept, instead I just kept thinking about our last meeting. How she had told me she would be going away for a while. She couldn't have meant like this, she was probably going away to live in the Capitol with her brother or something like that. Probably just easing me into the idea that in the Capitol she'd be too busy for some kid from District Twelve. The nicest way she could think of letting me know she couldn't contact me anymore. She was so upset, and I was upset because she was.

And now she was dead. And that's all that's been playing on my mind these last couple of days.

I sigh and re-read it for what must be the twentieth time.

_Dear Peeta,_

_I hope you get to read this, or that I read it with you and we are laughing at how silly we were to act like blithering idiots. But if not let me say a few things._

_**You are a GOOD person Peeta**; I know I said this before. Constantly in our letters to each other but hear me out. Good people are rare, so rare that when they do show up they are usually beaten down and pushed aside. Do not let that happen to yourself okay? Be strong, be true. Be there for your brothers , your dad and your friends, you have no idea how much of a difference it is to have someone like you in their lives._

_I have never met a guy as honest as you. I don't know how you keep it together with a mom that doesn't care for you but it's almost heroic. She cannot touch your heart my friend, I don't think anyone can destroy it._

_**Please talk to Katniss**, I know it's a scary thing and you will probably practice alone in your room way before you get the courage to do this. When it comes to love I am completely inept, I never had a boyfriend, but I know if we hide who we really are from people we care about it doesn't just hurt us but it stops us from growing. Gather that courage I know you have and step up. She will be better for it by knowing someone loves her._

_**I love you**, not in the mushy kissy kissy kinda way that makes you wrinkle your nose in disgust. More like a younger brother I wish I had and would be proud to call family. I had to tell you, all I want is for you and your family to be safe and that's why I had to do what I did. _

_I hope you understand I never in all my life wanted to hurt you. Broken hearts never completely mend (at least not mine), and if this happens to you know it was never my intention. I can't stand the thought of hurting anyone I consider as close as I consider family. _

_I know your family isn't perfect, mine is so ragtag and with the exception of Seneca no one is blood related, but family is more than blood. It's being there for each other and working together and laughing and crying together, even if it's mostly thru paper and pen over half of the time._

_**I am proud of you**, wish I could protect you from all the evils of the world but this is how we learn. Life isn't easy; we are all treading water just keeping our heads above the waves. It's not easy Peeta but it's completely worth it, killing for the sake of killing is a waste, I regret killing Jade and the two boys in my games. They haunt me, but meeting you and your dad and your brothers has helped me drastically. Don't ever change._

_**Please be careful**! Don't take stupid risks like taking tessarea, or volunteering. Stay out of trouble! I don't think I could bear knowing you died in some stupid games because the ones in charge won't learn from history._

_**Do something you love**. Be it drawing or baking or both, life is too short to ignore what few pleasures we have. And as artists our talent can convey so much more than a picture on parchment, or fancy cakes._

_Peeta if I could I would hold onto you for the rest of my life to protect you but to keep you safe and your family safe I must do what I must._

_All my heart is with you my young friend._

_Be safe_

_Be brave_

_Be you_

_Your Friend, _

_Ariana Gwenivere Crane_

There are marks where tears have fallen to the page and smudged some of the ink but I don't add any today, there weren't many to hold back this morning anyway and now it feels like none could come even if I tried.

I hear the door to my room open and I tense, expecting Mother's shouts to begin any time now. But that never comes and besides, I can hear by the footfalls that whoever is in my room is too heavy to be my Mother.

It's not until he lifts the quilt off my head and wraps a slightly awkward arm around my shoulder that I realize it's my dad.

He's never been a man of many words, never one to talk just to fill a silence, only to make a point when necessary. I don't know how he can bare to be that quiet sometimes, but today I welcome it. I just sit with my eyes closed and head against his shoulder. I don't talk for a couple minutes.

"I miss her, Pop," I finally say, my voice is lighter than it's been for a couple days, not by much but it's definitely an improvement from it sounding thick with tears.

He nods and gives my arm a squeeze. I then notice a plate in his other hand, he hands it over to me and I barely hold in a yelp when I see it.

It's one of the red rose cupcakes I couldn't do myself, I can see by the slightly curving tip and uneven roundness that Rye gave these his best shot, but he's better at baking than decorating.

I look up at dad and he's looking down at me with a kind of knowing that no one else in my family can ever show. I can tell he wants me to eat this, I don't know why but I've never known him to be wrong about something. Apart from maybe marrying Mother, but when I told him that years ago he told me that even from the worst decisions good things can come. It had taken me a while to realize he meant me and my brothers. That's the thing about my dad, he won't explain himself, you just have to trust that he knows what he's talking about.

And with this in mind I take a bite, it's good. The sponge is fluffy and the icing is sweet enough without being sickly. I quickly eat the whole thing and realize it's the first time since hearing the news about Ariana that I've actually enjoyed, heck, actually tasted my food.

I smile as the weight of grief I felt lifts just a little bit, I still miss her like crazy but I feel less lost, less hopeless, less alone.

"Don't mourn her passing, son," my Father says. "Celebrate her life,"

And with that he takes the plate from me and leaves the room without as much as a backward glance.

I read the last six words of the letter as I hear the door close.

_Be safe_

_Be brave_

_Be you_

I smile. These are three ways I can celebrate her life.


	5. Cursed

**Author's Note:** This chapter is a collaboration between Cappoquinn's Calling and I. However **major** props go to her for the premise! Thanks Quinn, loved working with you on this!

Thanks go to my reviewers from last chapter: Amber, Wild, KL10X and THG4

Yes I am updating again so soon…reason? I want to start back with Ariana on Sunday and I can't because I have this chapter and one more outside POV chapter before we get back to our young lady victor!

So yeah tonight and tomorrow will have updates! (one shot deal :P )

Chapter 5

Cursed

**Time of the 69th games**

Kayla and Daniel LeTorch had lost their children, one to a horrible accident, and one to the Games that plagued their lives. Maverick, their sweet boy, had never fully forgiven himself for not saving his sister, so when they first saw Ariana Crane called for the games, the same age that his beloved little sister would have been by now, they knew that it was the beginning of the end for their son. Ariana was a beautiful girl, quick and resourceful, and filled with a burning will to survive. When she saved him, out in the arena from dying in the worst way they could think, they couldn't believe what they saw. Not only was she smart but she had a heart of gold.  
They both knew that Maverick would never forgive himself if he couldn't save another girl. So, even though the hurt was unimaginable, they were prepared for the death of their child. Maverick had never truly fit into the role that District 2 had placed upon him, so what surprised others, only inspired a feeling of pride in their hearts. He was and always would be their pride and joy.  
When his body was returned to them, not in casket but in a bronze urn, their hearts cracked a little more. Not just for the loss but knowing they weren't the only one's mourning him.

**Watching and wanting to help  
**

Ariana Crane was smaller in person than she looked during the games. She was small, and broken, haunted by her actions and her past. She stood there, looking out at the crowd, out of place and seemingly more terrified than she had ever been in the arena. There was disbelief in her eyes, confusion and fear. Kayla immediately wished to take her in arm and say she was loved; she would be protected from the world. Her husband; bless him; even tried to find out if they could actually adopt her, she knew then he felt the same. She was unique, when he came home and said they couldn't she knew they had to do something. Anything to convey she had someone other than her brother looking out for her. The photo she picked, the one that rested on their mantel piece, it didn't belong to them anymore, they had pictures of him, and she didn't.

When they met her in person during her tour, they reassured her that it wasn't her fault, and that they didn't blame Maverick's death on her. The relief on her face made little Ari seem younger than ever, she was only 14 and had been forced to kill. She should have never been in these games, these nightmares.

Daniel saw this spark in her, at his son's grave. The guilt was evident, self loathing was an understatement. Explaining to her though seemed to heal something in her, something broken since Maverick died.  
And then she left, the laurels and adulation following her wherever she went. It was to them that she wrote, talking of her duties, talking of her studies…she was ready to do so much, be a doctor even, their little girl. Ready to live, to be free of the oppression that followed those still in the reaping. She was liberated.  
And now this…  
This, this was an atrocity of the highest order.

Murder.

Maverick's death had been a mercy, not a murder, and her staying with him until his end at least allowed them the chance to say goodbye.  
Sweet little Ari's was nothing short of foul play, no body, just enough blood to say beyond doubt she was gone, and she had been alone in the end. No one to reassure her, to comfort her, to say she was going to a better place.

**Be gone!**

Kayla clutched the last letter that she had ever received (ever would) from Ariana, tears streaming down her face. Daniel sat his head in his hand, silent and unmoving, his jaw clenched.  
It seemed as though they were cursed…any child that they came to love was to be taken from them. Their daughter first, then their son, and now, their surrogate daughter?!  
"Why, why, why?!" Kayla finally screamed. It made no sense! She was so young! She was innocent!  
Daniel could only shake his head in bewilderment, his minds eye stuck on the image of a girl with a sweet face, and an even sweeter heart.  
"I don't know, Kay…. I just don't know."

When they received a knock at the door and a television crew was standing there hopeful for a sound bite.

Well it took all of Daniel's restraint not to knock the camera out of the man's arms and smash it.

"A girl is dead" Daniel finally growled out, "and you want a sound bite? Here's a sound bite for you…

She was better than all of us"

And with that he slammed the door in their face and took his wife in arm.


	6. Give No Quarter

**Author's Note : keep in mind **I'm my own worst critic and if someone says something bad in public it REALLY discourages me, and I am NOT joking, I had to talk myself into posting, reminding myself that there are people that like the fic as is. (yes for those who are re-reading I remouved my huge rant...I calmed down some...)

Ok rant over! **Who do I thank? My reviewers!** _Today it's a general thanks because let's face it this is being put up pretty fast so sorry no personalised thank yous this time around...next time for sure people! (plus this as far as my discouragement would allow me to skive off)  
_

Chapter 6

Give no Quarter

**Tracker POV**

As much as I love my sister, nothing makes me more proud than how she handled seeing Seneca in the Capitol.

Yes she hit him good and proper, but that's not why.

That pause, in which their eyes meet both full of pain, both not uttering a word. She didn't need to say anything to him her icy glare was all he needed and when he flinched she let him have it. He shouldn't have flinched, she knows as well as he did who was to blame for this.

She marched back into the train shut her bedroom door and now I can hear her cry.

Part of me breaks with her. I mean I remember two years ago as freshly as I do yesterday.

Ariana had a glow about her, and so brave, I remember reading about ancient battles. One line sticks in my head.

'Give no Quarter' it's fitting for both the Capitol and for Ariana's reaction.

The capital wasn't going to back down and neither was our little live wire (well I say little she was sixteen).

But I still can't understand what happened. Did she kill herself? No, she wouldn't do that. In my mind's eye she never was one for self sacrifice. It wouldn't even compute in her pragmatic mind.

Then what? Ran away and some woodsman half deranged decides to kill her? I saw strangers in all the districts come over and HUG her (well except district four, and one, and Snow wasn't all that happy with her antics I am sure), I don't see her ever getting anything but friendly curiosity. Unless the hermit is completely off his rocker he would have steered her back to us.

And yet, she is dead, body still unrecovered.

I growl to myself in exacerbation.

She is a damned riddle!

I head for my room and plop on my bed. Staring up at the ceiling.

'Why now Ari? What was your plan?' I ask myself and let my hands drift to under my pillow so I can scream a streak of swearwords into it without anyone catching on.

That's when I feel it.

Something under my pillow.

A letter.

I sit up with it in my hand. It's in Ariana's precise small handwriting.

_Tracker,_

_Do not try and find me. After Hellen left and then Seneca leaving too I realized everyone was being targeted. It's my fault this happened I am certain of it now. I know you will argue to this letter that it wasn't my fault but trust me when I say I had a lot of time to think about it._

_I'm sorry if I have upset any of you, especially Trace. She must be pretty upset about what's going on, if anything goes on. Please be there for her since I won't be able to. She needs her brother right now._

_I have left a will in my victor's home under my mattress. Don't be surprised if Seneca refuses the money I got as a victor, just accept it and leave it in my account. Don't worry about it, don't read as much into it._

_I left all my art in my house to Trace, and I also made a scrapbook for the both of you. It's copies of our photographs._

_They won't find me, but hopefully if my ruse works everyone will think I am dead._

_Except you._

_DO NOT LET ANYONE KNOW! Please Tracker for everyone's safety the knowledge of my continued existence must not be known! It's too dangerous! _

_When it is safe I will find you two again I promise. _

_Use the book to the best of your knowledge, try and get a couple wins for Five! Be there for Tracer right now. Also I have left your address with Peeta Mellark, just in case he needs art supplies, please honour my wish that he receives anything he needs Track._

_I hope you two stay safe. Live long happy lives, raise families and thumb your nose at the capital swine. They will not break us!_

_Until we meet again my mentor and friend._

_Your live wire will return._

_Love you both,_

_Ari_

I realize as a tear drops that I had actually cried. She's alive, she is protecting us right now. I re-read the letter to cement it in my mind and then go to the washroom. I disengage the smoke alarm and take out my lighter.

No one will know.

Except me.


	7. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Author's Note: **So? Ready to find out where our girl got off to?

Thanks go out to my reviewers: **Amber, JB, Wild **and **THG4** Thanks guys for the support and pep talks!

**Chapter 7**

**Down the rabbit hole**

**Ari POV**

I barely remember what happened after the hammer fell on that tracking node. My legs had given out and I just remember Dr. Makenzie catching me as I fainted. I don't open my eyes, but I register beeping and I feel something under my nose. I take a deep breath and my mind starts to clear.

Then it all comes flooding back.

The interview, the tour, the attack, Hellen's disappearance, Seneca leaving, Tracer winning. My escape.

I let out a faint moan because its rushing back way to fast for me to piece everything together, and although the oxygen being supplied by the tube under my nose is helping it does nothing for the emotional pain I am in right now.

I finally open my eyes a bit. I am in a white room, it feels like right after my win of the games, and for a very brief moment I wish this had all been a nightmare.

Of course that's not true, and the cynical side of my brain tells me that dreaming won't make it come true.

No one can turn back the clock.

I don't try and sit up my head is spinning just by opening my eyes. I hear voices coming and I close them. Right now I don't want company. They don't say anything as they come in but they have pushed something in with them, something soft, or on wheels because I can only tell it is something by the faint noise of something going over the floor.

Finally I hear Plutarch say…

"She's still unconscious but they said you can stay as long as you want, if you eat and make the effort" he says, "I am sure if she knew you were with us we'll have an easier time getting her to work with us"

There is no response but I feel a hand brush hair from my face. My forehead creases at the contact because it feels familiar, like how Seneca would. But that doesn't add up because he is in the capital. My heart breaks further at that thought, and I feel a tear fall from the corner of my eye. It is brushed away by the stranger, softly, gently.

"I'll leave you for a while I'll be back in a couple hours" Plutarch says to whoever it is.

It's quiet save for the beeping of a heart monitor I am attached to. I take stock on myself by what the stranger does. He or she stopped brushing the hair from my face and wiping the tears away and has gingerly taken my right arm, but it feel distant, right my arm is wrapped in bandage from them getting the tracking device out. Whatever has been done to it since then worries the unknown person, they are extremely gentle touching it so it must be in bad shape. They touch my face and I notice how cool their hand is to my skin and I am usually the cool one. So I must be running a low fever. That would explain why I feel dizzy.

Finally they speak and I must be delirious because whoever is speaking must do really good impressions. The voice is from a ghost.

"I thought I'd never see you again" he says, "I thought I'd died, and when I woke up in this place with people fussin' around me…Ari, I heard what happened, if I could have helped you know I would have right?" he pauses, "I'm glad you met my parents, I heard from Plutarch, and how you put the flowers where I was supposed to be"

I fight the urge to open my eyes, because his voice is so soothing and if I open my eyes and it's not him I am sure I would loose my mind. It's so tempting to give in though to allow myself this one small joy. But I don't react.

"They say you had to fake your death" he says, "that you will be trained to do something, I don't doubt they have the right person" he cups my face with one hand, brushing a thumb across my cheek, "you just have to wake up" he says.

He sits with me, speaking softly even singing softly to me. I don't know how long we are alone, I know a nurse comes in and checks things and leaves.

Finally it gets too much, he touches my face and I lean into his hand. I yearn for comfort especially after what has happened.

"Ariana?" he says, "Ari can you hear me?"

My forehead furrows when he asks that because honestly I don't know how to answer his question.

Yes I could hear him, but he's dead.

"Am I dead?" I finally ask, it the only logical explanation

"No" he says as he touches my face, when I do open my eyes and look over I see him.

Maverick sitting beside my bed.

"I am dead, liar" I close my eyes again, "you died two years ago"

He removes his hand from my cheek. I can tell I upset him, maybe I am dead and to say how logically sound my reasoning is insults these ghosts.

"Ari stay awake" Maverick says, "ok I won't be long just don't pass out or anything" he leaves along with that noise

"_Dr Makenzie to room five Dr Makenzie to room five_" come over an intercom system

"What's going on" I whimper out loud, another coping mechanism that I had later on when Seneca left, since the house was empty except for myself I would talk out problems, it helped me figure things out, though it was mostly outside in open air I would do it.

I keep my eyes close because it's the only logical explanation. My eyes are throwing me off, the rest makes sense, it's probably the fever I have it's making me delusional.

"Ari?" Maverick is back I didn't even hear him come in I was so focused on figuring things out, "Ari open your eyes"

"You're not real" I say keeping my eyes shut, "you can't you died in the hunger games"

He sighs, "I know and if I had this would have made a lot more sense to you I guess" he says, "I am real"

"How?" I turn my face towards him and he strokes my feverish brow, "I'm dreaming or I'm dead, only two explanations"

"Actually there is another explanation" Dr Makenzie says from the doorway, I open my eyes and she can tell I'm not well, "I will ask a nurse for some aspirin and water"

"What's goin' on?" I ask as she comes over to shine a light in my eyes, "how can you and Maverick both be here?"

"We are both alive Ariana" she checks my pulse from my left arm then checks my right arm.

My right is wrapped in tight bandage and a red line runs from the inside of my wrist to just before my elbow.

"I think I'm going to be sick" I whimper and am presented with a bedpan and helped to sit up. What little I had eaten comes up moments later, Makenzie rubs my back and offers a glass of water to me, I take a few sips but refuse anymore. When I calm she continues to explain.

"It's understandable" Makenzie says, "you went thru a lot in a short time"

I finally take in my surroundings fully, the room has a light box on a far wall giving off soft light, the room is also lit by fluorescent lights overhead. The bed has stiff itchy sheets; I have an intravenous line in my left hand giving me fluids. Then I take in Maverick.

He's older, he should be twenty-one now and he has stubble dusting his jaw. He's in a wheelchair. This makes my head spin but since I have nothing left in me nothing comes up.

"I'll contact Plutarch he wanted to know when she woke up" Maverick wheels around and leaves, he sounded defeated

"He was lucky" Makenzie says,"if one of our operatives wasn't on his hover plane he would have been killed when they realized he was still alive"

"So I'm not dead?" I ask

"You very nearly died Ariana you lost a lot of blood when we tried to find that tracking node" Makenzie explains, when I had passed out I went into cardiac arrest, apparently the amount of blood I lost wasn't balanced with what they had been authorized to give me, my blood pressure dropped dangerously low, "luckily Bruno went top speed and we got you here in time to get you stable" she adds

"How is maverick alive, his cannon went off" I feel sick again, remembering that event, "I've gone down the rabbit hole and I'm in Wonderland" I mutter covering my face. I uncover my face as I look up to see Havensbee.

"Actually" Plutarch says from the doorway, "you're in district thirteen"


	8. Why me?

**Author's Note: **Thanks goes out to my reviewers **KL10X, Arrow **and** Wild.**

OK people this is where I use a little poetic license to explain some things. Stay with me m'kay?

Chapter 8

Why me?

What Plutarch just said makes me do a double take…then a triple take…

That's it I _am_ in wonderland.

"District thirteen is like Atlantis" I say annoyed, I'm sick, worn down to nothing and now they want to tell me a bedtime story of the mythical district thirteen, "destroyed and long known to be uninhabitable"

"Told you she'd have trouble believing it" Makenzie sighs, "Ariana you _are_ in district thirteen just underground" she sits to my left

I hold the bridge of my nose, much like dad would when he was trying to explain to Seneca why he couldn't do something and my brother wasn't listening. "this doesn't make any sense"

Plutarch comes and sits on my other side, while Maverick is in front of me.

"Okay I can see it's hard to grasp" he says I offer a dry laugh, "okay really hard to grasp, lets start with something simpler"

"How about why I am here?" I offer

Maverick clears his throat, "actually let's start before that" he offers," because Ari it doesn't start with what you did to escape and you being here, it starts way before that, with your first kill"

"What does that have to do with this?" I ask, I can't help but inject frustration into my voice and it only infuriates me that Maverick has that knowing smirk he had in the games.

"A lot more than you think" he replies

Plutarch takes over, "it started with the first quarter quell actually, when districts had to vote for their tributes" he starts, "the winner of those games pretty much blasted the Capitol saying how it was cruel and a horrible thing to do to kids no matter what their age, of course President Snow didn't much care for what the victor said, it did however spark one young lady into action. Alma Coin. See she was from district two, she knew Snow since she was very young, he was elected thru a very strong campaign when the president at the time had died. He has promised an end to the games then went back on his word as soon as he was elected. She saw how the districts were suffering and thought there had to be another way, a better way," he pauses, "the victor never made it back after their victory tour though, Snow made certain of that. The embers were already glowing though. Coin managed to escape and make her way to the remains of district thirteen hoping she could find something, anything really to get Snow to realize what they were doing is wrong…what she found was the remains of a city and underground a small population just managing to survive. She rallied them and since then they have slowly been building an army. She is a strategist at heart you see, she knows Snow won't listen to the districts, and she knows they are struggling"

"If she knows then how come she hasn't helped?" I ask

"Not enough people, about thirty years ago an epidemic broke out, killed a lot of children and elderly, and practically sterilized the population" Makenzie explains

"What she needed was a new spark, someone who knew what that first quarter quell victor knew, and she waited a long time" Plutarch says, "fast forward forty four years and there is a thirteen year old girl, adorable, charming, highly intelligent"

"Not to mention caring and noble" Maverick adds

Plutarch smiles, "indeed! This girl shows something in all of Coin's life she had not seen in the games. Compassion, love and emotion. Your acts of mercy sparked something in a few districts, because no one in any games would do a mercy kill, or save a dying tribute and nurse them back to health. It's just not done"

Maverick takes that moment to reach out for my hands and takes them in his, he looks at me and I start to realize he doesn't look well either, I was so wound up in 'why me' I hadn't thought about others. He is gaunt, and he looks a bit ashen. I guess I'm no different.

"She and I knew each other very briefly thru a mutual acquaintance, she contacted me and although I have always watched the games she told me to pay attention to you" he chuckles, "I had already, I knew like many you had something the district needed, hope"

"Hope?" I ask

"Hope is stronger than fear, the only thing stronger than hope is love" Plutarch explains, "and we saw that too, when you stayed with a dying tribute until he was declared dead by the game makers, maybe it wasn't amorous love"

I look at Maverick, we both have matching smirks, no it wasn't amorous, it was like Peeta and I, more family than anything.

"But love in any form can sway a nation, Snow knew that" Plutarch continues, "what he didn't know is a flaw in those trackers until it was too late"

"What flaw?" I ask, mine functioned perfectly

"I faked my own death too Ariana" Maverick says, "only not so cleanly as you did" he brushes a thumb over my bandaged arm, "when I fell the tracker node malfunctioned, it caught an arrhythmia I've had since birth, when my heart stopped for a split second combined with the fall it shorted out causing my cannon to go off prematurely, I closed my eyes thinking when I felt cold that that was it I was dying. It was shock in actual fact"

"So why…" I look at him and he answers my question

"Unfortunately I wasn't as neat as you, the fall broke my back, I can't walk" he swallows hard as he sees how it hurt me to know he is hurt, "its okay" he says softly, its just like the games again.

"Yes he was our first part of the puzzle" Plutarch says, "Maverick knew you better than us, being in the arena showed how people really are"

"I was fourteen" I defend myself, I don't know why I am but I feel what they are saying to be something to take offence to.

"You did nothing wrong" Makenzie says, "that's the thing, you were honest and true and cared for people, even when you killed Jade"

"With Maverick with us, since he was thought dead and he had no love lost for the capital we just hope one day we could get you on our side" Plutarch continues to explain, "your interview was just more fuel to the small fire that was being lit, then you did your tour and we knew we had to not just warn you but let you know you weren't alone"

"Plutarch went to district two, he saw how my parents were keeping an eye on you, though that wasn't a problem" Maverick continues, "I knew they would try and adopt you, to honor me and in remembrance of Marie, having failed that they kept in touch I know"

"So with all our cards on the table we just had to wait and hope that one day you would need us as much as we needed you" Plutarch finished

"Yes but you still haven't answered my question" I say finally after the silence and the digesting of the information takes its toll, "why do you need me?" I can feel my head reeling from all the information

"Why dear…to take down the capital of course!" Plutarch says and smiles.


	9. 007 I am not

**Author's Note**: I think this will explain what Ariana thinks of their idea...

thanks go out to my reviewers **JB, Miri Penn, KL10X ,**** Wild **and **HL98**

Chapter 9

007 I am not

Take down the capital?

"I'm just sixteen? How can I take down the capital" I reply, this is getting more ludicrous by the minute, I try and fail at understanding their logic, clearly they have eaten or drank something to mess with their common sense.

"Well we aren't going to send you there right away" Plutarch laughs, "what you will be doing is gathering intel, from the capital"

I look from Plutarch to Makenzie to Maverick. The only person mirroring how I feel is my friend who has more or less come back from the dead. Confused and a bit scared.

"You want me to go into the lions den?" I look at Plutarch

He chuckles, "not right away! Of course not! You need some training up, plus there is some work on creating a pseudo identity for you"

This does not sit well with me and with my head pounding my gut reeling I lay back down.

"We'll let you rest" Makenzie says, "it's a lot to take in"

The good doctor steers Plutarch out who looks to be upset at my reluctance leaving Maverick and I alone.

I lay on my back covering my face with my hands willing my foggy mind to focus.

"Hey" he says touching me as if I would shatter, and to be honest that would be a relief- to just show physically how I feel emotionally, "talk to me"

"I feel I lost my mind" I say, "they want me to be a spy? To infiltrate a place I despise and am horrified by"

"I wish I could understand what you went thru Ari, but I can't" he sighs, "all I can say is you're not alone right now"

We are silent for a while and I finally relax a bit and rest my arm on the pillows as I lay on my side and look at him.

"I had nightmares for the longest time" I say to him, "of you and the others and President Snow threatening my family"

"Your brother?"

"More than him, I made friends, your parents and a family in district twelve, Snow hated me I was almost raped the year after my games"

He reacts much like I would expect, he reaches for my hand and gives it the gentlest of squeezes, "he didn't did he?"

I shake my head, "I slammed my foot into the guy's instep and ran for the bathroom, called Hellen and Tracker- my mentors- they came to get me"

He reaches forward and brushes the hair from my face, then seeing as he was having a hard time rolled closer and put the brakes on his chair.

"I'm so sorry Mav" I whimper, "I never wanted anything like this to happen!"

He shushes me, "Ari I am alive, just..."

"Skinny" I say

"Very observant" he mutters, "I...guess I was a hard patient for them"

"But if I had known" I say

He just chuckles, "if you knew and they knew while I was in the arena they would have forced you to kill me" he touches my face so gently, "I'm here, and I'm fine. You just have to rest and get better"

"Seneca is in the capital" I tell him, now that I have started it's hard to stop, he nods, "and Peeta Mellark he's just a kid Mav, just a boy and he's still in the running for the games, and Tracer lost a boy she could have had a life with in front of her, like you left me, and I knew if I stayed her, Peet, Sen and Tracker would be in trouble and..." I start crying and he looks so concerned, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry "

He hushes me, takes off the brakes of his chair, races to the other side and gently pulls me into his lap. An alarm goes off as the lead to the heart monitor has pulled off. Makenzie comes in with a worried Plutarch.

"What's wrong?" Makenzie says trying to coax an answer from me

"It all caught up with her" Maverick explains, "don't worry I got her"


	10. Tech-No-Savvy

**Author's Note: **Weeeeell some people have the conspiracy bug don't they? You will have to see, until then I won't say much on the subject of if reapings are rigged.**  
**

****This overlaps still a bit from the previous post you'll know when we haven't from the timeline if you guys don't get it let me know k?

Thanks go to my reviewers: **JB, Arrow** (welcome back! no judgy!), **Wild, KL10X,** and **Mia **(no worries)

Chapter 10

Tech-no-savvy

I start to calm down and although my head and heart ache and I would like no more than to lay down and sleep we are interrupted.

As we are sitting and talking a young woman with short blond hair comes in, "you guys should see this" she flips on a television

They show city center in the Capitol, it's a flood of candle light. The caption says **silent remembrance of the fallen angel**

"Ziggy" Plutarch says placing a hand on the young woman shoulder, "meet Ariana"

The lady turns, she wears bifocals perched on her head but I doubt it because of age or poor eyesight, I notice they look a lot like magnifying lenses.

"Ah!" she smiles and comes over taking the hand of my damaged arm in hers, "pleasure to meet you!" she shakes it enthusiastically, I see the bandage gets a bit bloody.

"Ziggy! Gentle!" Dr. Makenzie snaps, "your machine works perfectly but she can't use that arm for at least a couple more days!" she comes over and checks the bandage her forehead creasing with concern.

I slowly get off Maverick's lap despite them both fussing and removing the IV and the canula from under my nose, then Plutarch helps me to the tv, I see Seneca and Finnick. I touch the screen. "turn it off" I say

"But, it's so moving! We should make a recording" Plutarch says

"Already done boss" Ziggy says, she turns off the tv.

Maverick comes over, "you okay?" he asks

"I need to walk" I say softly.

Maverick, Ziggy and Dr. Makenzie lead me around the underground hospital. It's slow going, I'm weak and tired but I know if I lay in bed I might not ever want to move.

"Ziggy is going to help you learn some technology" Makenzie says, "and I've heard you wanted to be a doctor?"

"Wanted being the right tense" I say sadly, "can't do that anymore"

"Oh I think you'll need a pretty good alias" Ziggy says, "everyone trusts a doctor"

"That will be later" the doctor says to Ziggy, "you need to rest and recover"

"Please can I _not_ stay in that hospital room? At least for a couple hours?" I plead

"I can take them to my lab" Ziggy says, "I have to check the recordings"

Dr. Makenzie allows us to go together but just for a few hours. Because of how weakened I am from them getting the tracking node out she wants me under almost constant medical supervision until my arm is safe to use.

"How long have you been here Ms Ziggy?" I ask

"It's Ziggy Ariana, my last name is Watts" Ziggy says, "besides if we are gonna work together you will want to feel comfortable working with your tech spec."

"Tech spec?" Maverick asks

"Technical specialist, gadget gal, y'know…" Ziggy says offhandedly as we round a corner.

We get to her lab, one wall is a mess of television screens, with lights underneath. I can't tell her to shut them off, even if it's the only request I would have.

One shows district two and there seems to be small riots here and there in other districts that are quickly being subdued by peacekeepers. Another shows district twelve and a reporter talking to Harry Mellark. I don't catch what they are saying because I turn my head away.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Ziggy says, "geeze I should remember to put up the blind" she presses a button and a sheet lowers over her screens.

I stare at some bit of electronics that seems to make something, Maverick takes a schematic from under it which reads, '_jamming device_'

"Ah, yes that's gonna be useful" she says, she shows us a mock up of it, it looks like a compact that opens with a series of buttons. "it will block transmitter frequencies, so any bugs in the area are neutralized when its turns on"

"Bugs? Like centipedes and ants?" I ask

"Uh…well no….bugs, it's what we call small transmitters that relay voice or video from a room you want to spy on" she snaps her fingers, "right your guys aren't district three! Sorry! I forget, yeah…no…I mean its not that you're dumb" she apologizes because I am looking thoroughly confused, and Maverick a bit annoyed, "I'm district three but I ran away when I was twenty, I didn't like being part of a nation that was okay with killing kids for entertainment, I was living in the woods off fish when Plutarch found me with Amos"

"Who's Amos?" I sit down feeling dizzy

"Don't worry you'll meet him" she says offering me a glass of water, "sorry about messing your arm" she looks sheepish, "but the doc is really good with this stuff, you'll be back to one hundred and ten percent in no time"

Meverick looks worried, "Ariana are you okay?" when I shake my head, I know if I lie it's just punishing myself, he gets a very somber look, "lets get you back to bed"

We get back to the hospital area as quickly as Maverick can speed down the hallway. I am spent, Dr. Makenzie checks my arm and puts clean dressing and redoes the bandage extra tight. "maybe one more day and we will start getting you stronger" she says, "are you hungry?"

I shake my head; I can't will myself to think of food when I saw the vigil and Harry. I

feel empty again like right after my games.

"I'll get you some broth you should eat something even if it's clear soup" she says.

Maverick stays with me until a nurse tells him he should head to his room to wash and eat as well, he is very reluctant but agrees when the nurse says he can come back right after.

"You listen to Doctor Makenzie okay?" he makes sure I nod before he is guided out.

I realize as he leaves that we weren't the only one in the room, a man is leaning against the far wall. His face is pockmarked like he survived having a nasty case of the measles. He doesn't say anything but stands off from the wall after a few minutes of us staring at each other and leaves.


	11. Confessions of a Ghost

**Author's Note: **Before we get to putting Ariana thru her paces, let's have a brotherly moment with Mav eh? No? too bad! Mwhahaha!

Thanks go to my reviewers as always,** KL10X, HL98, Arrow **and** JB**

**Chapter 11**

**Confessions of a ghost**

I do manage eating the broth but mainly it's due to Makenzie staring me down when I try and push the bowl away with my off hand. When the bowl is empty and she checks my arm one last time to make sure circulations hasn't been compromised she lets me rest.

Maverick comes back a few minutes after I had I finished, he catches me standing at a 'window'. It's just a light box, but it gives off the same kind of light and warmth of sunlight. It's supposed to be soothing, but it's just making my heart ache.

"Miss your family?" he says softly as he comes over

I shrug, I don't know how to explain how I feel right now, instead I ask a question.

"Did I do the right thing?" I ask, "making them believe I am dead?"

He's quiet for a few moments, and sighs, "I don't know, to be honest Ariana if I was in your position I think I would have been too scared to do what you did, its completely unselfish and brave, true they are hurting now, and I know if I was Seneca I wouldn't be able to forget you"

I close my eyes at that remark and ball my hands into fists.

"But I also know if they knew why you did it they couldn't be more proud of how selfless you are…damned crazed and as cunning as a fox, you care more about them then your own safety" he touches my fist, "I think you are being too hard on yourself, like in the arena when you killed Jade outright to save me"

"I was fourteen Mav" I look at him

He nods, "true but you were smarter than all of us, you were surviving thriving even, the rest of us were dying off because we didn't think we needed to know how to survive"

I look back at the light box, its doing absolutely nothing for my mood. I think he knows this.

"Come, let's walk, if you get lightheaded I can drive you back" he says.

The halls of the hospital ward are quiet and damn near empty. It takes a while but Maverick breaks the silence.

"I nearly died when they brought me here, heart attack, worse than yours" he starts, "I was in a traction bed until my injuries healed and then I was in physio for weeks, months on end" he looks at me.

"I don't know how I-" I start but he interrupts

"No its okay just listen" he continues, "you should understand some things. I have a feeling my mom told you about Marie?" when I nod he continues, "well I thought I failed you, they said you were being reckless, doing those things for the districts, having that big festival, I knew something was wrong, I knew you were trying to be the brave one. I also knew you knew exactly what you were doing, maybe not consciously but you and I both know there is something very wrong with a nation that is okay with seeing kids kill each other. I heard thru Plutarch what you were up to, and before you even told me of your attack I had heard that an attempt was made. I didn't know if it succeeded. Until I started hearing about how you were I didn't want to continue, I couldn't walk, I felt useless. Plutarch kept telling me I wasn't, same as the doctors, but when I heard you were almost attacked it made me want to fight back too, when I heard that Plutarch was aiming to recruit you I knew you needed someone so I kept fighting kept with the rehab"

"But not with eating properly" I say

"Have you seen the muck they give us? Right you're still on broth but trust me I would kill for clear broth sometimes" he chuckles, "point is Ari, in you is a fighter and a pragmatist, you know what you did is right…maybe not straight away but deep down you know what you did had to be done or other innocent people would die"

"So why do I feel like a failure" I say, "why am I doubting that I did the right thing?"

"Because we don't want to let go of the people we love" he says, "I blamed myself so fully for Marie dying that I volunteered for the games. I wasn't a true career I didn't do a whole six years of training like Abbleline I was seventeen when I chose the academy, I wanted to die. Then I met you and knew that if I did die at least I wanted to make sure another girl would survive. I left Ren , Jade and Abble when they wouldn't listen to reason. Nearly got into a fight to leave but after pinning Ren to a tree he let me go cursing me for being stupid, I tried to find you. I knew Farrow was somehow looking out for you and when he died I knew you needed maybe not a protector but a friend."

"So you were looking for me?" I ask, he nods, "guess the whole reaction was fake then?"

He chuckles, "no that was real Ari, I thought when you were helping me I was deluding myself, I never thought you'd trust me enough to come to my aid, you didn't know me. So each time you helped by sharing food, or keeping me alive and saving my life just cemented what I had thought."

"What was that?"

"That you are a _good_ person, someone who respects life, and people around them" he replies, "you just have to realize that yourself, and it's a hard lesson to learn, my mom tried with me, when Marie died and I told them I was going career she begged me told me I was a good person that it wasn't my fault but then released me, knowing I meant to go. You taught me I was worth something Ari, and I want to thank you"

I stop, I can feel myself want to cry.

Maverick just takes my hand, "just don't give up on us okay?"

I nod.


	12. Colourless

**Author's Note: **I kinda feel like the day before the launch. Oh who is the scarred man? How will they train our little rebel on the mend? We are almost at montage levels I think, I mean seriously people next chapter I promise we will see some answers. This sets things up a bit….

Thanks go to my reviewers **JB, THG4, ****Arrow **and** KL10X **

Chapter 12

Colourless

Recovery to me goes slow. Although I am allowed to wander to Ziggy's lab I am pretty much stuck in the hospital ward otherwize. It's not as bad as it sounds, Maverick stays with me as long as he can. Though lately he is being called out to the rest of the complex for 'meetings'. When he is here we talk about what happened when we were separated, he talks to me about his rehabilitation, and how he was fitted with a pacemaker very early in his recovery. The frustrations he gets sometimes when he wants to do something on his own but can't. If he's not with me in my room I find his not far from the intensive care ward. It's spooky quiet on his side, barely anyone comes down here unless they have to. There are some residents, people who had lost their family to the pox epidemic that can't cope alone anymore. We tend to keep clear of this area. Mav was there when he first arrived, because he wasn't eating, was terminally depressed and was wasting away. Then Plutarch found him, told him he was needed, that he could do so much. It wasn't until Plutarch had said it was for me that Mav came round.

If Maverick isn't with me and I'm not with Ziggy learning about tech I might use eventually I stay in my hospital room. Dr. Makenzie checks on me and my arm to make sure its healing and won't re-open.

It's a week before I'm released, and the whole week feels like an eternity.

Plutarch comes to get me as the doctor wraps my arm in a light non constricting bandage. He gives me a set of clothes that everyone wears. Bland grey pants and shirt and leather boots.

"I got special clearance since your arm is sensitive" he puts a device on my wrist that looks like a bulky wristwatch, "it will give you your daily schedule"

"My what?" I ask

"Your schedule, it's time to get you trained missy" he says to me, I have a bad feeling I will not like what this means.

He leads me to my room, seven-five-one with doctor Makenzie and leaves me to put my 'civilian' clothes away.

My schedule watch makes a beeping sound and it says **0900 AC local 5-509**.

Doctor Makenzie comes over and looks at it with me, "I will tell Amos to go easy on you" she says, "he should be here soon to pick you up, everyone will pick you up the first time because its kinda daunting the first run of this place"

"Who's Amos?" I ask

"Amos Charring that's his initials there" she taps the **AC** in the coded message, "he's….well you'll either like him, respect him or hate him" she smirks she gives me one last check up and nods to herself. "I want you to take care ok I'll see you later" she smiles.

I realize she is about to leave and I start to feel nervous, Maverick isn't here; he doesn't have a room yet. Everyone I know is out of my immediate reach and its making me worried. I think Makenzie realizes this because she comes over and places her hands on my shoulders.

"You will do fine Ariana, pay attention to what Amos does, and any other instructor this morning okay? I'll meet you for lunch" she gets me to make eye contact, "okay?"

I nod, "okay…I'll try"

She pats my shoulder before she leaves and I am alone in this bleak colourless room. I think the people of district thirteen are colourblind because I feel all colour has been drained from the rooms and hallways. I make to retrieve my pack but remember that Plutarch has taken everything with him when I was swept up into the hover plane. He had said I would get it back but I haven't seen my satchel in just over a week…my stomach twists at this thought. It's the only link I have with my life outside.

'But you gave that up' my cynical conscience reminds me. 'you shouldn't hold onto the past'

'But the past is what made me who I am' I fight it back angrily…I don't hear a rebuttal so that means I have thought correctly.

I wash my face being careful not to get the bandage wet when there is a solid knock on my door.

"Open!" I call

The door opens and a person does come in but they say nothing. I finish drying my face and hands and go into my 'living' quarters.

The pock faced man is standing at my dresser looking at nothing in particular. He turns, his face is a blank of expression…no smile no frown perfectly neutral.

"Miss Crane?" he asks

"Yes you are Mr. Charring" I reply

He gives a quick nod, "follow me" he says and I am led out of my room and to an elevator.


	13. Boot Camp

**Author's Note: **Weeeellll my wonderfully enthusiastic reader guess what?! Roads Home broke the 200 review mark, y'know what that means? AN EXTRA UPDATE! yes you saw it before when The 69th broke 100, now Roads broke 200 so we celebrate *blows party favor*

Yes I know last chapter was kinda dialogue light and not much happened it was a bridge to the beginning of this.

My thanks to those who reviewed last Chapter **KL10X, JB** and **Wren** (aka Wren-and-Jay...welcome to the group m'dear)

An EXTRA BIG thank you also goes to **Wren** for reviewing both the 69th and Roads Home and has now completely caught up with everyone else. She is writing a fanfic too guys called **'Blood of the Innocent'** very interesting read...

and now without further ado...

Chapter 13

Boot Camp

"You know any martial arts?" Charring asks as we board the elevator, when I shake my head he nods "didn't think so" he looks at me, sizing me up "I think our best bet will be to get you into some gym clothing and see what your instinct tell you"

We disembark and head down corridor 5; I now realize that is how rooms are set…my room is actually 7-751 so level 7 and room 751…so I think I can find my next class easily enough after whatever Amos has in store.

We get to an empty gym that has crash mats on the floor. He hands me some loose fitting pants and sweatshirt. I go behind a divider and get changed. When I come back out he is waving around a pole, spinning it, then tosses me one identical in size and weight. Before I can figure why he has swung his to try and hit me in the head. I lift mine to block him and then swing wide to push his rod off mine and try and catch him in the rib cage.

"What was that for?!" I spit

He smiles, "not bad you have good instinct to defend and automatically attack when you can, very good" he swings again and again I block. We go back and force for a while like that, my arms vibrate with every hit. I don't understand him, he doesn't let up. Halfway thru this workout sweat is slipping down my face, much faster than it usually does. I guess I am still a bit weak from what I had done. He sees how it's taking a toll and stops, tossing me a bottle of water.

"Drink" he says almost as an order, "not bad for a first time, but you will have to build your endurance"

"Excuse me but I almost bled to death a week ago" I defend myself

"You can use that excuse for now, but not much longer" he reminds, "for now I will give you a rest but soon we will be working at least five hours a day on your hand to hand, and I don't want to be babying you"

I can feel my anger rise in me, like bile I want to spit at him. But instead I bottle it, when I am back to full strength he will pay for insulting me and saying he is coddling me.

"Besides" he adds, "Boggs needs to show you fire-arms today, he gets you once a week"

Like clockwork my wristwatch alarm goes off **1100 range Boggs Local 8-802**

It takes me a while after I get changed, and I am sure the person that meant to lead me was shocked to know I left without them, but I make it to level 8 and room 802 and find out it's a shooting range where this stout man with short cropped graying hair is standing with some military men in fatigues of grey and white, one or two look to be my age or thereabouts.

"Ah Miss Crane glad to see Amos hasn't broken you in half yet" he smiles genuinely enough.

"Almost" I say as conversation, "I take it you are Mr. Boggs"

The men snicker, "Mr. Boggs?" one says, he has brown hair and green eyes, he looks to be my age maybe a year or two older, "It's Commander Boggs"

"Or just Boggs" Boggs says, "she isn't a soldier she's special-ops Colins" he explains

I feel smug as this Colins boy looks put out, plus I am learning a bit more of what I am here for, special ops sound covert.

"Right I take it you never fired a gun before" he looks at me

"Gun? No, crossbow and atlatl only" I say as he leads me to one of the ranges.

The other men including Colins get to their stations as Boggs shows me the guns in front of me. All handguns. I don't like handguns on principle, peacekeepers have them, I never seen one used but I always feel apprehensive with one being around. He can see my distaste and smirks.

"They are a necessary evil I'm afraid, of course its not like taking someone down with your bare hands but it's a good safety measure to have one in our line of work" he takes up a large one and hands it to me. It's too big for me, and it feel clumsy and awkward., "hmm maybe try the smaller version" he takes it away and point me to pick one up that is identical just smaller in size. An alarm goes off and he motions for me to put on ear muffs that block out sound and yellowed glasses that cut the glare of the lights.

"Okay" I hear in my ear muffs, apparently there is a microphone on him and I can hear him clearly without him yelling, "look down the range"

I look down the range and see dummies at different intervals.

"Watch me" he says and I watch his movements.

He pulls back the top and I can barely hear it as he loads the gun, I copy and he nods.

"Good, now don't jerk your hand, the gun has enough power to throw the bullet just smoothly squeeze the trigger back" he demonstrates and hits the closest target in the chest.

I try to do the same but the recoil pulls my arm with a jerk, it feels all wrong and I completely miss the target. He shakes his head, "it takes practice" he reminds me, I turn away and try and figure this out. I imagine it to be like the crossbow. That threw me a bit with recoil until I steadied myself.

"Let me try again?" I ask he nods and I stand a bit better, my feet slightly apart one in front of the other. Feeling more secure I let off a shot and my hands remain steady, no more trouble with recoil.

I squeeze off four rounds in the middle dummy then two in the furthest when I find I can hit the middle one in the head.

"Cease fire" I hear on an overhead speaker. I feel I could do this a few more times; it definitely makes me feel better after Charring's workout.

Boggs blinks a few times, "good" he moves to take off his ear muffs and glasses and I do likewise.

Colins comes around the corner, "that you commander?" he asks

"No that was Crane" he says calmly taking the revolver from my hands.

I feel my face flush with embarrassment. His green eyes are on me, but all I can think is getting out of here. It's nearly twelve I want to eat and meet up with the doctor when my alarm goes off.

**1200 lunch cafeteria local 6**

"Dismissed" Boggs says and we all file out.

"Crane! Hey Crane wait up!" Colins catches up with me

"What is it private Colins" I ask

"It's 'soldier' not 'private', how did you do that?"

"I'm a quick study" I reply walking faster but he is matching my speed

"A quick study? Lightning quick more like it" he pauses, "look sorry we got off to a bad start, I'm Ken"

"Ariana" I say stiffly

"I know, I saw your games, my mom and I ran from ten this past year when my dad died" he pauses, "we made it here, mom is a nurse"

"Is there anyone that isn't from a different district?" I sigh

"Well yeah Commander Boggs is a native thirteen, and master Charring, there are tons of native but not many kids our age" he explains

"Wonderful" I say cynically I raise the hand of my bandages arm to brush some hair away.

"What's with the mummy look?" he asks

"The mark of a ghost" I reply and head for the cafeteria, this stops him in his tracks and lets me walk away from him.


	14. Circle of Friends

**Author's Note: **Okay! We will see Ken again for those of you who are curious. If you want clues to what will happen there is no harm in pm-ing me questions, I have been doing this with a couple of you, if you don't mind getting spoiled I am willing to answer question :D

Thanks go to my reviewers as per the norm, **KL10X, HL98, Mia **and** JB** (and **Arrow** for chapter 12)

**Also:** I hope all my readers in the New England area of the states and NYC and other Sandy tormented states are safe and warm and dry. I hope you are all OK and hope to hear from you thru pm, review or otherwise. Be safe out there!

**Chapter 14**

**Circle of friends**

Lunch could be synonymous with 'slop' as Maverick eloquently put it. If the capital food is over the top District thirteen has the polar opposite.

I really think these people lack colour receptors because even the food is a shade of grey. Except the mix of garden peas and shredded carrot in the pasta it's the same shade as the walls.

I contemplate this as my feet steer me to the mess hall. I look up and Doctor Makenzie spots me and waves me over, Maverick and Ziggy are with her.

My heart as broken as it has been starts to fit itself together slowly at this, true I might have lost contact with my family but I'm not alone.

I sit down and Maverick smiles at me genuinely.

"You look like you need a rest" Makenzie says, "I thought I had told Amos to take it easy on you"

"He said he took it easy on me" I reply poking at my lunch, "I would kill for an egg right now"

Maverick laughs into his glass of milk, he remembers the arena, "or scale a cliff face for a pair?" he mentions…

It's been just over two years since then and although I never talked about the games with Tracker, Tracer or Sen; Maverick who was there, joking about it and teasing me is actually calming. He can joke about it, he had the roughest time…I actually chuckle and another rare thing happens…I give a shy smile

"Wow I can't believe it" Ziggy looks at me, "you actually can smile" she teases

"She can smile, she just doesn't show it" Plutarch comes and sits with us, "unless it is to her advantage" he slips some of his pasta onto Ziggy's plate who eats it automatically.

He then picks up something I've been yearning for.

My bag, he hands it over the table, but it's lighter…

"You have quite the talent Crane" he says, "I was tempted to post some of those pictures in my room"

I check the contents, "where is my jacket?" I ask, it's missing everything else seems to be there.

"I am having it cleaned, don't worry I told them how to care for it" he says when I look concerned, "besides you won't need it right now"

I take out the copy of my notebook that Peeta and I shared. I can feel my hands tremble a bit.

"What's that?" Maverick says and it snaps me from my thoughts, "you really do have a talent" he smirks taking a sheet and looking at a picture of Gale.

"Peeta drew that" I say

"Cute guy" Ziggy says, "your boyfriend?"

I feel a blush appear, "we never really talked I only met him once two years ago, I gave him a rose in the cemetery"

Maverick raises a brow at this, "you gave him a flower?"

I nod stuffing my mouth full so I can't respond right away. It gives me time to think of a reply that doesn't sound corny or sickening sweet as it was.

"I was leaving flowers for Celena and Archie, I did it with all the tributes and he was coming in with his family, I guess I wanted him to be able to leave something for whoever they were visiting" I pause, "His eyes are charcoal grey, he is my age…just in district twelve…whereas I am…"

"In Never Never Land" Maverick teases

Ziggy sits straighter and stares over my shoulder, "well I don't think you have to worry about a lack of admirers" she says matter-of-factly

"Why?" I groan

Maverick follows Ziggy's line of sight, "looks like some soldiers are eyeing you"

"Just because I bested them in the shooting range" I mutter

Maverick laughs, Ziggy follows suit.

I manage to finish my lunch at the same time as my watch goes off

**1300 medical DR. GM hospital ward**

I smile again, Ziggy whoops for joy at that small motion

"Time to get to work" Dr. Makenzie says to me, "ready?"

I look at my teacher, "you have to ask?"


	15. To Heal

**Author's Note: **Hello all! Yes I do realize these chapters don't have much 'meat' on them, like I said at the beginning of this story its not gonna be the action packed writing of the 69th or roads, it's kinda setting things up for the second half of the story, so my apologies even I read these chapters and know they aren't as rollercoaster-ish as I was writing before. They do however have enough info that you guys start to get an idea as to districts, and capitol people….again sorry! I promise things will pick up *hides*

Thanks go to my reviewers! **JB, Wren, Eaglefly11** (new reviewer! Welcome!), **Mia, Arrow **and **Quinn** (out of solitary :P )

Chapter 15

To heal

Dr. Makenzie and I head out together. She can tell I'm eager.

"Plutarch had told us you wanted to be a doctor, that's how we knew by the by" she says as conversation, "how were your studies coming along?"

"I was going to start my apprenticeship with our doctor in district five…that is until everything came apart" I reply and all my eagerness and energy are sapped away at thinking about what happened

"Good! Well I am a bit tougher than a general doctor, I specialize in emergency medicine and diagnostics, we have others that specialize in other fields" she pauses and finds I have strayed behind, she doubles back, "Ariana…whatever happened…no matter how horrible is part of your history. Don't feel so haunted by it that it discourages you from advancing okay?" She gets me to make eye contact again, I can tell she must be a really good doctor just by how she talks to people, I don't feel like I am being babied.

I nod, "I guess it's something that will take time to get over"

"Keep busy is my trick" she replies, "and I will keep you busy, while you aren't on rounds with me, you will be studying anatomy, physiology and general diagnostics, as well as emergency medicine…have you thought of what you want to focus on?" she asks

It doesn't take me long to answer as I see a guy in a walker being helped by a nurse down the hallway, "physiotherapy" I say quietly.

Her smile brightens because she sees where my eyes had wandered, "we don't get many in need of that here, or in the Capitol but there are enough for a specialist to make a tidy living I guess"

"You lived in the Capitol?" I ask, she doesn't look like someone from the Capitol

She nods, "I worked at St. Augustines Memorial until I vacationed in ten" she replied, "I saw a farmhand get trampled on and they didn't have many capable doctors, I set roots down there, I was thirty, I married tried for a child but it never took, then I was called back….we separated, I think he remarried not long after has a family now"

"So how…." I circle a finger meaning 'how did you get here?'

"Going back to the world of the pampered from a place I knew I was doing a world of good for? I couldn't stomach myself, I took a long sabbatical and search out a new niche, Plutarch knew me since I helped his mother when she had a stroke, told me that he knew where I could go and do some good…hence" she does the circle of her finger to explain, 'here I am'

"I'm sorry you never got to have a family" I reply

She scoffs, "Ziggy and Maverick are almost my surrogate kids" she chuckles, "I do feel lonely once in a blue moon when it's too quiet, but then I remember working in the Capitol and it dissipates"

"Was it really that bad?" I ask

"It was more that the problems I had to deal with were shallower than I care to mention, they didn't understand what really being sick was. Capital people are very pampered, even the ones who work every day, they are in impeccable state of health, but they get food poisoning, or eat too much and get a stomach ache they think they will die" she chuckles, "I don't think I have to remind you what really feeling sick means"

I shake my head, "I had scarlet fever when I was around six years old, and I still remember it"

"Your parents must have had a good bit of money to afford the antibiotics" She says

I shrug at that, I had never asked my parents that, I was too young to care, "I was put in a room of the doctor's office and I couldn't have contact with my family for two weeks" I remember crying for Seneca on my first night alone, "the nurse taking care of me was always wearing a mask and I was treated like I had the plague"

"Well out in the districts it is treated like that" she says as we round into her office, "they had a pox epidemic, much like measles here in district thirteen"

"How did it start?" I ask, this does keep my attention, she shrugs as she gets a few books from her shelf to put in front of me.

"From what they told me, poor hygiene, and some people were already sick from malnourishment, it was a breeding ground just waiting for the wrong thing to come in" she sits on her desk, "sterilized most of their population, and they had a lot of deaths, they got it under relative control by quarantine, but it decimated their population none the less"

"That's why there aren't many kids" I register what Ken told me, a lot of adults no kids…

Makenzie nods, "precisely…right enough history, time for present tasks" she points to the pile of books, "these are your book to study for the next two months, we will go on rounds and then I'll leave you in my office until dinner, you can take these with you and study them in your spare time"

I am itching to take them right away but she hands me a lab coat with 'apprentice' labeled on the pocket.

"Let's see what you know shall we?" she smiles

I return in kind. She takes me around explaining the few residents; most are there for mental problems, due to depression, they just need physical contact. We go thru a first aid refresh after covering CPR, heart attack procedures, stroke, bleeding.

I can tell she is impressed, I surprise myself remembering all those books from four years ago, to practice suturing she gives me a foam pad that has different layers to stitch together, again I am to practice this in my spare time.

The lesson is short and swift; it was just an introduction to what I will be doing with her daily.

I have a feeling I will enjoy my afternoons.


	16. Secrets Withheld

**Author's Note #1 : **Thanks go to my reviewers!** JB, Wren, HL98, Quinn **and** KL10X**

Katie brought up a good question…how come Ariana isn't the mokingjay and Katniss is? I think I'll let you guys ponder it a bit.

Chapter 16

Secrets Withheld

The days tend to blur for the next couple months, the cold season leaves and I know spring is coming in because a lot of the soldiers have their training outside. I don't, I spend my days between hand to hand combat, tech talk with Ziggy, medical studies with Dr Makenzie and once a week I attend weapon training with the soldiers.

It's never the same schedule week to week. Except for Amos in the morning and Dr. Makenzie in the afternoon the rest is scattered here and there when they feel necessary.

If I had to say my least favorite activity it would have to be hand to hand combat.

Master Charring is ruthless; as soon as my arm had no bandage on it he has pushed me harder than I though needed.

Always more.

We graduated from kendo sticks to actual judo, I cannot begin to count each time he has flipped me on my back. He even looks smug as he does it. One day I will flip him and then we'll see when that smirk re-appears. I leave his classes dizzy and sore, and I have bruises from each time I hit the mat a bit too hard.

It's mid spring when I finally best him and pin him to the ground, as I have him grounded I notice in a small pocket on his shirt what looks like a piece of cardboard. I try and not think about it. I see his eye dart to where I am looking too and in that split second he has me pinned his arm across my neck. I'm glaring at him. He smirks and my anger reaches boiling point and I knee him in the groin.

The howl that escapes him is both loud and gratifying. I get up and stand in rediness, I know he won't be down long. I don't think of him as human let alone humane.

I'm not wrong in my assumption he lunges for me and I use his weight to propel him into a padded wall.

"Get over here you little wench!" he snaps

It brings back the attack when I was still with Tracker and Hellen, the fat blubberous man trying to take advantage of me.

Charring heads over to me his face red with anger, excursion I don't know but I know he means to strike me. He is about to raise a hand to hit me when my alarm goes off. I block him and sneer…

"Time's up!" I swing his arm away

The look we give each other is so filled with hatred

"I will find someone to take over your classes" he says, "maybe playing with the soldiers will get that fight out of you"

"Fine I would rather with them than a miserable old man" I snap as I get changed behind the divider.

When I get from behind the divider in my standard issue greys he takes the advantage and slaps me across the face.

I take it, but when he is still glaring at me I wallop him with a fist, he's taller but I still manage to split his lip.

"And that's the _only_ time you will slap me Master Charring" I snarl

I make my way to the cafeteria since today was one of our long sessions. Maverick is there with Ziggy; Dr. Makenzie is not there nor is Plutarch.

"Ari you're face is bruised" Maverick looks concerned; he knows that I get bruised but my face was always untouched.

"We exchanged blows today" I reply poking at the mashed potatoes

"Amos hit you?" Ziggy looks concerned, "that's abnormal"

"He's teaching me hand to hand combat Zigg, I think him hitting me would be normal" Maverick forces my jaw in his line of sight and grimaces

"No I mean he never hits a woman or a girl" she explains, "you must have upset him"

I do a double take getting my head out of Maverick's grasp, "you're siding with him?!" I look annoyed

Ziggy isn't fazed, "no I'm just saying for him to go against his nature you did something that threw him"

"I had him pinned down" I explain, "and I saw something in his breast pocket, and that's when all hell broke loose"

Ziggy only nods to this, "well in any case you'll see him again tomorrow, so I guess the best words of advice I can say is keep your hands up to cover your face"

Maverick isn't saying anything he looks at me worried, "what Mav?" I ask

"Nothing, just you always seem to get into trouble don't you?" he replies

"Trouble tends to find me" I mutter poking at my food, "I don't understand why he hates me, he didn't let up once in my training, like I did something wrong"

"He's always been sour" Ziggy says, "even when I came here he was"

"Who are we talking about?" Makenzie comes finally and sees my face and grimaces, "I'll get an icepack for you while you study later" she starts to eat

"Charring hit her" Maverick says

Makenzie gives me a look I don't quite read, "I'll talk to him" she says

We head off for the hospital when we run into him. Makenzie noses me to head for the elevator system while she grabs Charring by the arm.

"She isn't the one you should be taking it out on" she says, "if you can't get over it Amos I will talk to Coin to get her transferred to someone who will treat her fairly"

Amos wrenches his arm away from her, "you have no right Gene" he says, "you weren't here, you came after it happened, you don't look into eyes that make you remember"

"If it bothers you so much _talk_ to her!" Makenzie hisses, "who knows maybe if you _do_ talk about it you can get over it"

I don't understand what she means until the next day. Charring actually picks me up early he doesn't say anything, not one word even as we enter the gym. I get changed but he remains silent.

I stand ready but he doesn't move. I get frustrated finally and since he won't talk I will.

"What gives?!" I snap, "I'm ready, I will take the hits if that what you want to do, we can throw punches or you can throw me into a wall. It's not like I haven't had the easiest time here so far! It's not like I haven't given up my family and friends outside to do this isn't it? Or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me!" It's unlike me to whine and say I am having a hard time of things, usually I just soldier thru and it picks up, but Charring has pushed me to the absolute limit of my patience. Something I didn't know existed until now.

He doesn't answer immediately, he takes out the piece of card and I realize it's a photograph, "you have her eyes, I know you aren't related to me kid but you and her have the same eyes" he sits on a bench. I know the right thing would be to sit with him, but he slaps me around and now he wants sympathy….

"I thought if I could make you tougher, make you strong and emotionless like I am that you wouldn't have that same look she had. But no matter what I do you will never be cold to people" he looks at me, "no matter how many time someone strikes you down you have fire in you that won't go out"

"Chalk it up to being stubborn" I reply frustrated

"Carrie had it too" he holds out the picture for me and I step and take it from his outstretched hand.

It's a photograph of two young adults and a toddler. The girl has blue eyes like me but her hair is blond.

"I met Carrie in school and we married when we were eighteen, she had Joshua two years later" he says, "we were happy, we lived in thirteen all our life, true we weren't well off and the whole district was struggling to keep afloat but we had each other" he stops, "then Joshua got sick, and Carrie was staying with him while I was out on a hunting detail to try and gather game. I was gone for a week. When I got back with my crew they said we couldn't come back in, that there was an illness that spread thru the compound, we fought our way in but my wife and Joshua; they were put in quarantine. I could only see them thru a pane of glass. I watched as they got sicker. I got sick too but I recovered. They died" he looks at me, "I studied martial arts to distance myself from what happened, so I could move on. Then you come along in your games, and Plutarch wanted you. Coin assigned me to you since I was the best at hand to hand. I didn't want to, I saw Carrie in you and it brought everything back." He goes silent, like it took all his power to explain why he was treating me so rough.

"I'm not your wife" I look back at him, "and I'm not the one that killed them, if that's the reason to make me into your personal punching bag then maybe we should find someone else that doesn't have a vendetta against me"

I get changed back into my uniform and leave before my alarm goes off.

**Author's Note #2:** Ouch! Ariana is not sympathetic right now is she? Then again she isn't having the easiest time, only an hour reprieve between fighting and studying…stressed out much? Things are gonna get interesting soon stay tuned people ;)


	17. Back to Basics

**Author's Note: **Oh what to do, all this angstiness, teenager I tell you! Mwahahaha

Thanks go to my reviewers: **Arrow, Wren, JB, HL98, KL10X,** and **Mia**

Chapter 17

Back to basics

For the next couple days my alarm only tells me of lunch, medical studies and the occasional tech work with Ziggy or military exercises with Boggs. To be honest I was getting tired of icing my shoulders or arms while studying, plus it gives me time to focus on the textbooks.

But at seven in the morning on the fourth day of no hand to hand my alarm goes off **0800 AC local 5-501 **appears again and I scrunch my hands into fists. I guess he still wants to punish me. I head for breakfast prior to this so I can at least get a glass of juice.

Usually I am one of the first to be in the mess hall, the cooks know me by name now and know I don't eat much despite their protocol saying everyone gets their fair share of whatever slop is on the menu. They just give me the bowl of hot cereal and a glass of juice.

I'm not the only one there today; Ken Colins is sitting alone at a table not far from where I take a seat. This early we aren't assigned seats but I always take a seat close to the door to I can make a speedy exit before the crowds heard in like cattle. Unfortunately my solitude and peace are disturbed by this turn of events and I try and not make eye contact.

I think Ken knows I don't want to be bothered by idle chit chat, after his failed attempt at small talk on my first day of firearm training he has kept a safe distance even when I am training with them.

We eat quietly put our plates away in the rack and head for the elevator. Same elevator, I press level five he doesn't reach to pick his floor. Okay we are going to the same level…countless reasons that could be so.

Then we both get off and both wait at 501…my heart sinks. I know what that means.

I have a sparring partner.

"So you are being trained by master Charring too?" Ken asks

"Yep" I say shortly

"Guess we have him together today" he says

Charring gets there and gives me a look that I don't want to read, he looks sad, if he still hasn't gotten around it then I'm not going to help him get over his wife and child.

I get changed first leaving Colins and Charring to small talk.

When Colins goes to get changed Charring decides to explain.

"I can be more objective if I'm not the one exchanging blows with you" he says

"Fine" I say, but he's not done; he looks at me steady there is something in his gaze other than regret, "just …don't go easy on him" he says closely; I raise my eyebrows at this. I thought he would have said something like this to Colins; but the small talk was all about Colins' training with Boggs…

I allow myself a small smirk.

I think I'm going to like hand to hand combat now.

Colins needs a lot of work. I realize now all those blows I took have made me faster with reflexes. I pin Colins three times in the span of fifteen minutes.

"Come on Colins it's just a girl" Charring says playfully, "you pulling punches?"

"Well…" Ken looks flustered

"Don't" I shove him as he is pinned on the floor.

"You asked for it" He gets up and he is fighting in earnest.

I am blocking and throwing as much as Colins is, and I realize he is pretty damn good when he is told not to hold back. It's frustrating how he is blocking my every attack…he manages to grasp my arms and pulls them to cross my chest so we are face to face, he holds them fast, I'm defenseless…breathing fast, sweaty and worn he does the one thing I didn't expect.

He kisses me.

I am so off guard instead of reciprocating as it is my first ever kiss on the lips that I knee him in the groin and rush to get changed as my alarm goes off. I leave him crumpled on the floor.

I can feel my face heat up with a blush that I am sure reaches my ears. I don't know how to react to this. I'm used to being fawned over; heck Maverick has kissed me on the cheek countless times since I arrived here. I love him like I do Seneca and Peeta like family. But this?! I don't know how I should have reacted but maybe kneeing Ken in the groin wasn't the proper reaction. True he had me defenseless having taken my arms and pinned me standing up but…why kiss me?

My mind is so pre-occupied that I don't even react when Ziggy pokes me with her fork.

"Ari what's wrong?" Maverick looks worried he is staring at me like I'm a stranger, "were you at hand-to-hand this morning?" I nod, "did charring upset you?" I shake my head, "what is it?"

Malcolm (one of Kenneth's comrades) comes over, "way to go Crane, he was just showing you how he feels, didn't have to do that" he walks past and I cover my face

"What the hell is that about?!" Maverick means to go and investigate but Makenzie and Plutarch come over laughing

"Well we know you have claws now" Plutarch smiles

"Can someone explain what's upset her?" Maverick is very on edge now; I can't blame him he is like an older brother to me

"Colins is fine" Makenzie touches my shoulder, "I think he knows now to warn you before he kisses you"

Plutarch is laughing and pats my back, "don't feel so bad Ariana, its not as bad as you think"

"Wait wait wait" Maverick comes up beside me, "okay Colins kisses you…why and what happened"

"He kissed me" I say

"Yeah we got that part" Ziggy says

"I kneed him in the groin" I add

"Why?" Maverick winces, "it was a kiss Ariana"

I shake my head

"I was more than a kiss?" he asks

I nod

"Did he grope you…er…handle you roughly I mean? Were you threatened?" he asks his defensiveness coming full circle again

"No...it's not like that, I just…I was never…" I blush again

"You were never kissed like that before" Ziggy gets the answer blurting it out so bluntly I tear up and rush out of the mess hall and running right into Ken.

God this day can't get any worse.


	18. First Kiss Fiasco

**Author's Note: ***giggles maniacally* uh oh Ari! Busted! Let's see how she is doing

Thanks to my reviewers: **Wren, Arrow, JB, HL98, Mia, Quinn **and **KL10X**

Chapter 18

First Kiss Fiasco

I feel like a deer caught I the headlights. I don't know what that means but my dad used it when he caught me doing something I wasn't supposed to do. I think it has to do with being in shock and fear.

I am both.

"Can we talk?" Ken asks his voice a little tight, he is walking a bit bowlegged and I feel I need to let this happen

As we board and head for the hangar I think back to Tracer getting kissed by Oliver and her reaction. I am sure if she wasn't on that chariot we would have had to pick Oliver off the ground. I wish I had had that much restraint but I am instinctual I realize. My instincts tell me to run now though and I am fighting that impulse right now as we disembark.

No one uses the hangar unless they need a hoverplane. So it's vacant.

Maybe he wants to assault me with no one to hear me call for help.

But he doesn't he sits on a chopper floor his legs dangling off the edge.

"Sorry" he says

I blink, okay…this was unexpected

"Shouldn't I be apologizing?" I ask. "I did hit you in the most sensitive part of your body"

He chuckles, "well I think I deserved it, I shouldn't have listened to Malcom in the first place, he said to just get it over with"

"Get what over with?" I ask

He sighs, "I admire you Crane, you are smart and talented, and I think I have a crush on you or something because each time you train with us I manage to screw up, loose focus and end up stepping on someone else's feet"

"Oh" I say sitting on the floor, "well…I…"

"Don't worry I had to say it, if you don't feel the same way its okay, but Malcom thought if I kissed you it would help me get over it" he paused, "I should have just told you but after the first shooting range I lost my nerves and then I get paired with you in hand to hand, and I though I might as well get it over with, I should have warned you or something" he hangs his head and his ears go red.

"I'm sorry…it was just my first" I tell him

"Your first?" he looks up confused, "you never?"

I shake my head, "no…never"

He has a smirk, "wow, I mean" I blush and hang my head feeling embarrassed but he quickly recovers, "no! Not in a bad way! But you know you are cute, and sweet I'm surprise Maverick-"

"No! God no! He's like my older brother!" I say disgusted, "he kisses me on the cheek or hand or on the top of my head! Not like that!"

He hops down he is walking a bit better. "was it that bad?" he sits beside me

I shrug, "I don't have reference to compare it with" I say, "since it was my first ever kiss on the mouth"

He chuckles softly, "can we try it again…just…if you have to hit me, maybe punch me in the jaw…at least then I can still have kids later if ever want them"

I laugh; he actually made me feel better not teasing or anything, so I lean in and place a chaste kiss on his lips. My alarm goes off right after. I hop up and head off, "I gotta go" I chirp and run off leaving a stunned Ken in my wake.

I end up with Makenzie in the elevator she just smirks at me.

"I think you will have to talk to Maverick m'dear" she looks at me, "he's really worried about you"

"Everyone seems to be but me" I mutter, "I feel like such an idiot"

"You're not an idiot Ariana, just sheltered, usually girls have their first kiss by now" she explains

I just groan, I'm an idiot and naïve now.

"Don't worry so, come on we will bury you in work that you won't think about until reflection" Makenzie says.

She wasn't lying; I am so bogged down with studying I don't even notice that my alarm has gone off for supper. I go to find Maverick but he isn't in his room anymore. Apparently they finally assigned him an apartment.

I find him in a room three doors down from mine. He's sorting out his stuff, and I can see the wheelchair is not meant for this small room. The bed is getting in his way.

"Hey stranger" I say and he starts, "sorry I kinda rushed out"

He sighs, "s'ok kiddo" he looks worried and tries to turn around but the damned bed is in his way.

"Here" I say and manage to move the bed against the wall freeing up a load of room so he can move around, "how are you settling in?"

"Well they gave me a room they adapted enough to how I am…I think I'll be alright" he says, he pats the bed and I sit down, "you had me worried, I mean I remember kissing a girl for the first time and she didn't' really kick me in the neathers"

"I'm kinda protective since I was fifteen" I remind him

"Did Colins talk to you yet?" he asks and I nod, "and?"

"He had a crush on me" I reply

"Had…he doesn't anymore?" he asks and I shrug

"I didn't really get clarification" I reply, "I gave him a quick kiss on the lips before heading off for studies in the medical wing. He didn't find me later so I guess that's over with"

He smirks, "good I didn't really want to take the older brother role yet to threaten to pummel him if he broke your heart" he pauses, "I wouldn't mind it but I think you have enough on your plate to add a boyfriend to the mix"

"I never had one" I say softly, ashamed of that fact

"I didn't think you would get one after winning the games Ari, I mean with the Capitol breathin' down your neck and the threats and the attack and everything?" he takes my hands, "next time you get upset about something though can you just tell me instead of running off?"

I nod, "I'm sorry"

He tsks me and kisses my cheek, "its okay" he pauses, "now how about helping me move some more furniture since you seem to know what I need more than I do"


	19. Shooting Gallery

**Author's note: **Well Ken is a nice guy isn't he?

Was talking to a little bird the other day and she asked how come I didn't have other victors reactions at the beginning. I wanted to keep the canon to a minimum since I have a hard time with it. However at the end of this fic I will leave it open. If some of my readers want to do POV that I missed from the beginning of the fic by all means PM me your piece everyone gets full credit by me, as you might notice with the chapters 'Be You' and 'Cursed'

OK with that out of the way thanks go my reviewers : **'guest', Arrow, JB **and** Wren**

Chapter 19

Shooting Gallery

I like and loath my sparring partner. Ever since ground zero (what Maverick and I call the first kiss) Ken has been dodging blows from me and glares from Mav. I think he feels intimidated.

Boggs takes us under wing a bit more now, true I have mastered handguns as quick as any soldier. Now he wants to see how accurate I can get with sniper rifles. It's late spring and we are out past the gate near an open cliff that has a target made of wood and of all things photographs, and news clippings from the Capitol. Whoever President Alma Coin is she wants her soldiers so steeped and anti capitalism that she has gone to the extent of showing it at every opportunity.

Ken and I take rifles as do the other soldiers and we are belly down in the dirt and dust of the forest floor peering thru our scopes.

"I get Snow" I call and I hear jeering and teasing until a picture of the snake eyed fiend gets one between his beedy hazels.

"oo-whee someone doesn't like el-presidente" called Bogan, a short soldier with a big attitude problem

"Let's just say I have a healthy distaste for bullies" I reply

"Alright enough of that" Boggs says, "Crane good shot, try and not let the recoil push you alright"

"How do I do that?" I ask and Ken pulls my leg at the knee I look at him defensively and he raises a hand in surrender

"I think they call this recovery position in first aid, but you can also use it to steady yourself" he explains. I look at how he has raised a leg along the ground and it does steady him as he shoots his rifle.

"Careful Colins remember last time you got too close to little miss ice queen" calls Malcom down the line

"Careful Carrow" Ken calls him by his last name, "you did just notice her aim"

"He's not even worth the round" I mutter to Ken who smirks and stifles a laugh.

Despite him feeling intimidated we have settled into and easy relationship, sometimes he gives me a peck on the cheek when no one is looking, sometimes he hacks my communicator and leaves me a note saying he's bored in theory class while I am trying to study in the medical wing. But we don't get to into things. We both realize a relationship isn't what we need but companionship we do need and in abundance.

I get along relatively fine with the soldiers, they joke with me, some follow me down the mess hall but then continue to their table after. If Maverick doesn't walk me to my room one of them obliges. Usually Ken, sometimes Bogan…never Malcom.

Come summer and we forgo the grey longsleeve shirts for black t-shirts. I think they mean to try and distract the soldiers because mine is skin tight showing the curves that were so cleanly covered by the grey shirt we all wore.

Martial arts is now a group affair and Charring has me sparring with different soldiers each time a new technique is learned, if he sees I am reluctant Ken is used, if I feel more enthusiastic and biting on the bit he give me Malcom to pummel. Lately it has been Malcom, day to day hour to hour.

Mainly because the hunger game reapings are almost here. It's the first games I will not be a part of at all, being 'dead'. Plutarch finds me on reaping day face in a book to try and ignore what I will surely be forced to witness.

"Crane! We're waiting on you" he smiles, "I have to head back to the capital my vacation is almost used up for the year!"

"I ain't watching it" I say wearing the globe around my neck, I had prayed ten time tonight that Peeta would be spared and I fear if I do watch it that I will jinx it.

"You have to!" he says pulling me from my seat, "it won't be so bad"

We watch, I wish I could cover my face, or even better run and hide. I manage to avert my gaze for most of the districts including my home of Five, even if I hear from Ziggy that Tracker and Tracer are wearing black and so is Perusse. I just can't bear looking, but when they get to twelve I can't look away…

There he is, my young friend fourteen years old terrified. I step close to the screen and touch his face. Then it scans to the sixteen year old and there in the myriad of faces is the grey eyed boy. Gale…I stare at the screen holding my lucky charm in my hand sure that the chain is cutting deep.

When Daniel Tory is called I slump into a chair.

"Why are you so wound up with the twelfth district?" Plutarch asks taking his suitcase and coat ready to go

"my family is there" I say

He nods, shrugs and leaves.


	20. Watching

**Author's Note: **Hello all! Yes its games time again in good ol' Panem, for those wanting to keep track this would be the 72nd games. Ari had the 69th, Johanna Mason was 70th and Tracer Kingsly was 71st. That being said we have 2 more games before Peet is back in her circle.

**Second** bit of info this chapter brings something back…a new chapter of Painted Faces! It's being updated at the same time so you guys have double the reading :D

**Now!** Thanks go to my reviewers **Wren, 'Guest', Arrow** and **KL10X**

Chapter 20

Watching

I watch the games and train with increased fervor. I think I have a strong aversion to watching anyone enter an arena filled with horrors and nightmare scenarios where you either kill a living being or die at their hand.

Whoever dreamed of this whole idea was sick and probably mentally disturbed. Not the games this year…but the whole idea of having these games. I notice this year they are brutal but deaths are instantaneous.

I find out a couple days in. Flickerman does a special this year because as much as I hope people moved on they haven't. He is interviewing mentors and his final guest hits me in the gut.

The Gamemaker, is my brother. I don't know who catches me but I am placed in a chair with a glass of water in my hand. I feel sick; violently sick at the idea Seneca is the game maker. Master of death and ruiner of families. He looks ridiculous with the plastered down hair and the carved facial hair. What did they do to my brother?! He doesn't even look like himself. He doesn't hold himself the same anymore either. He's alien, foreign to me.

I now hate the Capitol even more, they stole my brother away. He looks at Flickerman with a calculating look, explaining how people should bet. Who he would bet on, of course he wouldn't say the youngest or liveliest tribute. He picks the careers, says they are superior in training and scores. He doesn't show emotion, he's clinical, sterile. Gone.

"We have to bring up even if it's not for a week or two, Ariana would be-"

"Seventeen in a couple weeks" and that's where I see the first traces of my brother, a flash of pain, a glare of annoyance, he is trying to forget me and each game is probably torture now.

"And yet you wouldn't bet on Stephy Kesington of four? She seems to have the energy of how Ariana was in her games" Flickerman points out

"Ariana was special, and I knew her better than most, not well enough to know she would have died so young though…she had a spark of life and I just don't see it in Stephy" Seneca replies, "you have to be something really special to win so young Caesar, and something that special doesn't come around that often, look at Finnick"

"If you could talk to Ariana now, tell her something anything what would it be?" Caesar asks, "do you think she'd be proud of you?"

Seneca looks at Caesar his face cold and clinical again, "I think we ran out of time" he says gets up and walks off stage. The crowd calls to him but I know why he left.

He can't tell them because truth is I wouldn't be proud of what he has become and he knows it. He would want to say he understands now, he would say he misses me, he would say a lot of things but he wants to distance himself from what he has to do. To survive maybe, or maybe to just save his heart further damage.

For me it's damaging already, my heart for all the repair its has done begins to crack again. I head to my room not long after the interviews are finished.

Maverick find me face in a pillow crying softly, I don't know why exactly I am crying but I know some of it has to do with Seneca and how much he has changed in so few years. I feel I have lost him and there is nothing short of letting him know that can maybe start to fix the damage that was done to him.

"Hey kiddo" he says rolling over; I know that because I recognize the sound of his chair almost as much as I recognize voices now. He puts a hand on the small of my back, "I saw the interviews, are you okay?"

I shake my head.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asks

I slowly sit up and wipe my face, "my brother is gone Mav, for all I've done he's been corrupted"

He shushes me, "not entirely, maybe his style has but I think that's the extent of it, it seemed more planned than anything, the question of you came as a surprise that's probably why he cut it short Ari" he strokes my hair, "he's still your brother under that goofy beard"

"It was goofy wasn't it?" I ask a small smirk playing on my lips

"You should have heard Ziggy laugh seeing it in her control room" he smiles in return, "don't give up kiddo, your brother is still there for you and his proxy"


	21. Seventeen

**Author's Note:** Hello all!...I kinda want to apologize for this next chapter, my mind went dark again, along the lines of that fat man when Ariana was fifteen, only I am attacking her emotionally this time…I BLAME MY MUSE! Again Sorry I will paint a target on my forehead for the next two days so you guys have a good target *winces*

Thanks to my reviewers**: Wren, KL10X, HL98, Quinn **and** Arrow (**oh and** suckmytwit101 **who is getting to this fic sooner or later we will now call him** SMT :P)  
**

Chapter 21

Seventeen

Although I am kept busy throughout the games at night nightmares keep me awake. Even as I work myself to exhaustion my mind warps the interviews and I remember the vigils and the Mellark and LeTorch interviews. It gets so bad I had bring it up with Makenzie in hope she would have some chemical solution but she hands me a small notebook, she has several though I have a feeling she keeps them for private use.

"I want you to keep a journal of these nightmares" she says, "after rounds we'll take time to deconstruct them so they aren't as terrifying"

"I used to draw but I haven't wanted to sketch in a while" I say as I dawn my labcoat, "that and I don't think I could bear incinerating a picture of Mr. Mellark."

"Sometimes nightmares and dreams are just our brain sorting out days events" she explains, "its only when they disrupt your well being that they should be dealt with more aggressively with sleeping pills, people becomes too dependent and if they overdose they can easily kill themselves if they don't get to the emergency soon"

"What do you do when that happens?" I ask as we head to Mrs. Chase's room, an elderly lady that lost her family to the epidemic and has turned mute and withdrawn.

"well you can do a lavage, if the drug isn't too dangerous, but usually in the capital when someone overdoses they mean to kill themselves, so you give them activated charcoal" Makenzie takes the chart, "its messy and the person almost always throws up violently but at least the drug gets out of their system, then its just a matter of giving them fluids to rebalance their electrolytes and some heavy psychoanalysis to get them on the right tract."

"What if they refuse treatment? I mean some people don't want to talk" I nose to where the old lady is laying back facing us curled up on herself.

"Well if they are mute or just as withdrawn as Chase then they might have to be institutionalized"

"Are there many?" I ask

"There is a main mental hospital that does steady business in the capital, sad but true" Makenzie tells me, this helps me understand the place better…yes it's not safe, but people aren't all happy either.

After rounds I head to my books and dive in, I'm on more advanced theory now, Makenzie is a great teacher and her exams are challenging. I am halfway thru medicines that help in stabilizing heart rates when my comunicuff goes off.

"_bored yet?"_ it reads, it's Ken, I sigh because he knows I'm never bored

"_no"_ I reply, "_you are_"

"_coming to diner? You weren't there yesterday"_ he asks

"_should be, sorry was caught up"_

"_be there have surprise"_ he leaves it at that

I don't understand until it dawns on me….

It's my birthday and I didn't even realize it…I hope he doesn't want to surprise me.

I get to the mess hall and he and Maverick are joking around. When I come to sit down Ken comes over and plants a kiss on my lips and places a small box in my hands at the same time.

"Happy birthday Ariana" he says

"Ken" I whine, "I didn't want undue fuss, remember? You had asked me last week and I said no gifts"

"You're seventeen Ari, almost on your last year of reapings if you were still in the running, in my district this would be cause for celebrations, so allow me this small…tiny…insignificant gesture" he explains

I roll my eyes and open the box, a small basket of wild strawberries. "how did you-?"

"On one of our war games outside I found a copse of them. Knew you liked strawberries so I went back with permission under the guise of hunting and gathered them, they get a venison meal and you get dessert" he smiles, "I would have taken Mav along but…."

Maverick has a deep embarrassed blush…"its okay" he says, "I better head off…Zigg wanted to talk to me" and he leaves with not so much a birthday wish.

Ken sits with me with his gentle smile and his gentle words but my heart is tugged by how Mav has been acting. He seems withdrawn ever since the weather has gotten warm.

"Hey you okay?" Ken nudges me, "district 13 to Agent Craaane"

I start, "sorry just worried about Maverick" I tell him, "he seems a bit off lately" I take a strawberry so as to not disappoint Ken and end off almost finishing the whole container leaving a few for Mav but I don't let on. "sorry I have to get going Ken" I kiss him on the cheek, "thanks for the gift it's delicious", I sneak it out of the mess hall with not much problems.

I end up outside Mav's room with the rest of the strawberries, I knock but the door swings open on its hinges. "Mav?" I hear water running in the bathroom. In fact I see it pooling out of the bathroom a bit and alarm bells are going off in my head like mad, I drop the box of fruit rushing in, and scream in shock.

Maverick is lying in the tub immersed in water and not getting up, he has his clothes on still. Means one thing….he was trying to kill himself?!

"Mav!" I yelp and rush to pull him out of the tub and quickly shut off the taps.

I check him, I can't feel a pulse, he's not breathing and I don't know how long he has been like that. He was only gone for an hour..less even. I had called Ziggy via my comunicuff and she said Mav wasn't with her.

"No Mav no!" I cry and start CPR, I take a second to dial Makenzie as I continue I talk thru my communicator.

"_**ari? Whats wrong?"**_

"It's Mav he tried to drown himself!" I cry

"_Keep at the CPR I'm coming over" _she says

I continue, my arms ache from pulling him out and the rhythmic pumping I am doing to keep him alive, fifteen pumps and then two breaths, fifteen pumps and then two breaths.

I feel tears running down my face, I can't loose him I can't!

Ken find us before Makenzie does, "Ari I went to your room and-" he stops mid sentence and runs to where I am trying desperately to keep Maverick alive, he takes over the chest compressions and I am breathing for him.

Five minutes, its five minutes of this and finally Mav gasps and coughs up water. Other than that he remains unconscious...

Ken collapses beside the tub and pulls the stopper to let the water drain out. "Christ Mav what the hell?!" he snaps at my friend.

Of course Mav doesn't respond but I throw Ken a look that says to back off. I just gather his upper body in my arms and stroke his hair until Makenzie arrives with an emergency nurse who takes Mav from my arms, gets him on a stretcher and starts to steer him out. When I make to go Makenzie holds me off as the nurse takes my friend away. "Stay here for now Ari, we have to get him settled I'll message you" she touches my communicator.

I don't bother going to my room and neither does Ken leave, we sit on Maverick's bed. Ken takes me in his arms as I start to cry, why would Mav try and kill himself? What did I do?

"You okay?" Ken asks and I shake my head, "it's not your fault darlin', please don't be upset, he's alive"

"Why would he do that?" I ask between sobs

"I don't know, Mav always was quiet" he said, "he doesn't talk much"

No he didn't, not lately, earlier when I was still recovering, and I was around him more he seemed fine…better than fine. But lately I haven't been around and I realize we were a team and I was getting busy while he wasn't.

"I want to see him" I say

"We have to wait Ari" ken says, "I'll stay with you until they call okay?"


	22. Abandonment Issues

**Author's Note: **Oh no! Poor Mav! Poor Ari! Poor kids! (poor ken who cannot compete with how much Ariana cares for mav but then again ken is okay with playing second fiddle)...warning: some very mild swearing

Thanks to my reviewers **THG, Arrow **(don't worry Arrow he's my favorite too) and** Mia**

Chapter 22

Abandonment Issues

It's close to midnight when my communicator goes off. We didn't sleep, Ken just held me the entire time. I think he knows I needed a friend right now.

He keeps me from rushing off, we get a set of clothing for Maverick and his wheelchair before going because hospital gowns are not comfortable, and if he can he will want to be mobile.

When we get there Makenzie greets us. "he's awake but doesn't want to talk about what happened" she says, "we have him restrained because he punched an orderly."

"What's wrong with him?" Ken asked I shoot him a glance that says 'nothing is wrong with him!'

"Depression, he's been withdrawn for a while since the games started" Makenzie says and lets us enter his room.

The lights are dimmed and he is laying on his back his hands manacled to his bedframe. Ken doesn't but I rush to his side and take his hand.

"Mav?" I touch his face and he turns away, I get him to look at me, "talk to me!" I look at him stern, "you try and off yourself on my birthday I think I earned the right to know"

He just looks at me, his eyes sad, and hollow, "you don't need me" he says his voice just as stern as mine, "I'm useless I can't go outside, I can't go and collect strawberries or do rifle training or anything"

"Bullshit; I don't need you" I say annoyed, "Mav you're my best friend, and like an older brother to me, why would I not ever need you?"

"What can I do Ariana?" he looks at me angry, I realize this is the first time I have ever seen him angry, "I can't do anything! I'm not super smart like Zigg! I'm no doctor! I don't do soldier! Tell me one thing I can do!"

I place a hand on his heart, "this is what you are Mav, as flawed as all of us are in one way or another you follow your heart, when I'm upset you are there to talk to me, why can't I do the same with you? Why did you turn off? Why couldn't you find me?"

"You were busy" he glances at Ken and then outside to Makenzie

"I am never too busy, _ever_ okay? I won't abandon you, not now, not when I have to do whatever they want me to do, not when you're old and grey not when I'm old and grey" I hug him, "just don't give up okay? You are needed, you are loved" I meet his eyes and he seems to get it, _I need him_!

Ken undoes his restraints and he wraps me in his arms and cries.

"I'm sorry" he says into my shoulder, "I'm so sorry"

I hug back as tight as I can, "I know, its okay"

Ken and I leave when Maverick falls asleep. I don't want to leave him but even Makenzie says he needs time alone. I return to his room and clean up even if janitorial staff have done so already. As tired as I am my mind won't shut off.

The next day as always I am in the 'dojo' as Charring calls it now and my mind is definitely not on anything. I'm so distracted he doesn't even want Ken sparring with me, he puts a dummy in front of me and tells me to punch and throw kick until my stress is out sending the rest of the class outside, but I can't focus, my mind is such a flurry and worry my throws are sloppy and you barely hear the contact.

"Crane!" he barks and I start, my eyes tear up and I do believe this is the first time I have shown that I was upset in his presence.

His features soften slightly, "sit" he says and he sits across from me on the mats, "what's with you today? Even on the more violent replays of the games so far you are not as distracted"

"Mav tried to kill himself last night" I say practically blurting out something I had told myself not to breathe a word about.

Charring looks at me, "do you blame yourself?"

"Yes…I mean no…I mean" I blow off my frustration, "I don't know. I mean when we were hanging out more he was okay, then I got really busy training and then Ken and the other soldiers wanted to show me some techniques after class, and then Ziggy had some new tech to introduce me too and then studying…"

"So you think because he was left alone it got the better of him" he looks at me, pock faced as he is his eyes show concern and it's real, "what did he say to you"

"He would have talked to me but I was busy" I look at the floor

Charring puts a hand on my shoulder which gets me to look at him, "sometimes we don't know people are depressed until it's too late, there would have been nothing you could have done otherwise, you think Maverick is blaming you?"

I shrug

"Do yourself a favour and don't do it for him okay, you are a solid student Crane, but when you are feeling guilty it messes with your concentration and when that happens you make mistakes" he gets up, then gets me to stand, "come at me"

"Sir?"

"Come at me, hit me pretend I am the embodiment of all your frustration and anger, let me have it"

Two hours later I am drenched in sweat but feeling much better.

I eat quickly and meet Makenzie in the ward.

"No class today" she still hands me my labcoat, "I will go over your journal and you my dear are going to talk with Maverick he is your patient now"

"Isn't there something about this compromising objectivity?" I ask

"You want Ginger?" she says raising a brow, Mr. Ginger although it says he is suffering from depression is also a pervert who likes to see the nurses wearing tight uniforms…and he drops his glasses only to watch them being picked up again. I don't answer but take Maverick's chart and head off to his room.

I read what Dr. Makenzie has written in his file

The initial date is the date of my win near midnight:

_Ruptured diaphragm_

_Broken costal rib, 7 , left_

_Hemothorax_

_Punctured lung_

_Concussion_

_Possible L4 severed (incomplete)_

_Arrhythmia (SND) pacemaker placed, HR normalized_

This was probably from when he woke:

_Bowel and bladder function adequate_

_No difficulty breathing but painful_

_Coherent but does not know the date and has trouble remembering what happened to him_

_Length of recovery: unknown_

Again several days later she adds some in a new pen colour

_Severe depression_

_Abandonment issues_

_Loss of sibling causing semi suicidal thoughts (explained by patient as to why he had volunteered for games in the first place…considered it recompense for failure)_

_Remembering past events now causing distress_

_Length to full recovery unknown due to type of injury and lack of support structure_

Last entry is from last night:

_Patient returns attempt on life by drowning_

_request for antidepressants denied by command due to "financial waste in resources"_

_researching alternate solutions_


	23. A Promise to Keep

**Author's Note: **almost at the halfway point people! still with me?

Thanks go to my reviewers **Wren, KL10X, JB, Arrow** and** HL98**

Chapter 23

A Promise to Keep

I finish reading the rest which is just blood work ups the type of pacemaker they used on him. What suture material and of all things cost….the last part sickens me and I don't bother reading it

I get to his door slightly more prepared than before but not by much; at least I know why Makenzie put me on this case…

I'm his support structure; she needs me to help him recover.

He looks up and smiles, already I can see he feels a bit better when I'm with him.

"Hey Mav" I say

"Hey" he smiles back, "how are rounds?"

"I've stopped rounds, she's given me a case to work on" I hold up my clipboard

"Oh? What's the case?" he looks at me eager to hear about my work, I use this to my advantage

"It's a case study, this guy lets call him X"

"X?"

"Doctor patient privilege, so anyway X was attacked on a roof fell broke his back and became depressed, probably because prior to this accident he was into sports or swimming or something it doesn't say that"

"Okay.." Mav nods and gets me to continue

"Right so that was his initial entry, apart from not being able to walk he can still use the bathroom normally or close to it, and he can breathe on his own"

"Another plus" Mav says

"But he's still depressed, I mean nothing is getting thru, not that he has a lot of people around that can help him thru it at the time, I guess doctors can only go so far" I continue

He snorts, ah he is agreeing

"So they want to drug him up, command says 'find another way' so they hand the file to me" I flip it over to show him his file, "seems to me you needed a friend more than a doctor Maverick"

He looks at me, features unreadable, "I'm your case study?"

"I was trying to find a way to tell you and yet not tell you" I reply, "I mean Mav you survived! You have friends, and yet…"

"And yet I try and kill myself" he looks at his hands, "Ari I don't know how to explain it better than last night"

"Don't explain why then" I take one of his hands, "Mav if something bothers you let it out"

"I don't want you to go" he mumbles

I blink, "wha?"

He sighs, "Plutarch told me before he left, soon they are gonna send you to the capital and I don't want you to go, I just have a bad feeling something will happen to you, and it brought Marie back and I guess I just…" he sighs

"Like Marie? Did you have the same feeling with your sister?" I ask,maybe the thaught of loosing someone close again got the better of him…

He looks shocked then realization hits and he gives a small nod.

"I'm gonna be okay Mav, I won't do anything risky, or stupid" I say to him but he just gives me a look that is so not believing me, "think I want to die in the Capitol?"

He shrugs and I kiss him on the cheek, "I want to come back here to my friends and family"

"Family?" he looks at me confused

"Aren't you my big brother?" I smirk at him, "and as your little sister I want you to be happy and well, and if you need to talk I will get Ken to show you how to hack my communicator when I'm here" I tell him, "and when I'm gone just know I WILL come back, I dunno how long I will be gone Mav but I will come back. I promise"

He looks dubious

"when I make a promise I keep it Maverick Letorch, so know you will see me again, even tire of me" I tease him

He touches my face, "I will never tire of you Ariana, that's my promise to you"


	24. Alias

**Author's note: **Midway people! That's right this story has gone past thirty chapters!...wait till you get to Phoenix Rising…still not finished it! EEK!

Thanks go to my reviewers as per the norm, because without you guys I wouldn't be writing! Thanks to **Wren, Eagle, Arrow, KL10X,**** HL98 **and **JB**

Chapter 24

Alias

With the games over which took longer than expected since the arena was massive this year my training has slowed and calmed. I can whop the soldiers in martial arts, use a gun as good as Boggs and with the exception of not wanting to be a diagnostician Dr. Makenzie just lets me study and hang out with Maverick every day.

We tend to hang out a lot more than afternoons, he gets the same schedule as I do only his has _mentor _attached to it, I guess since he had taken the academy in two they think he can handle this job. Either that or the good doctor had said it's either hang with me or drug him up on a daily basis. In any case I think the prior idea has warrant because…

They aren't wrong.

When I fight he gives me pointers.

When I am at the range he watches how I hold myself and my gun.

When Ziggy is showing me a piece of tech I will be using like the jamming devise Maverick is explaining when and where it will be the most useful.

Despite everything he is actually really good at this and I have a lot more confidence than before. I guess a year at the academy in two is worth something here.

The only time he can't mentor is in the hospital wing but that when our roles reverse. Makenzie once told me if I can explain something clearly enough so another understands then I know my theory. So I am teaching Maverick first aid and basic emergency techniques. Who knows maybe he can help while I am gone. He seems to catch things well and learns fast enough. With us hanging out daily he doesn't seem as withdrawn as well which to me is always a plus.

We are sitting in the lab with Ziggy. We had gotten a memo this morning that in two months around the time of the victor's tour I will be dispatched. Final preparation have to be started immediately.

Meaning I needed a new identity, complete with ident card and transit pass for the border guards.

All of this Ziggy can do standing on her head blindfolded, all she needs from me is the thing I'm having the hardest time figuring: a name.

I had figured the family name very quickly…Sparrow. I loved these little birds, brazen and stubourn even for their small size. I would sketch them in the border of my letters to Peeta.

The thing that was driving me mad was a first name. I never had to name myself, and it sounds silly just saying it but how would one name themselves.

Mav offered Marie but I don't like Marie. Plus if something happened to me and he found out who knows what would happen hearing Marie is dead a second time in his life…no Marie will not work.

The name I picked actually happened when I talked to Makenzie. She had said once she had wanted to have children so I asked her what would she had named her child.

"Lex" she said, "or Lexis if it were a girl, it means 'defender'", she looked at me a sad smile, "sometimes I wish I could have had a child with Roan but life doesn't always work out the way you want"

My transport card, my passport, my motorcycle licence and everything I need to place myself in the lion's den sport the name Lexis Sparrow.

With that settled I was given workshops on how to ride a motorcycle because that's how I will be entering the Capitol. Not by train and to this I thank whatever god is out there, no for me to enter I have to take a different route. Boggs is my teacher in all of this having done runs by the old roads himself when he was a younger. He's kinda like an uncle, he smiles and jokes and he teaches me the finer points of motorcycle maintenance and how to ride them. There is an underground circuit we use for this and me on my bright red one and he on a jet black one do the tour three times a day so I get used to it and allow me to feel natural as possible. I have to say I like riding a motorcycle, and its heads and shoulder above any capital train.

Maverick watched from the observation deck. Everytime I put on my protective gear he looks at me worried. He doesn't get over that protective streak. I spoke to Ziggy and Makenzie telling them to keep him busy. He needs contact more than the basket cases in the mental ward who barely acknowledge we enter a room. They promise to look after him.


	25. Dangerous Threats

**Author's Note: **Hey remember those times Ariana spoke her mind…..well…

Thanks go to my reviewers as always **KL10X, Arrow, Wren, HL98** and **THG**

Chapter 25

Dangerous Threats

It gets cold fast around district thirteen, and soon a light dusting of snow sends the soldiers inside for training. It means the victory tour is almost upon us and with that I get a message from command.

It seems President Alma Coin wants to see me before I am sent off.

I have never been to level four. It's mostly administration and conference rooms. It's also where 'command' is situated.

There are rooms that are welcoming, well lit, warm. This is not one of them. Even knocking on the metal door makes me feel I really should not be here. Even if I am her spy, even if I was trained to be a weapon in and of myself (so says Charring), even if I can shoot the wings off a dragonfly (or so Boggs says).

Not even this agent feels safe here. My stomach twists unpleasantly entering this office.

A huge dark wood desk sits in the middle surrounded by bookshelves and a dark carpet underneath my feet. I start to feel sick at seeing opulence when Maverick was suffering from depression and wasn't allowed even a small reprieve from his hurt.

'who does she think she is?' my mind is telling me, 'she's as bad as Snow and you are working for her!'

She looks up and I get the same feeling I had on my reaping day. Now it's mixed with a strong feeling to run.

She is slight in frame and has pale eyes, I can't say the colour but it's almost washed out, and graying hair that is cut so extreamly straight it looks like a wig. I have half a mind to try and tug it off to ease my inner child and curiosity but I don't think this woman would appreciate that.

"Take a seat agent Crane" she says and I do so, not wanting to be rude, "I was just going over your final assessments, Charring and Boggs give you glowing reviews and Dr. Makenzie is pleased with your work. We want to set you up in her old hospital" she looks at me her lips pressed together and into some sort of smile that never reaches her eyes, "we expect great things from you" she adds

"If you don't mind me asking what do you really expect me to accomplish in the Capitol" I ask and she slides a folder towards me.

I open it to a photograph or President Snow, it's like ice water was dumped on me.

"We want information and the only way to get it is getting close to him" she says, "shouldn't take long a year maybe, who knows, he keeps the blue prints of the capital on his personal computer and he knows I have some spies in his city already, not all of them but the obvious red herrings" she gets up, "you've grown up some, almost unrecognizable to how you looked in your games, which is the only version capital citizens remember victors, except Finnick of course"

"If it's all the same I would prefer a different assignment" I say and she looks at me with her pale eyes, "if I go near him I might want to kill him outright"

"You do that and it will probably be the last thing you do, and I wouldn't do it if I were in your position" she says coolly

"Oh?"

"Think of whom you have here my dear" she says, "Plutarch made your team personally, persuaded me to help Letorch….if you died…well what's the point of having them here? If word got out that a tribute survived the games….well Snow doesn't like loose ends"

I don't know what cause my reaction, the open threat to Makenzie and Ziggy or just Maverick but I have leaped from my chair and have Coin pinned to the floor my arm across her neck within seconds.

I don't think she was expecting that she stares at me with the whisp of fright I saw once in a tribute in my games, stunned for the moment. When our eyes meet solidly there is steel behind mine that is mirrored in hers. I'm seventeen years old and I am going to do something I never thought I would do.

"Listen very carefully" I tell her softly, and clearly, "one hair harmed, one drop of blood spilt, or one moment of neglect I hear is caused to Maverick Letorch, or if anything happen to my team and I get wind of it? You know my accuracy with a rifle, you know I can pin the larger soldiers down within three minutes and you openly threaten me with harming my crew? I'll do my job, and when I return if I find out you hurt ANY of them then my next target is you" I get up as a soldier comes in and sees Coin on the floor gasping for air. I know she is faking because I only pinned her I didn't aim to kill her…

"M'am! Everything alright?" he asks

Coin looks at the soldier then at me… "prepare Sparrow for deployment" she says getting to her desk and straightening out her hair and clothing, giving me the coldest of glares that barely can touch the disrespect I have for her. Only thing that is keeping me from offing her here and now is she has the same vendetta I do.

Take down Snow.


	26. Taking Wing

**Author's note: **This makes me feel like all the way back in the 69th games, the launch…only its not a launch unless you consider the capital another hunger game arena :P

Thanks go to my reviewers**: 'Guest', KL10X, Arrow **and **THG**

Chapter 26

Taking Wing

I don't tell Maverick or my friends what happened in Coin's office. For one I don't want them worried about me and two I don't want them letting Coin know I told them about the threat.

Maverick finds me in my room looking at the locket. I had it thru the games, then had given it to Peeta and he had returned to me last year. God last year feels like an eternity ago…

"Hey little bird" he says from the doorway, "all set?"

"I guess" I look up at him, "how are you feeling? They let you out"

"Yeah, I guess when they found out you were being deployed they wanted to make sure I had a chance to say goodbye and good luck" he replied running a hand thru his hair, "Ken going with you?"

"just to the border of where the real road starts" I say getting my bag over my shoulder, "should take me a few days to get there, apparently Zigg got me a place to stay already she tapped the bank account and wired some to a new account for me"

"she is the adamant hacker isn't she" Mav chuckles

There is an awkward silence, him sitting in his chair me standing with my bag slung over my shoulder…I don't want to say that word…

"well" I say to him, "I guess this is it"

"guess so" he looks at me…

We mean to try and stay stone faced but I crush into him and wrap my arms around him, "thank you Mav"

He holds tight to me, "don't do anything stupid okay, get this done and get back here. You have the means to contact us right?"

I tap my bag, my wrist communicator Ziggy modified to link to her console in her lab, the jamming devices and several pairs to put on phones to negate bugs in the system as well as one that I can attach to the jack if I have to, along with devices to spy with and tap phone and computers. I can contact them but we all agreed I should keep radio silence for as long as I can. It's safer that way.

"You stay safe" I tell him, "no more swimming lessons in the bathtub" I wipe my eyes

He has tears in his too but he doesn't let any fall. "I promise, plus Ken is bunking with me, his mom is cramping his style"

I know why though, Ken promised to keep an eye on him for me too. We are close friends but that's as far as he knows it will go, I can't have a relationship when I am going into a hostile situation.

We head to the underground garage that has a steep tunnel system leading to the outside. Ken is there getting his gear on and waves me over. Maverick give me one last hug and kiss on my cheek and lets me go. I steel myself.

"Ready to go Sparrow?" Ken asks as I get my plain leather jacket on.

"As I'll ever be" I say

"Right you know how this works we get to the main road then your GPS will let you know the directions you take" he says, "should take you around five days or so, you check in once with your communicator and then its radio silence until you accomplish your mission"

I nod, "right" I look at my motorcycle, I check it over busying myself with little things until Ken sees I'm stalling

"Ariana" he looks at me, "you'll do awesome, just remember who you are doing this for"

"I know it's for the rebellion" I sigh

"No Ari, its for the districts, for your mentors, for your friends" he says, "because if we manage to pull this off, there will be no hunger games in the end" he kisses my cheek on the opposite side of where Maverick did, "so keep that here" he pokes my chest, "and here" he taps between my eyes, "and you'll come out of this okay"

"Thanks" I say as he hugs me

"Wave bye now" he says as we mount our bikes and rev the engines I wave to Maverick one last time and then we bolt from outside into the tunnel system leading to the cold winter air.


	27. Capitol's Guardian Angel

**Author's Note: **As unlikely this scenario is people play along m'kay? :P

Many thanks to my reviewers: **HL98, Wren, KL10X, THG, JB,** **Quinn **and **Arrow**

Chapter 27

Capitol's Guardian Angel

It's six days and twelve border guards that kept me from this place of opulence, greed and naivety. I arrive late at night and am directed to the apartment block two blocks away from St Augustines. It's walking distance and I quietly thank Ziggy for this. She knew I don't like cars or using my motorcycle for commutes in the city. So she found a place close enough I can wake up and get breakfast on the way. She even put me with a bistro between the hospital and my apartment.

The super who remind me so much of Perry it isn't funny wakes with curlers in her hair.

"Sorry to wake you, I'm Dr. Lexis Sparrow I'm one of your new tenants" I say politely, "I would have been here earlier but getting here was a bit troublesome"

Miss Dewinter yawns and ushers me in and shows me to my apartment five stories up. "It's alright I have been trying to get tenants so being here even in the dead of night is still a bonus for me" she says she hands me the key and heads back to her bed.

It's empty but for the necessities, well they call it necessities.

I full kitchen equipped with ordering panel. A large flat screen television with soft couch and off to the side is a large bedroom with bathroom attached. This place remind me of the tribute tower so much that I wonder if that was also Ziggy's doing.

I take out my jamming device and set it to the level two setting since its so spacious, it lets out a fine high pitch squeal and then beeps twice to tell me it's secure.

I take out my communicator and punch in the release code so I get Ziggy's lab, I type in '**in capitol safe'** and in next to no time the reply is a mix of all of them saying good luck and then **'radio silence'** at the end. I shut it off.

So now I am alone. I unpack what few things I brought, I did bring my art supplies despite them saying it would compromise me. I will just keep it under my bed. Harry's handkerchief I tuck into my leather jacket. It's a piece of family…or as close to family I will ever get. I worry for them but push that aside. I have a job to do.

The next morning I wake before the sun. It's strange being on my own in a large city. I make myself tea. I only order the ingredients from the panel. A microwave oven suffices as a means to heat my cup of water and I place the tea bag to steep. I have ample funds, Thanks again to Ziggy and her magical fingers. She siphoned just enough over the span of my training to not arouse suspicion at the local bank my victor winnings are stored and transferred them to a new account. "Everything is easy when you know how to work the system" she said to me once.

Now it's my turn to work it in my favour. I drink my tea scalding hot to wake me up fully and warm me before I head out. The sun is just rising and I don't hear any of my neighbors waking just yet. It doesn't matter if I make acquaintances or not here, my job is the hospital. I stop at the local café and order a sandwich from the bleary eyed owner, who can't believe someone is up at his opening hours. But as I am polite and cordial he puts the extra effort in and makes me a hot cocoa to take with me with my breakfast.

The hospital is a tall white brick building with many windows. There are two entrances and I make for emergency since that's where the acceptance letter we received told me to present myself.

My boss' name is Dr. Charlotte Church. A graying lady with sharp eyes and even sharper attire. She greets me and gives me the once over.

"I got your references" she said, "I know Makenzie, she was a colleague I had several years back, very wise for a young woman of thirty, a bit idealistic but then again in our profession we might have that happen from time to time" she smirks, "I'll show you the locker room first and then the tour" she looks at me, "I'm sure you'll want to change into something a bit less showy"

I'm in my clean dark jeans, a white oxford top and my leather jacket and boots plus sunglasses…I might have looked like a rock star to her.

"Yes mam" I say and she shows me to where I change and get into scrubs and a labcoat.

The next couple weeks are calm. Barely anyone comes into emergency and when they do Church handles them.

It's not until the first inclinings that winter is on its way out that we finally get what I have defined as an emergency. And it's also with a common thread.

The emergency technicians rush a young woman of around twenty years old into emergency.

"Overdose" they say, "sleeping pills". Church had gone on lunch break out in the market, and she left me in charge.

"Vitals?" I ask as I take a stethoscope from a hanger, her heart is beating but its weak and slow.

"Slow respiratory rate, low BP, low HR" he says as his partner wheels the stretcher into an exam room

"Charcoal given?" I ask as we race in

"Negative, someone forgot to restock!" he glares at his partner

I roll my eyes and take one of our kits we make up. Apparently this is the beginning of the season; there are small bundles of young adults who do this each year to rebel against their parents and society who love the games. They overdose to get attention.

I put a tube down her nose into her stomach and push a dose of activated charcoal down.

It's at that point it's either her father or grandfather come in, the voice is deep and somewhat recognizable as he asks after her.

Not until I turn the young lady on her side and allow the drug laden black puke to expel onto perfectly shinned black shoes do I look up.

I am face to face with President Snow.

Small world.


	28. Viper's Fangs

**Author's Note: **Not much of one this time just thanking **Wren **and** HL98** for their reviews. Oh and I made up the name of the drug, if it sounds familiar its only by coincidence, and this chapter marks that we have 20 chapters left to go! Onward!

Chapter 28

Viper's Fangs

The girl throws up all that's in her stomach and I lay her in a recovery position so she doesn't inhale any residue as I remove the feeding tube from her nose. My eyes had darted away from the snake's very quickly because although he is my objective the girl in bed is my priority right now.

I start an IV on her and fill out the paperwork while Nadine, one of our head nurses takes over at the girl's bedside.

When I look up again an older woman is standing next to Snow. She doesn't look happy.

"See what you are doing Cori? Arora tried to kill herself this time!" she snaps

I go up to them both and the woman reaches to grasp my hand, "how is she?"

"Unconscious for now, she will come to eventually" I say calmly, "Dr. Sparrow"

"Victoria Snow and this is-"

"President Snow" I finish and shake his hand, "I recognize you from the news and public announcements"

He looks at me, "you look familiar have we met?"

"y'know I get that a lot, people say I'm a dead ringer for that girl that died last year or the year before" I shrug, "personally I don't see the semblance but a friend said everyone has a twin out there. What is your relationship to the girl?"

"We're her grandparents, she stays with us during game season while her parents are off in district four sunning it up" Victoria Snow says, "they don't stay in capitol in the summer, so they leave her with us, it's only this year she has started this, but my husband won't acknowledge that its his fault!"

I raise my hands to calm her, "now isn't the time to lay blame, what did she take?"

"Adroxilas" President Snow says, "it's a-"

"Sedative yes I know of it, very powerful one. How did she get that it's only by prescription" I look between them both.

"She found it in my medicine cabinet" Victoria says, "I use it off and on in the winter months. She took almost the whole bottle"

"It's a miracle she is still alive" I mutter looking at my file, "she was brought before this?"

President Snow doesn't answer he just looks thru the window at his granddaughter who is still unconscious.

"I'm not sure" Victoria says, "this is the first time with us" she says I know she is lying because she gives her husband a furtive glance.

"If I could talk to you both privately" I say and lead them to one of our conference rooms. "I have to know what she was brought in for" I look at them after closing the door behind us, "it won't leave this hospital, this room or my lips, its doctor patient privilege"

President Snow doesn't look all that pleased so his wife explains.

"she had a child…still borne…two years ago" Victoria looks to be on the verge of tears so I pass her the box of tissues we have in the room, "after that she became distant, started hanging out with radicals…or at least that's how Cori calls them"

"Vicky!" he spits, "that's none of Dr. Sparrow's concern"

I see…all is not well in the Capitol after all.

"Everyone knows Cori!" she returns just as viciously, "it's just the high society don't want to see or hear it!" she gets up, "I have to call Daria and her husband let them know what happened"

President Snow reaches out to grasp her arm but she pulls away from his grasp, "I'm done with it! This was the last straw!" she storms out and I hear her bark for a telephone.

I sit across from my enemy and despite my burning hatred for the man I see the hurt I had felt when Seneca left. And a tiny part of me that would only be seen thru an electron microscope feels pity for this man. It soon dissipates when he opens his mouth.

"Such a waste of life" he gets up, "my own granddaughter trying to kill herself"

"Sometimes it's a cry for help" I say to him, "had you argued with her recently?"

He nods

"Of what?"

"The games, she was telling me how wrong I was, how it's a waste of life" he tuts, "naivety"

"Sir?"

"It's for the good of the country" he looks at me, "these games keep another rebellion from happening"

I nod, if only he knew. As I head home I have to acknowledge that this was my best performance, and if I have to spend anymore time around them I have to up my game.


	29. Into the nest

**Author's Note: **Does Snow know it's really her? My insight: if he does and he brought it up at home that night since they couldn't stay with Arora this is how I could see it go….

President Snow: I really do believe it's her Victoria  
Victoria Snow: Cori I don't care if it were Haymitch Abernathy in disguise she saved our granddaughter. I would pardon all her trespasses, heck I would hug her and adopt her! She didn't judge, she didn't refuse our girl, and I know she recognized Arora as our own. So as a favour to me, your _wife, leave her alone!_

Let that be that :P, if you disagree there is a nifty thing called a PM, give it a whirl I would love to debate this XD

Thanks go to my reviewers, **JB, Wren, Arrow, 'guest'** and** HL98** (sorry HL the next couple chapters aren't uber long but they will get longer I promise)

Chapter 29

Into the nest

Arora is sent home with names and numbers to psychiatrists and wellness centers a couple days later. She looks at me and I am sure she sees who I really am, but doesn't say a word. Victoria hugs me as thanks but President Snow doesn't.

"If there are any questions" I give them my phone number, "call me day or night" I hand it to Victoria who accepts it graciously.

"Thank you Dr. Sparrow" she says again and then leaves.

I don't expect them to call, but I know if I didn't try I would never know. I finish up my reports and the days carry on. Although I know now what Dr. Church was telling me about the busy season. Arora isn't the only overdosing we see leading up to the games.

And its not just overdosing, some had tried more drastic approaches. It makes me wonder why the upper class is ignoring this endemic problem.

Do they think it will just go away? Die out like fads that pass in the night? Or do they don't care…or is it something worse.

Do they not know.

Church has told me not to get too involved in this problem, 'we can't change the world' she says. Maybe she has given up; I find it hard to accept that a population would ignore this problem just to see twenty three children die each year. The numbers don't add up in my head.

It takes up most of my off hours, I write in my journal of what I see and hear, I also enter it into an electronic log so I have back-ups.

It's not until the day before this years reaping that I get a shock. I'm about to sleep when I get a call.

"hello?"

"_Dr. Sparrow?"_ Mrs. Snow is on the other end sounding concerned.

"Evening Mrs. Snow, how is Arora?" I ask I hadn't forgotten them since the puke hit the floor.

"_She's doing better thanks to you and the references you gave her. I'm surprised you remember us"_ she sounds pleased

"I tend to take all my patients personally Mrs. Snow. Is there something I can do?" I ask

"_Yes! I completely forgot. My husband is throwing one of his parties tomorrow, we were wondering, or rather I was wondering if you would care to join us? If you don't have proper attire I can send one of my stylists to attend to you for the evening"_ she asks

Okay I try and piece together what I just heard since I had been inducing vomiting all day to at least a dozen young adults. "you want me to come to a reaping party?"

"_Yes will you come? I think it would help Arora as well"_ she sounds hopeful

Damn she used her own granddaughter as leverage, she's good.

"Alright" I yawn, "I will let my boss know"

"_No need I will make all the arrangements for you, and my stylist will be at your place tomorrow morning"_ she says

"Tomorrow morning?" I question if this is a party then why…

"_Oh yes, it's a whole day affair my dear! See you there!"_ and she hangs up.

I groan inwardly, capital people.

I wake bleary eyed to the buzzer to my apartment going off. I wrap a dressing gown around my wiry frame and go to let the person in.

She addresses herself as Vesta, and she is nothing to what I would consider capitol. She barely has any adornments on her skin save for the golden tattoos that curl from the corner of her eyes. She's quiet as she enters, she had brought breakfast for me as well and a note from Victoria.

_Good morning darling!_

_My favorite stylist Vesta agreed to help you get ready for the party. She's very good! She's also Seneca Crane's stylist and personal assistant so I know she is talented. Tell her what you want and she will make it happen, money is no object please allow me to thank you in this way since words cannot cover the amount of gratitude I have for you saving my granddaughter._

_Victoria Snow_

I look at the young woman and feel a knot in my stomach form, she works with my brother. She must know who I am. However when she does meet my eyes I don't see recognition, maybe a bit of confusion that is quickly brushed aside.

"I can see I have my work cut out for me" she says and allows herself a little chuckle at my annoyed expression, "I'm joking, I hear you saved Arora Kinkaid?" I nod and she smiles, "she's a really nice girl, I'm glad she didn't succeed in trying to kill herself" she has me sit and eat as she looks me over. "You have really striking eyes, like Seneca" she says.

Oh no will this give me away? Will she know who I really am? But she doesn't react.

"You should see some of the well-to-dos" she says in conversation, "their eye colours change as much as their hair colour sometimes" she takes her coffee and sips at it, "well we have to get you a dress for the evening and then maybe French braid your hair with some flowers. And maybe some light foundation to even out your complexion. I don't do high capital style I hope you understand"

I breath a sigh of relief, "Miss Vesta I think I will have no problems with you"


	30. Capitol Party

**Author's Note: **"would Vesta recognize her? Would she tell Seneca?"

Vesta is born and raised Capitol, the Ariana she knows is still fourteen in her mind's eye, yes the eyes are unique but like Vesta said the well-to-do's change their eye colour like they change their hair colour. And poor Sen has enough to worry about, she won't bring up someone having his identical eye colour it would upset him.

I based Victoria on two of my favorite teachers from high school and college, very down to earth but very independent, and very take charge.

Thanks to my reviewers! **JB, KL10X, HL98, Arrow, Quinn,** **Wren, **and** THG**

Chapter 30

Capitol Party

I arrive at six o'clock in the morning at Snow's mansion. I feel like I'm fourteen again and coming here to talk with the president and I can feel that knot in my stomach tighten even more. I wish I had my pendant, something to hold onto as the districts each get reaped.

I had only watched recaps on the train and in district thirteen. It seems the capital have a more in depth show they watch.

Each district is shown and what they supply the capital with, then they do recaps of past winners and notable tributes. Each district is an hour long ending with the reaping of that years group.

I watch as they go to Two and one of the tributes they show is Maverick. I get misty eyed but thankfully a lot of the guests who are there are too. So my tears if any are shed aren't going to give me away.

"Poor boy" Victoria says as she comes over, "I heard his story thru interviews they had, loosing his sister, I can see why he wanted to protect that little darling in his games"

I look at her she is dabbing her eyes gently. I feel miserable.

"Don't be afraid to cry my dear, everyone does at a reaping, we all get attached to favorites quite deeply here" she takes me gently by the shoulder and leads me to a couch as we watch.

When my beloved five appears they have at least twenty minutes on me. It's weird having to get emotional over yourself but the way they have it playing out, with snippets from those interviews and a shot of the candlelight memorial. I have no trouble drumming up emotions for it. I hear some guest start bawling over what they see. Apparently I had made quite the impression without knowing it.

"I remember her tour" Arora shows up and sits with us, "grandpa was fuming when she refused to come to our dinner party we had planned out"

"Yes" Victoria says, "but I think her idea was far more appealing, those dinner parties get old fast don't you agree dear?" she looks at me

"I…well…uh" I haven't BEEN to many dinner parties to give a proper answer.

"I guess as a doctor you don't really get out much" Arora rescues me, she gives me a cautious glance

I blush furiously, "yeah, no rest for the ones saving lives I guess"

"we will have to remedy that!" Victoria says, "you are like a breath of fresh air Lexis, we will have you come to all parties this year! Get you nice and comfortable"

I gulp inwardly; I remember telling Hellen on my tour to spend any long length of time with capital people would drive me mad.

"I would love to" I say and am shocked that I could say that believably, "I think I will get some air though someone's perfume is making my eyes tear" I get up and go out to the balcony.

I needed air but for a completely different reason, not only the waves of perfume. I had seen Tracker and Tracer, both wearing black arm bands. Even Perusse was wearing something a bit more low key than her usual violent violet outfits. I know I should return to see twelve but that's not for a few more hours. I stand and let the cool breeze hit me, it's welcomed after being in a stuffy hall.

"Hey Doc" I hear and am started out of my thoughts, Arora stands in the doorway.

I nod hello as she comes over with a cup of what looks like tea, I sniff at it, and it is tea. "Thank you, its very kind" I sip at it

"Granma was worried about you, told me to bring you out a drink and make sure you were alright" she looks at me calculatingly, "I'm not for crowds myself anymore, not since…." She places a hand over her stomach.

"I heard, I'm so sorry Arora, did the father…" I look at her with concern

"he didn't want anything to do with me after it happened" she replies, "after that grandfather wasn't all that interested in me, I think he saw me as a failure in his bloodline. That's when I met Castiel and him and I started hanging out" she leans on the balcony, "do you like the games doc?"

I lean on the balcony myself, "are you asking me as a doctor? As a human being? Or as a capital citizen?"

"Does it matter which?" she looks at me, "when I was little I loved it, thought it was a big game that the blood wasn't real, that the tributes actually were great actors, but as I got older I realized it wasn't a play. They were real, they died and I tried to get back to that point where I loved the games, but I couldn't not after knowing the truth."

"I guess I have to agree, only I knew they were all too real to be staged" I look out at the view, "life is precious, these games…sometimes I wonder myself if its even worth it" I look at her, "but I don't think taking ones life is a way to get them to stop"

She blushes, "I had had a fight with grandfather, I told him he had the power to stop this, to make things better, he refuses. I called him power hungry and a monster, and then when he stormed out with my grandma I did it. I don't know why I did it but I felt it was the only way to make him see how serious I was taking this"

I sigh, "sometimes people can't see past the end of their nose Arora, not even something as tragic as a loss of a loved one can change who they are"

She nods, "I guess even a sixteen year old dying can do little to change the tide" her eyes meet mine, there is understanding, "maybe she had to….maybe she felt she needed to"

"Maybe" I say, "we'll never know"

"I guess not" she sighs, "rebels lives fast and die young, at least that's what Castiel told me once" she looks at me; I return a look of confusion as she turns and heads back inside.

I return for the outer district, ten, eleven and twelve. A girl with thick blond ringlets from ten reminded me of Hellen only much younger. Her counterpart was a young boy.

In eleven a pair of siblings, I see as the parents are horrorstruck and the mother nearly collapses from shock only being able to stand with the aid of her husband.

Then twelve.

I try and not look as focused, try and act like everyone else.

Problem being everyone is still riveted to the television. So I can't look away. The girl I don't react for. But as they do a scan of the boys my eyes can't help searching out Peeta and then Gale.

Peeta is fifteen, he is taller he looks a bit run down. If I'm not mistaken he looks like he has a bruise on his jaw but I can't be sure from the angle the camera is. Gale is seventeen the grey eyes catch me and weld me to my seat until Corey Mallone is called up and my heart starts to beat again.

"Strange how you reacted" President Snow says from behind me, "you seemed almost tense"

I blink, stand and turn, "I thought I saw someone I knew is all President Snow, I think it's the late hour and being up so early. Mind plays tricks on an exhausted body I guess"

"Indeed" he makes to go but tilts his head to get me to follow, "how are you finding the capital Dr. Sparrow? You hail from Three?"

I nod, it was part of the bio Ziggy wrote for me, grew up in a foster home, no parents and Sparrow is a name I gave myself when I was 18. The real name was lost in a fire not long after. Ziggy figured all the angles and knew that all the files would be burned to ash after a fire they had a couple years back, we made me three years older than I really am. For all they know is on computers only now, not even an old blood smear remains of who I am to them. "I just moved here sir, it is different"

"You impressed me with your discretion" he says, "Church would have called for a psychologist and a psychiatrist as soon as Arora was stable"

"I believe it's no good to talk to someone who just woke up from trying to kill themselves sir" I reply, yes I am a hypocrite I did that very thing to Mav, "how has she been?"

He doesn't reply right away, "she used to be so precious to me, called me grandpa, she would run into my study whenever they visited around game time and we'd watch together. Now? She would rather side with district sympathizers or try and kill herself than to enjoy her life" he sneers, "she can't just enjoy being free"

"How can one enjoy being free when they know so many aren't" I reply then I look at my watch. "If you would excuse me President Snow I should head home, I get up early for work" with that I head in for my coat. I say bye to his wife and granddaughter and head for my apartment.


	31. Knowing the Enemy

**Author's Note: **Time to comment on reviews! Thanks btw to my fab four on this past Chappie!

**Wren:** Yes I like her too, but don't forget she is a Snow despite her last name bineg Kinkaid ;)

**HL98**: If he is suspicious he isn't letting on, mainly because of his wife I suspect

**THG:** see response to HL98 :P

**KL10X:** yes I mentioned your Sophie! Maybe it will give you insentive to get back to writing?

I love responding to your reviews guys keep'em coming…with that

ONWARD!

Chapter 31

Knowing the Enemy

I turn down the invite to the parade soirée. I can't think let alone act the part of a capital game loving citizen at his mansion. President Snow is a horrible man, not just to the district but to his family.

I keep busy at the hospital; with the games begining the influx of 'sympathizer attempts' sky rockets. We barely keep our heads above water and nearly run out of reversing agents and activated charcoal.

One evening near the end of the training week we get a call. Injury at the tribute tower. Church orders me to go, as much as I try and refuse she gives me a stern look and tells me since I am the junior resident its my job to do these runs.

I fight the urge to scream refusal and pack my emergency kit. I don't know who I will run into and if they will recognize me.

Just the drive to the tower makes my stomach knot. My friends and colleagues are in there looking after the kids. Tracker and Tracer are in there with Perry. I push all this aside, and then breath a sigh of relief. We don't go to the actual apartments there is a nurses station that we attend to and the tribute and their escort are there not the mentors.

It's a boy from eight, he had gotten into a fight with a career and they had been at it. The career is in solitary until the games begin. From what I learn the rule states any tribute caught starting a fight is placed in solitary until the launch. It would be a killer for the outer district, since they need the time to train but for careers it would actually take the fight out of them. He has several cuts on his face and arms from when knives were thrown at him in the training room and a broken nose. I stitch him up as he looks forlorn; he looks to be around my actual age.

"See Tory good as new" his escort says

"Everything alright" I hear and I can feel the hairs on the back on my neck stand on end

"Oh! President Snow! What are you doing here?" the escort says shocked that the President would take such interest.

"Heard a fight broke out" he says, "your tribute is alright?"

"Y-yessir" the escort says, "the doctor on duty is really good at her job isn't she Tory?"

The boy looks close to peeing himself, he's seventeen and he is afraid of Snow. I don't blame him. But he steps forward and shows his bandaged arms and the row of stitches I did across his forhead.

"She is indeed" he says, "well take Tory back up to your level please" he says as the escort nearly runs with Tory to the elevator.

"Dr. Sparrow" he acknowledges me

"President Snow" I return

"I was looking for you at the hospital" he said, "they sent you here"

"A doctor's work is never done" I reply as I help Valair pack up our supplies.

"Indeed, you weren't at our parade soirée. I was concerned I might have turned you off" he sounds genuine enough and Valair is looking at me to say something.

"No sir, work is getting busy since the games are almost here" I reply, "I couldn't take time off in good conscience"

"I see, will you walk with me?" he pulls his shoulder away I look at my assistant and he gives a small nod telling me he can finish up.

We walk outside and towards victor's hall, the lights are off right now and when he enters with me he flicks a switch so the room is lit up. Memories flood back to me, of being fourteen and fifteen and working this room to my will. I see in my minds eye Tracker after the rule change when I was fourteen; overcome and trying to bury is hurt by reading a magazine, Haymitch at the bar ordering a large scotch. Finnick with Johanna teasing each other and joking. Hellen and Seeder chattering away about this and that.

"I like to come here when no one is around" Snow says snapping me out of my thoughts, "in just a couple more years will be my second quell" he sounds almost pleased at this

I bite back bile at the thought, "I can imagine how the influx of emergencies will go" I reply, "may I ask something?"

"Of course you may" he looks at me calmly

I nod, "do people know? About these suicide attempts? I mean in general" I look concerned

"ah…yes I can see it in your eyes, I spoke to Church about you, another idealist" he sounds a bit put off by that, "no in general the populous doesn't know, mainly because the families of children who tried to kill themselves don't report. Plus the whole doctor patient privacy"

"I see" I say softly looking at my picture on the wall; he looks up at my picture too.

"You do look a lot like her" he says, "my wife agrees with me, but there is something in your eyes, and in the way you hold yourself that is unlike Crane. She was wild, unpredictable and rebellious. You my dear seem to be very focused on your job; I was wondering do you ever wish to practice privately?"

This is a strange question to ask a doctor in victor's hall, "no sir, I never thought of it"

"You would do well to think about it, you're talented Dr. Sparrow"

I don't attend his functions even after we had that talk in victor's hall. The thing that causes me to rush to his mansion is a panicked Arora on the phone.

Her grandmother just collapsed to the side. They don't know what is going on.

When I get there they have her in bed, she looks weak and one of her eyelids is drooping.

Stroke.

There is already an emergency team taking care of her bundling her up to take her to the hospital. Arora is standing in the doorway with me her face planted firmly on my shoulder crying.

"She just started slurring words" she says, "and then I asked her to pass me a glass and when she tried to reach it her arm wouldn't move, so I called emergency"

"You did the right thing" I reassure her, "where is your grandfather"

"Who knows!" she cried dejectedly, "he doesn't stay in the house long, he rather be out gaining supporters. I hope he finds out some horrible way, let him suffer"

I shush her as Victoria is wheeled out on a stretcher. They say they have her so I remain at the mansion with the granddaughter.

We sit and drink scalding hot tea; despite the weather it comforts frayed nerves.

"Can we talk about something?" she finally asks, "anything! So I don't think about granma getting her head shaved and her brain poked"

"Sure" I say, "what of?"

"Hypotherticals" she looks at me, "let's talk about Ariana"


	32. Hypothetical to Reality

**Athor's Note: **Short one today **1)** thanks to my reviewers **JB, Arrow, Wren, **and** THG**

**2)** to quote Brian Jacques author of the Redwall series, "Cluney the Scourge wasn't a rat because he was evil he was evil because he was a rat" :D

Chapter 32

Hypothetical to Reality

I put down my mug and look at her.

"Why her?" I ask, "most girls your age are all about Finnick"

She looks at me squarely, "I'm not most girls" she says, "most girls don't try and kill themselves to make a statement"

I smirk, "no I guess not, so why the fascination with Crane?"

"She was just…" Arora sighs, "I grew up watching the games and she was the first one I remember actually saving a tribute" she says, "I mean she didn't seem to see the games as what they are, she played her own rules in there"

"She was something wasn't she" I reply, "what got to me was that fellow she was with in the beginning" I let it hang

"Farrow?" she asks, "my god if he hadn't died I am sure he would have taken everyone down and then found a way to off himself" she chuckles, "she inspired Castiel actually"

"Really" I look at her surprised, and a nod is returned

"He says that if the Capitol actually learned anything in those games is that free will wins out. Maverick wouldn't have saved her if she hadn't saved him" she adds.

"Twice" I tag on and she looks at me a glimmer of thought races across her face at that

"Right she saved him from exposure first then Jade" she says and I nod, "but my question is why? Why save someone, she didn't save Nina"

"You did see that huge snake right?" I ask, "maybe she knew something, maybe at the cornucopia she was outnumbered, I mean all little kids are prime targets"

She smirks, "actually I didn't see the snake, the camera shot they used in the broadcast didn't show their feet"

Crap!

I feel myself grow pale, I'm found out, not by Snow, not by Victoria but a rebel in their midst.

She nudges the corners, "don't worry when grandfather leaves I shut off the surveillance. You're safe, I always do since I have Castiel over when I'm alone and they still don't know I do" she leans back a knowing smile on her face, "and Grandfather doesn't put hidden bugs in the common living areas. So….you did fake your death"

I clear my throat.

"Ok fair enough don't explain it, answer me this, why are you here of all places" she looks at me, "you gonna off my grandfather? If so I wouldn't mind seeing that"

"if I could I would, but no, I'm here solely on an intel gathering mission" I look at her, "when did you know exactly, and don't say just now, you knew before"

She looks uncomfortable, "I had my suspicions, it was the reaping that gave the most information, district twelve, with the Mellark boy"

"Peeta" I tell her, there is uncomfortable silence, "so you going to turn me in?"

She cocks an eyebrow; "no Ariana, I'm going to help you" she stands up, "you want intel on what?"

I blink, "I think it's too dangerous for you to have dealings in this"

"I'm three years older than you kiddo, I think grandfather's wrath is something I can deal with" we walk out onto the patio, "I can help but you have to do something for me"

I look at her gauging her, "what exactly"

She sighs, "I want you to tell my grandfather than granma can't live in the Capitol anymore, that its due to stress and the games that caused the stroke, not just the unhealthy lifestyle they have"

"You want me to lie" I tell her, "to the president"

"I want you to save my family from a grandfather's neglect" she looks at me, "I want to take her away, maybe to district four we have a place out there near the beach. She loves it there, Castiel said he'd come with us, so she'd be looked after. But grandfather won't let her go unless he knew it wasn't good for her to live here"

I am quiet, this would solve a lot of problems very quickly, she wouldn't try and endanger her life anymore, her boyfriend would take her to a district I know has an easy going peacekeeper unit or at least I think it is. Plus Victoria would be well looked after. But it's risky, if she's caught…or if she turns coat on me…

"On the condition you do exactly as I say" I look at her, "I may be younger than you Arora, but remember I lived thru games that had people turning insane, I'm not stupid"

"No Ariana, you are everything but feeble minded. I will do what you want, just as long as you help me save my granma" she looks adamant, "I can't do that on my own, I know you would surely be able to get your information, you are clever but think of it this way….you're saving a family a load of heartache and making life ten times more easier for yourself"

I sigh and look away, "you had to bring up family" I mutter she catches it and places a hand on my shoulder

"Kiddo you are practically family the way granma has gone on about you" she smiles, "we have a deal?"

We lock eyes and I search for anything to argue against this, nothing comes to mind, and it means I can distance myself from Snow after so I don't inadvertently kill him.

I nod, "alright I will get you a devise to put his hardrive on and means to do so, once you do that I will get you and your granma out, Castiel will have to meet you"

I am taken aback by the hug she issues me, tight and secure and I feel dampness on my neck.

"You really are an angel" she says in my ear


	33. Little White Lies

**Author's Note: **Many thanks to my reviewers, **Wren, HL, THG,** and **Arrow.**

I am no doctor, so my apologies if anything here is untrue or misunderstood, keep in mind President Snow is even worse so….

Chapter 33

Little White Lies

I retrieve the components Ziggy had given me to completely copy and download the hardive. Since I'm no techy she made it simple, the computer just has to be on for the device to work, once it's done a light goes off. Problem is it takes an hour. When I explain that to Arora when we meet up later that day she says its easy, her grandfather is out of the house for the games until the final kid is crowned he spends a lot of his time in the game center or the viewing room meant for the well to do's who aren't sponsoring. He will be gone from dawn to dusk chumming it up with people.

He isn't though. But luckily he isn't at the house.

He's at the hospital pacing. His wife is in the stroke unit. I should really take control of her recovery but I decide I would be better getting this done. It will probably take a few attempts.

"President Snow?" I ask passing him as I come in for my round in early afternoon

He looks up, he looks worn out, "Dr. Sparrow" he says tiredly

"Did you sleep sir?" he shakes his head, "you won't do any good to anyone like that"

"I can't sleep, not when my wife just had a stroke and I wasn't around" he says, "how could this happen? She was healthy"

I sit down with him, "could be any factors really, poor nutrition, genetic predisposition, stress" I let it end there poignantly

"Stress?" he looks at me

"Yes, stress can cause any number of health problems" I explain to him, "high blood pressure, eating disorders, behavioral"

"Will she recover?" he asks

I shrug, "it's early days, she should, the group here is well trained, but again we don't talk full recovery it all depends on the severity"

He groans and puts his hands to his face, guilt is written so clearly on him, I would twist the knife further but before I put this last piece in place I want my part of the deal kept up.

"If you leave me a number I can reach you President Snow I can call you when she is allowed visitors, you must be busy with the games" I tell him

He shakes his head, "I should be here, when she wakes"

"It could be a while" I tell him

He shrugs.

I do my rounds, its late evening and finally he is allowed to sit by her side. I never seen such loyalty. I feel a pang of guilt but then I remind myself that he cares for one person and he has neglected her and her wishes long enough. My pager goes off and when I read it the display reads

**Got it!**

She did it, she made the copy. My turn to keep my end of the bargain.

First, Dr. Jerico. He is head of this unit.

We meet and I explain my view of things. The old doctor nods appreciatively. His chalk white hair cleanly combed back and his goatee neatly trimmed. He smiles.

"you really do care about her don't you?" he asks, "I'm surprised you take such interest in patients Sparrow" he mulls it over, "I do think getting away from the Capitol might be a step in the right direction and you can't get any better than district four as a place to rest." He looks at me my gaze earnest, "what is your interest?"

"She reminds me of the old lady that took care of me growing up, I couldn't help her but I can help Victoria recover peacefully" I explain

"We can do that here though" he says

"She needs peace, and from what I see the Capitol isn't all that peaceful lately" I return as he starts to slide away from my point of view, "she has family that stays in Four, she will be well looked after"

He nods, "fine, I will write that in her dossier, but you have to convince President Snow, because he won't like hearing he has to abandon his wife."

"He doesn't like much" I say sadly, which gets a grimace of agreement by the old doctor.

Snow is sitting by her side. She looks frailer than before. Her head is bandaged and she's hooked up to monitors. But she's alive, not awake yet but alive.

I clear my throat and he looks up. I gesture him to come with me and he actually agrees giving his wife a clearly worried glance.

"I've been talking with Doctor Jerico, he agrees with me about some things" I say finally as we pour glasses of water, "we believe she would do much better if she could get away from the Capitol for a while, to recover"

"We can't leave, I'm President my job is here" he says, I was afraid of that

"I can agree she could be treated here but I would think you'd have her welfare at heart sir" I look at him evenly, "what she needs is peace and she can't get that here, not with you and your granddaughter at each other. Not with the games all the stress of parties and hosting on her shoulders, I would strongly suggest otherwise"

He looks put out over this, I can figure a bit, he doesn't want to let her go, "I think I will go against medical advice then"

I nod, "I understand your reluctance, plus it might mean you won't see her for a while, unless you visit her. I just hope what you do is right for her, she deserves it, she deserves to recover in calm, and secure surroundings, not being hounded by people"

He looks at me his beady eyes searching me out, "why are you so concerned about my family's well being?" he asks

"She treated me like family, her and your granddaughter" I reply, "I feel she deserves the best, and right now the best is not in the Capitol, you have the means to get her a private nurse to help in her physio, you have a place out in district four so I hear. One of the calmest places anyone can think of…plus you are President you can go to districts unhindered by restrictions"

He mulls it over. "we shall see" he says, "until then she remains here"

I nod it's the best I can do. I layed enough guilt and logic that if I am right he will be sending her with Arora to Four to stay with his daughter and her husband. I turn to leave.

"Dr. Sparrow?" he calls after me and I turn, "thank you"

I nod again and leave.


	34. The Ignorance of a Population

**Author's Note: **Well, some people are pitying Cori, some think this is TGTBT (too good to be true), all I can say is blood is thicker than water and why would he suspect his own granddaughter even if they were at odds they both loved Victoria in their own way….right?

Thanks go to my reviewers as always: **Quinn, HL, ****THG, **and** KL10X  
**

Chapter 34

The Ignorance of a Population

Three days later I get a call from a very happy sounding Arora. My words hit paydirt.

"We are heading out after the games are over, grandfather will help set up the beach house where my family will stay and I am gonna let Castiel know later on!" she pauses slightly out of breath from excitement, "thank you! God thank you Dr. Sparrow!"

Ah this is being taped, she let slip Castiel but he is known to Snow and his wife.

"It was my pleasure" I reply

"I have to repay you" she says

"It's okay I'm just doing my job" I reply

"I insist! Can you meet me at café Fiora?"

We meet and she hugs me like I will disappear.

"Thank you Ari" she whispers in my ear

We sit and she passes me a wrapped gift box, "open it later when you get home okay?" she looks at me pointedly and I nod, its heavy and I know whats inside.

"I hope you like it" she adds

"I think I will" I smile, "how is your grandfather?"

"coping" she says, "granma can utter words but they are muffled and a bit mushed together but Nurse Mina says it will improve, we just have to give it time. Castiel will be heading to four before the tour starts"

I smile, "I wish you all the best" I tell her, I want you to keep in touch. I write my address on a coaster and pass it to her. "write as often as you want"

She nods and does likewise. "if we can do anything for you, all you have to do is ask"

"I'll remember that" I tell her as we get back up she gives me a final hug and leaves.

I get to my apartment and open the box.

It's a book.

A book? But where is the drive I gave her? And books aren't that…

Heavy…she wouldn't have defaced a book would she?

I open up and riffle thru it.

Sure enough around a hundred pages in she has cut away and fitted the drive into the book. Smart girl.

I put on my jamming device so whatever I do will be undercover of distorted readings, just in case this lets off a signal.

I plug it into my laptop and boot it up.

I though it would be easy.

It's never easy…

**Password** shows up on the screen and I curse to myself.

What were the most common passwords? I rack my brain until I remember writing them down in my sketchbook.

I try them all…

Nothing!

Finally I resort to the decriptor Ziggy gave me. I really don't want to but I have no choice. It will have to be used overnight; it takes that long to crack a password if you aren't a technical prodigy.

I sigh to myself, tomorrow is my day off anyway. Worth it so I don't kill myself trying to break into his hardrive.

I fall asleep; I have nightmares of Snow now attacking his own family. It was too perfect, how he let them go, how he will let them live away from the capital.

But then again, they are _his_ family. He has to trust them right?

The next morning I check my computer, a chill runs down my spine.

**Password recovery complete **it reads then underneath:

SNOWSTRUSTNO1

The welcome screen appears when I press 'enter'. I don't know whether to be happy of troubled by his nature and thinking he can't trust anyone at all.

I copy all the files to my laptop. So I don't have to lock it anymore. My password is strong enough for this.

I decide to examine some files. See what exactly we could use to take him down.

I wish I hadn't.

Files on every living victor are in this computer. And their loved ones. And close friends.

Peeta…his family are attached to my file! But there is a document that is my death certificate with a note saying all information therein is now worthless since I am declared dead. My heart begins to beat again.

Something catches my eye. Actually several things do.

One folder read "T of T" when I open it there is a document that reads "treaty of treason" and another reads "treaty of treason revised"

I feel sick after reading it. The games were never meant to last this long! The original document that was signed by a President Valor states it will run for twenty five years. The amount of weeks the uprising took. The final year being the quell was supposed to be a final bloodbath and then the games were to end.

The revised version omits that paragraph and instead says it will run eternally. There was only supposed to be one quell! Haymitch was never supposed to enter the fiftieth.

Another document titled "quells"

Only two are there right now

Q1: voted by district

Q2: twice the amount of tributes

Q3: (is blank)

All the way to Q100 are all blank. He was making a list of what the quells would be.

Sick evil horrifying man! I want to scream, cry, and throw the whole thing out the window.

All those kids! Dead for nothing but his enjoyment! His greed, his lust for power!

I go and wash my face and see my eyes are bloodshot and puffy from crying.

I know I can blame a lot on the games, say my favorite tribute died.

Can't for long though, last I checked they were nearing the end.


	35. Passage of Time

**Author's Note: **Hello all! Well you'd think if she did her job she would head back, but that's not how our girl works….

Thanks go to my reviewers! **Quinn, Wren, HL **and** THG**

Chapter 35

Passage of Time

With the games over and the victor off back to ten, I reminisce about how I felt.

Empty, alone, despite being surrounded.

She must have it just as rough if more. She killed more than I did and it wasn't out of mercy. Some out of self preservation or nerves but still…its never easy taking a life.

I get a letter from Arora not long after they leave. Stating they have settled and that Victoria is improving being away from the stress of the Capitol.

At least there is that.

Going thru the hard drive takes up the majority of my time. The deeper I go the more I feel sick with regret. I wish Seneca knew what I knew; I wish a lot of people knew what I knew.

The games end and things get back to a low hum of the occasion upperclassman coming in thinking he is dying when it's just a mild case of food poisoning, or indigestion. Barely anyone really gets sick.

Gives me time to get used to being in the capitol finally. They have so much to see and do and enjoy and I doubt they realize it.

Back in five when I was little my favorite place was the small library we had. Nothing prepares me for the one of the capitol. Sadly the reaction I get from the curator-librarian tells me not many people come in. Let alone to get a library card, and head for the multimedia section.

Old movies, old music, even the complete series of hunger games are in this place. With work being so slow and Church saying I can take a vacation and just keep my beeper on the capitol library becomes my second home.

I can't help being a bookworm. They cost the least amount of energy, they don't run out of batteries and they are portable.

If I could I would find a way to take the multimedia back with me.

I say there was the complete volume of hunger games. I lied. I had started watching them to understand what the appeal was, zipping thru the more gruesome deaths. But mine, the 69th are no where to be seen.

I ask the librarian and she says those are not in their directory. Only on special request can that one be viewed.

Was it that moving? Was it that controversial?

I had thought I would be the only one in this place of research but I was wrong.

It happens when I change tactics in my research and start looking at Panem law, as much as I enjoy medical books, Makenzie had more talent, I'm good but I am better at interpreting things than getting my hands bloody. Plus it gives me a lot of insight into how things really work.

Right before the tour someone who looks vaguely familiar comes in. It takes me a while, because without makeup and the violet from my games I wouldn't know it to look at him.

Caesar Flickerman, I can't believe it. He comes to a library? He seems so different calm. No big smile just a modest one as he has a coffee and a paper under his arm.

"Evening Irene" he says, "same ol' same ol'?"

"Actually slightly busier than normal, I have a regular other than you now" she replies.

"Oh? Well that's new" he put his paper on the counter and leans in to talk to her, he has ashy grey hair so that explains the coloring each year.

"Yeah a doctor from St. Augustines" she says, "don't bother her though Caesar, she seems to want to keep to herself, think of her as a cat, she will come if you let her be"

"My dear Irene I wouldn't dream of bothering a fellow academic" he says in his own flourishing way, "I'll be in my usual place" he picks up his paper and leaves.

That was both strange and yet somehow comforting, my old friend with a normal persona. Guess everyone has a face for public and one for private here.

The Capitol has snow, but it's not terribly cold like District Twelve. I bundle up and head for a park. I end up helping some kids build a snowman for fun. My heart aches something awful after though, I can't understand it. It's not medical, then I realize that I was once their age, carefree. I lost that when I was in the games, that innocence. Finnick probably lost his childhood too.

Yule comes and goes. With barely anything warranting my explicit attention. I miss home the most around this time, of my friends and my eclectic family.

Snow melts to muddy puddles and the first sprigs from tulips appear, spring has come.

I realize in a few months I will be eighteen and I would be in my second to last reaping, because although I would have been 18 during the games I would be eighteen for the games following too.

My research on the drive upsets me so much and I realize that letting Coin know everything is a recipe for disaster. She would take this information and go headlong and so many people, innocent people, will die because she is as bad as Snow. I take out my notes from Ziggy and painstakingly begin to encrypt these files; I will be the only one that can unlock them. Well me or Ziggy. Because she could if need hack the capitol bank without a single person knowing. Knowing my buggy eyes friend she will understand why these files are dangerous in the wrong hands. I only hope that prior to anyone looking at these files I have a chance to explain them. From the treaty revisal, the back files on victors, and the worst of all.

How he would keep an insurrection from taking his power away.

**Author's Note #2:** stay tuned! guess what games is next? *evil grin* XD


	36. Reaping of a Friend

**Author's Note: **Happy holidays everyone! It's a day early yes, because personally I think everyone should be with their families on Christmas day, and not stuck in front of a computer so yeah another of my one offs!

This is the benchmark…12 chapter left of this story people! I gave the tributes names; I didn't know their official names so yeah…

Thanks go to my reviewers, **Wren, HL **and** Quinn**

Chapter 36

Reaping of a Friend

As the games approach I expect to get the first influx of what Church calls the 'bleeding heart brigade'. The first young adults that go thru the cries for the games to end. Sure enough we get a handful just before the reaping.

It's the 74th, five years since mine. Three since my 'death'. Thankfully I do not get invited to Snow's mansion and I end up staying at my place alone to watch the reaping.

The career Districts of One, Two and Four as always have volunteers entering the arena this year; Finnick was a rare volunteer at fourteen. One boy in two only addresses himself as Cato; he gets thunderous applause from his fellow academy volunteers…a likely winner. Clove his female counterpart looks like a drowned rat. Small and skinny with a pinched face.

When we get to district five I notice Trace giving Jack a kiss just before joining her brother on the podium, he had placed a hand on her belly. My god is she pregnant? My friend is going to have a child. I can't help but smile to myself, at least she seems happy and Tracker seems calm if not overjoyed. But Tracker barely shows emotion on a good day.

Lilian Finch a girl that is so weasley faced I automatically pin her as a snob from the markets. Her counter part is Lowel Hermanos. Non descript, automatically the mentor part of me that I never truly got rid of tells me Lowel won't last all that long, and I highly doubt Lilian is gonna listen to what Track and Trace have to tell them. Sadly I write them off in my head.

I go and make myself something to eat; I make tea for the final districts and sit on my couch.

The boy from eleven looks a lot like Farrow in height but not in demeanor; whereas my lost friend had this warmth to his eyes Thresh looks mutinous. His twelve year old counterpart Rue looks like a bird ready to take flight with her bright eyes and the tipping onto her toes to look taller than she is. Maybe she is trying to see her family for the last time.

Nothing. And I do mean absolutely nothing prepares me for district twelve.

I am in the midst of washing my dishes when I hear it on my television.

"I VOLUNTEER!" a girl cries for Primrose Everdeen.

Hold on Everdeen…

Oh no….

I race to the television to see a small blond girl being carted off by Gale who is eighteen and has becomes quite the looker. Of course I don't react to it, the back on my mind tells me the crush I have is a hunk, but ninety percent of my being is thinking

'Don't do it Peeta…don't volunteer'

"What is your name dear?" Their escort Effie Trinket asks, I close my eye in regret because when she says her name is Katniss I can almost anticipate what's going to happen next.

Peeta…but he doesn't volunteer Effie goes to the boys bowl and picks out a name

His name.

I drop the soapy plate I was holding to the floor as I see my sixteen year old friend stunned faced look to his left and right and then get escorted to the stage.

'Not him! Please why him?!' I think panicked

Surely Seneca will remember him, try to save him? He wouldn't be so spiteful and cold to forget his dead sister's friend.

He seems to set his face solidly, squaring his shoulders and jaw shaking hands with the girl he has had a crush on since I have known him. She shares none of his acknowledgement, barely a flicker…

I guess he never did speak to her.

The show ends and I immediately take out my communicator and jamming device.

'_I'm sorry people, I have to break cover'_ I tap in

'_You can't'_ is my response, '_not until info is delivered, (_there is a pause_) we are so sorry Ari…'_

I throw my communicator at the wall; it's quite durable and doesn't break. I end up throwing dishes at the wall in frustration.

When I finally calm down my brain starts to work again. I have to plan; I have to get Peeta out of there! It's then that my phone rings.

I get up feeling completely at a loss.

"Lexis?" its Plutarch…how did he know where I was staying? "Were you watching? Of course you were! A volunteer in Twelve can you believe that? If we could get her"

"I have my own problems Plutarch" I reply, "unless you want to discuss him I won't discuss her"

There is a pause, "right…sorry…we'll have to see, I'm on Crane's team this year I'll keep you informed"

I slam the phone down and cover my face to cry quietly. Peeta can't win, I saw Cato, I saw Thresh, he's small compared to them, they'll flay him alive!

Unless…He did have a way of reading things from people without them uttering a word. If he could figure out his competition. Form some alliances…then I remember his gaze, I know what that look was.

It was what he gave me when I left…I realize he will do everything in his power to protect Katniss.

To save him I have to save her.


	37. Watching and Waiting

**Author's Note: **feel free to leave questions guys I really don't mind!

Thanks go to my reviewers: **Arrow **(x2)**, JB, 'Guest', Quinn, Wren **and** HL**

Chapter 37

Watching and Waiting

I call Plutarch the moment I have a free minute at work using the outside block on the locker room's phone line.

"Plutarch, you said you wanted to save her?"

He sounds stunned, "yes…so you are going to help me?"

"In a way, I need you to get the best stylists, I mean really good, Darwin good" I reply

"Y'know I did get an application this morning" he says, "I was going to give them Two but they are insisting on Twelve"

"Do it" I say, "I am working on a plan"

"Can I know what this plan is?" he asks I can hear his eagerness and we don't need eagerness…right now we need finesse...and Peeta to use his brain.

"No, not yet, just do as I ask" I say, "if everything works then we will get both out"

"Both?" he asks and I hang up the phone

Yes both.

* * *

"You want to apply to work with the games emergency team?" Church looks up from her desk and paperwork, "why?"

"You have a new resident in emergency, and from what we talked about over the holidays they usually get the 'brigade' work, and Drimmel retired last year" I explain, John Drimmel was in charge of the emergency team in case the victors were extremely ill or injured he would patch them up before transport to the hospital or en route if need be, and if the tribute was in a real bad way he was allowed to take the case himself. If Peeta lives thru this I want him to have an ally in his recovery…and that's a big if right now. They should be hitting the capitol today midday. If Plutarch does his job then Peeta will be getting the equivalent to Darwin, him and his girl.

"I don't see why not, although you only work that halfway thru the games until then-" she starts

"Until then I will walk the newbie thru her paces I know" I finish her sentence

As stoic as my boss is her face cracks into a smirk as she waves me off and goes back to her paperwork.

* * *

I can't do much. I watch the parade tonight and I have to say whoever the stylists are that Plutarch assigned they have definitely made an impression. However Peeta did something more than what anyone would expect.

He took her hand and held it over their heads. Flames licking at them, bright and dangerous and wild. Yet the unity is akin to Tracer and Oliver. He will die for her despite her coolness to him, despite all that, my friend loves her dearly.

The phone rings and thankfully my line is always secure.

"Well done Plutarch they made an impression" I say calmly

"How did you know it was me? It could have been Snow, or your boss" he sounds startled

"Church doesn't call, she pages, and the president would rather not speak to me on friendly terms since his wife has gone to live a slightly more peaceful life in Four after her stroke." I explain

"Oh…I see…so what's the next step?" he asks eager to help

"I don't know yet, we can't do much until the games, we just have to hope the stylists know what they are doing and Haymitch can train them well" I reply

"Will you be needing me?" he asks

"I need your eyes in the training, and let me know what they do, what they are learning, pay attention to both of them Plutarch" I emphasize

"Right" he hangs up.

Flickerman has his specials but I tend to ignore them. I get paged a lot by Church and the new resident. Mostly Church because of the new resident, with Peeta's holding hand stunt it seemed to cause an upsurge of attempts and Jaqueline is just barely keeping her head above water. I walk into emergency with purpose and she is beside me within seconds. We are almost the same age if I was my real self but to them I'm twenty-two.

"They just don't stop coming in" she says getting wound up, "we're running out of space in ICU, and emergency! What happened?! I haven't had a chance to see what is going on with the games; the parade must have been upsetting"

"On the contrary, it was moving but not to the point of upsetting people" I reply

"Then what?" she asks

"It showed hope" I reply and we dive into the storm.


	38. Training Misdemeanor

**Author's Note: **at work today I realized our young lady would be the same age as the Careers! o.O imagine her and Cato standing off if he was threatening Peeta? Daymn! (lol, just kidding or am I? you will never know, or you will only later), or what if she met Cato when they were 14? You think they would have made a cute pair? Do you think if Cato knew a gentle soul he wouldn't have been so competitive? (is this kinda like "if you knew Hitler when he was a toddler would you kill him?" question)

Enough teasing! I want to thank my reviewers and send you all back into the reading right?

So! Thanks go my three reviewers of last chapter **Pandora6373** (new reader people welcome her!), **HL **and** Arrow, **(also a notable mention to Zorox, who pm-ed me...)

Chapter 38

Training Misdemeanor

I finally finish encrypting my entire research. Including some very upsetting and controversial pieces of data. I put a time delay, and then Ziggy will start to hack my data.

She trained me well.

I take a day off to send this thru my secured line to a series of bumping stations that will keep any hackers off its trail. Three hours later my communicator goes off.

'_Got the data stream. Very large! Good work report back ASAP'_

I reply:

'_Sorry my mission is complete for you guys now I have something to do' _I send it off.

I don't expect anymore communiqué so I turn my cuff off and stuff it at the bottom of my bag. I know Maverick, Ken, Ziggy and Makenzie will understand. And to be honest they are the only ones I feel are worth my time.

I am off duty for 13 as of now.

Ziggy will know why I encrypted the stream and know not to get into it until I report back.

When that will happen I do not know. It all depends on two things.

Or namely two sixteen year olds.

The training week takes an eternity when you want to know what is going on.

Plutarch fills me in daily.

They don't train with weapons, Peeta tries his hand at climbing but he is not doing all that great. He is brilliant at the camouflage though. So says my eyes on the inside.

He did however show a bit of temper; with the careers snickering he had taken one of the heavy weights and thrown it over handed at one of the weapon displays. Red faced and frustrated looking he had stared them down. This was after Katniss had whispered something to him.

I wish I could be there, cheer him on, but I have to wait. Maybe he will be lucky form a strong alliance. He is very approachable, and with his show of strength to the careers he might get at least a little respect and not be picked off at the cornucopia.

Thinking of that bloody day I start to think of the games after I won. I try and remember if any District Twelve tribute fell there. I rack my brain remembering watching the episodes in the library and it occurs to me most didn't die at the horn since I had disappeared. They had all scarpered but died either from eating something they shouldn't have or come face to face with careers later on. So maybe Haymitch has been telling them to quit the horn as soon as the gong sounds.

Smart move.

I've been so focused on my blond boy that I forget his counterpart.

Katniss, the face she had on the chariot made me think of someone putting on a show. She didn't want to be there. She was playing for the crowd only. The smile was a bit forced her posture seemed stiff.

This was a girl ready for war.

No wonder Plutarch wanted her. She had a face a rebel could get behind, I'm too open to willing, I have the head of a rebel but a heart of a pacifist.

Of course she could play the part but we'd have to pull her strings, show her the way.

I know she is a fighter for certain when a sputtering and trembling Plutarch comes to my apartment.

He looks a bit pale. His hands shiver as I offer him a cup of tea to calm his nerves.

"Heavensbee what the hell happened?" I ask concerned, I don't quite like the guy because he wants so much from us younger generation but when he looks at me he looks shaken.

"She shot at us" he says

I raise my eyebrows to him, "she shot at you? Personally?" he shakes his head, "okay then at what"

"We had suckling pig"

"She shot the pig?" I smirk, "maybe she was hungry" I try and joke

He shakes his head, "she had missed the target dummy with a bow and arrow, so we were going to write her off with an eight, then she…she shoots the apple" he looks at me, "I fell into a punchbowl as Marguerite lept back into me! I ruined my best suit!" he looks at me confused when I have burst out laughing, "what the hell is wrong with you? I'm scared to my wits end she's dangerous!"

I calm slightly, wipe a tear of mirth from my eye, "she isn't dangerous, she is exactly what you need, she's is the embodiment of rebellion, she will not be ignored, she was getting your attention!"

"Well Seneca gave her eleven" he wipes his sweaty brow, "at least when you were there you hit the dummy"

"Trust me if I had more guts the game makers would have seen something they were going to eat be harpooned, that is if they had ignored me too" I reply taking his empty mug. "go on and head to the party I have to watch the interviews" I say

"I can stay" he offers, and as much as I wouldn't mind the company I refuse. He nods sadly and leaves. I can't really stand him since he said my brother's name. I know I am off mission now, but I still don't want to let him know I am here and alive. He doesn't act like my brother anymore. When he was interviewed he seemed to be reading a script. There was no spark in his eyes. If there is it's probably dulled in the two years he has thought I was dead.

The interviews are on late and I curl up on my couch to watch. I can pick off the 'theme' the stylists have and how the teens are acting.

District one is arrogant, and more for looks than anything, Marvel tries to be charming but he is humoring himself more than anyone. Glimmer is flighty and bubbly but lacks attraction.

Cato and Clove from two are hardened and direct. Cato especially with saying he will make District Two proud. I can hear Maverick groan back in Thirteen as the self-importance rolls off this pair.

District Three seem to talk about how they will do their best. Beetee probably coached them to be honest because they bring up how they won't know what they have to work with until they hit the arena.

District Four's pair are charming enough, with Finnick as their mentor I'm not surprised by this. They do seem to force it a bit but good ol' Caesar manages to steer them properly thru the quick Q and A.

My district is pompous. Especially Lilian, saying her intellect will steer her decisions. Did Tracer train her at all? Or is Lilian that stuck up. I know Logan was way back.

I look at the tributes and can figure who will last past the horn.

It's how they talk, how they act.

Confidence.

District Eight, Nine and Ten have little.

District Eleven has a healthy amount as Thresh and his diminutive partner Rue demonstrate.

God Rue is my size in my games, small, fast and eager to run. She swings her feet from the chair edge innocently as her and Caesar share a tete a tete.

Thresh on the other hand is a 'one-word' kinda guy. Not at all open but he definitely shows he is not messing around.

Finally Twelve, Katniss looks a bit uncomfortable. She probably doesn't know how to react to such an audience. Dear Caesar sets her up and she reacts pretty well considering she feels daunted. She shows off her dress, spinning to let the light catch the gems, it's more subtle than the escapade on the chariot but the flames are still licking at her heels. The mood changes and takes a somber note at the end, when they talk of Primrose, how Katniss will win for her. She has a reason to live, to get back to her family.

She leaves and Peeta is last up. It's like he was born for this. He expertly takes command of the interview with friendly casual banter, joking and bringing up the showers, and then asking if he still smells of roses. I giggle, despite how dire the situation feels to me he is still managing to joke and play with this. His reason doesn't come up until Caesar asks about him having a girl; he blushes bashfully and shakes his head.

"Handsome boy like you I don't believe that!" Caesar replies

Peeta clears his throat gently, "well there is one girl, but I don't think she knew I existed until I was reaped"

There is a groan of understanding from the crowd, but when Caesar offers the idea of winning and getting back to her he shakes his head.

I don't believe this, he's gonna do it?

He's putting Katniss in the center ring, it's what I called the tribute that gets the most attention from sponsors, Johanna had it, Tracer had it….

Now Katniss

"She came here with me" he says sadly

Crap

The hospital will be flooded.


	39. Peeta What Have You Done?

**Author's Note: **_**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**_ To all my readers and their loved ones a very prosperous new year and many glad tidings!

Second note: Nine chapters remain people! That's right we are in a single digit countdown now!

Third note: I decided to play this a bit by ear because we really don't know how Peet got in with Cato's lot so I took some liberty.

Forth and final note this chapter: Thanks go to my reviewers! **Pandora, HL, Wren, Arrow** and 'guest' (_also Z who does so thru PM_)

Chapter 39

Peeta What Have You Done?

The chatter at work has reached unthinkable levels, with the launch this midday the influx of bleeding hearts has increased. And it's not just the usual over-doses.

Capital citizens distraught about the star-crossed lovers are near inconsolable.

"How can this be happening?" they ask

"This is unfair!" they cry then sob into my lab coat.

Our head psychiatrist prescribes tranquilizers and antidepressants in reams. I am sure he is carbon copying and just signing them as he goes.

The shift change is a godsend as I pass the baton to Brian my fellow resident and Mary-Lee the other newbie.

Jaqueline bids me a good afternoon and leaves in a hurry.

I head for my apartment and turn on the tv, forgetting tea, forgetting food. The next couple days are critical. If Peeta can stay in this for at least three days we have a chance.

It's a small chance right now but with each day…if Haymitch does his job….

The gong sounds and Katniss dashes but I keep my eye on Peeta. He runs for the woods at first and keeps to the tree line to wait. I don't know for what. He is keeping his eye out for anyone trying to attack him and he watches as Katniss -backpack with embedded knife in hand-goes racing further down.

He runs back into the fray and sneaks a heavy spear.

And uses it on a tribute sneaking up on Cato, -true the boy was going to die anyway he has a several knife wounds already but the boy is determined to attack Cato from behind- the target falls at Cato's feet.

What. The. Hell?!

Peeta! He's aligning with careers?

When Cato turns and sees the boy from nine twitching and culvulsing with the spear in his back…and front he looks up to see Peeta breathless looking at him.

They nod to each other and he walks forward.

"What's your angle Lover boy?" Cato asks

"I don't like backstabbing" Peeta shrugs, "at least unless I am doing though" he smirks, he's a good actor because Cato nods.

"Nice shot" he says and Peeta nods thanks, "you do know we are out for your girl"

"She isn't my girl she made that very clear" he holds out his palms that were lightly bandaged, "threw me into a vase" he says, "you want help finding her?"

"You serious?" Cato looks unsure

"Look she doesn't give a damn about me why I should her?" Peeta argues

Cato nods, "I bet you know all her tricks" Peeta scoffs as if it were a joke

"'course I do we lived in the same district she's notorious" he replies

"Fine you help us find her and you're in" Cato holds out his hand and Peeta takes it

"But you cross us, and I will kill you…..slowly" Cato warns

I get paged, when I call Church she sounds exhausted.

"Well as of tonight you are off emergency and are on call for the games Lexis…are you sure about this?" she asks right off the bat

"I asked for it Dr. Church" I tell her, "I left notes for Jaqueline and Brian, they should be fine"

"Good luck kid" Church says and I can feel her smirk on the other end, "your pager number has been forwarded to the game center if they need you they will page you" and she hangs up.

They might not need me, but I will need them. I put on a kettle and order from the local bistro that happily delivers since I am just a block away.

I watch as my young friend goes off late into their night to hunt. I see his eyes as he falls to the back of the pack of eighteen year olds. There is a drop of disgust, I don't blame him. None of them are like Maverick was, they were careers from twelve years old I am sure.

I get a page, it's an automated message I receive when I call the number.

Welcoming me to the game center staff, explaining my role. And stating if I need to reach the game maker I go thru his liaison. I write all this information down.

Night one and I think a baker's dozen fall. The last ending with Peeta mercy killing a girl because Cato couldn't find the heart with a map. The camera follows him.

He kneels to the girl who is coughing blood looking at him pleading with him.

He has tears in his eyes, I want to consol him tell him he is doing right by the girl sending her off swiftly. He takes his knife and kills her. Then closing her eyes and waiting for the canon before heading back. Giving himself enough time to gather composure.

Little did he know Katniss was just above him seeing this whole exchange.

Day two and I don't know what has become of my brother but he attacks the tributes with fire. Peeta gets singed, Cato gets singed too.

Katniss gets the worst of it. I know that when she screeches and races to a lagoon.

A lagoon that is only meters from where the career pack is heading.

I want to say run! I bite my lip. Sure I have broken skin but she is clever and as soon as she spots them she is off like a crazed rabbit. Dashing between trees and up one like some wildcat.

Glimmer tries to shoot her down, and fails that. Katniss snatches the arrow from the tree waving it taughtingly. I can see she is in pain but masking it. Burns are not easily treated.

Cato tries to climb but I already see a flaw, he's too heavy to get to the height Everdeen is. He ends up falling but surprisingly no canon sounds…I guess they fixed that flaw in the trackers.

"Let's just wait her out" Peeta says, "she can't stay up there forever she's bound to come down eventually"

Cato orders for a fire and Peeta obliges as he takes a moment to glance up at his crush.

Some time during the evening a chute arrives for Everdeen with ointment for her burn. She is grateful I can tell. It's not until I see her look across the canopy to little Rue and the non verbal exchange that I catch a familiar noise.

Or rather noises. It's faint, and unless you have had experiences with them you wouldn't know it to see them.

A Tracker Jacker nest rest a branch or two over where Katniss was going to rest.

Rue does a sawing action and points down at the careers…is she serious?

She could kill them all! And her by accident. But up she climbs and as she sees them all in a dead sleep she starts to work at the branch.

She uses the anthem to hide her work as she keeps getting further thru the wood with the serated edge of the hunting knife.

As the anthem ends and the fallen are shown the branch falls.

And all hell breaks loose.

She is stung at least twice from what I can make out.

The hive with its thousands of drones bursts open and attacks the careers, Peeta included in the mess. Him, Cato, Clove and Marvel scatter but head for the river. Glimmer is stung the worst initially and the venom works fast.

I wonder if Seneca remembers what _that_ felt like. He was stung by tracker jackers on one of dad's outings he took us on. Dad and I covered outselves with our jackets but he was insane enough to poke a stick into the entrance to open it up and see what was inside.

I scoff…he must be remembering.

Katniss falls the last couple feet from the tree and wobbly makes her way to Glimmer now in the final thralls of the venom. She'll be dead in seconds; with so many stings disfiguring her she is barely recognizable. Katniss gets the bow and arrows from the dying girl just as the canon goes off and then starts to make her way back, the wrong way.

I hear him before I see him.

Peeta is running back to Katniss screaming for her to run away, to get as far away from Glimmer as she can. He's been stung as well there is a welt on his ear I can make out and I am sure he has others. He's frantic; the adrenalin is overriding the venom for now. He's frightened for her.

And I realize a second later why.

Cato bellows angrily, "Mellark! I am going to KILL YOU!"

"KATNISS RUN WILL YA!" Peeta is glaring at her and gives her a shove and she runs away…much like I did when I was fourteen with Maverick only he didn't shove me, and I wasn't drugged by tracker venom, I wonder how he is feeling seeing what happened to us replay with not friends but lovers instead.

The fight that ensues is ferocious, Peeta has a spear but Cato has a sword.

Swords win out almost always.

My friend gets a lick in, but it's a close range punch that leaves him vulnerable. He gets a few shallow cuts that with minor cleaning would heal…until that is…

Cato cut deeply into the outside of his thigh. Peeta howls in pain and blood pours out, he stumbles back grasping his leg as Clove catches up. She means to finish Peeta off but Cato stays her blade…

"Let him suffer" he says

They walk away as Peeta stumbles back, certain if he stayed there they would return to finish him off he leaves the clearing where Glimmer was just retrieved.

I feel tears run down my face. He's bleeding, he's hurt! And since he made that damned alliance no sponsor will touch him despite his love for Katniss. If anything they will side on her out of pity.

But he has an ally.

Me.


	40. Breaking Cover

**Author's Note: **Dear oh dear what to do? What to do?! I won't keep ya'll from the reading just gonna thank my reviewers: **Wren, Pandora, Arrow **and** HL **(and Z thru pm)

Onward!

Chapter 40

Breaking Cover

Peeta needs help that is a given.

I can't do anything on my own, again a given. I'm no sponsor, I am not a gamemaker nor am I a mentor.

It occurs to me I have them in my back pocket, waiting until I feel I can break cover. If only in the security of my apartment.

I send notes to Haymitch, Tracker , Tracer and finally Seneca. The last note burns me to write because seeing him while I feel vulnerable for my friend buried in the mud out by the bank of the river makes this even harder to pull off.

I get Plutarch to deliver the notes to outside sources who will then deliver them to the recipients.

_**Mentor POV (aka a combination of Haymitch, Tracker and Tracer…but from…)**_

_Tracker POV_

I watch as Lilian has snuck more food from the pyramid of supplies. She wasn't as resourceful as we had hoped and is relying very heavily on the supplies despite the danger of being blown sky high if she does a miss-step.

"I can't believe that girl" Tracer huffs sitting down, my glowing and pregnant sister was beyond angry when Lilian had said she didn't need to read some dead victor's journal. Despite it keeping Trace and Oli alive until the end.

"She's gonna get herself blown up" Haymitch comes over.

Tracer glares at him, "what do you want Abernathy" she grumbles

"Nothing sweetheart" he smirks but it falters, "sorry, I'm trying to make light of the situation, Peeta…" he takes a sip of his flask, "damned boy, will be dead soon anyway with that injury he got"

We are all quiet, if Ari is watching I worry, Peeta is dear to her.

"He was a special kinda guy to Ari, at least he'll be with her soon" Haymitch says, "if he couldn't get his love at least he'll have a friend right?"

Tracer gets weepy, damned hormones act on her faster than the tracker venom on the tributes.

"Easy Trace" I calm her down, "try not to think about it okay, get angry at Lilian again that made you feel better right?"

"Mr. Tracker?" Raul comes over, the barkeep that enjoyed our live wire's company, "I have messages for you and Miss Tracer and Mr. Haymitch" he hands three plain envelopes with our names on them.

I take them and hand them out, then read mine.

_Tracker, _

_Please come to my apartment. It's urgent._

_Dr. Sparrow_

"Who's Dr. Sparrow?" Haymitch asks

"Probably the medic on duty for the games" says Tracer who doesn't recognize Ariana's handwriting.

"Well we will head off when its time to settle for the night" I say to them, "meet you at Café Fiora" I look at them, it's the coffee shop close to the apartment complex she is living at.

They nod and we get back to work.

_Seneca POV_

I winced as Peeta gets injured, and he is one of my primary concerns. I remember when he was writing to Ari, about talking to girls. About the bakery. If my sister knew what was happening to him I am sure she would be livid, and murderous against me.

I sit at the head chair watching the screens as Katniss and Rue head off together in an alliance that is only going to end in misery. I think that teenager sees her little sister in that kid, that is only a year shy of when Ariana was in the games.

God.

Five years.

Has it been that long? It feels like no time has passed, I can still feel my heart race when I remember her name being plucked out of hundreds. True we were at a disadvantage then. We always were.

I wish I could do something to honor her memory. I want to save Peeta for her, but I can't play favorites it has to play out despite my heart aching for him. I never met him in person. Ariana had and her first meeting had brought some of the light back in her being.

When I head home Vesta is at my apartment door.

"Don't tell me Snow wants to talk to me?" I ask

"No" she smirks, "but I have something for you" she hands an envelope to me with my name printed. "don't ask me what's in it okay? I was given it by someone who was given it by someone" she shrugs, "anyway I have to get going I'm meeting a friend at a café" she smiles and pecks me on the cheek, "try and cheer up okay we can't have a game maker with such a sour look all the time"

I am drawn by the message I only manage a "yeah"

_Mr. Crane,_

_I would like to speak to you on urgent matters. Please come to my apartment after the tributes are asleep._

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. Lexis Sparrow._

Urgent matter? What can she mean?

I heard her name being used by the President's assistant once in a while. When president Snow had fell ill earlier this year they had urged him to call her, she did help him with his family but he had flat out refused.

But here I am at her door. Despite my trepidation and the knot that is forming in my stomach. I had passed Tracker, Tracer and Haymitch at Café Fiora; they didn't give me even the most chaste of glances. I kinda feel the same. The rift between us is impossible to bridge now that my sister is gone.

'Come on Seneca suck it up!' I chastise myself I can hear dad in my head telling me that fear is no option for Crane men despite that he told me to not go camping ever again after my fall off the cliff. He still is here in my heart, and he is my worst conscious.

I take a breath.

I knock on the door.

I hear foot steps, very light. Then the door opens.

Robin egg blue eyes meet mine, identical in color to mine. Crane colored eyes.

I stop myself from saying the name that is fighting to come out.

She looks like my sister! Like Ariana…older, more mature and hardened but still…

She welcomes me in. Opens something that looks like Vesta's compact, presses a series of buttons and I hear a series of beepings then she nods and shuts it.

"Right, you are going to save Peeta Mellark" she says matter-of-factly.

I blink. What did she just do? Did this person just order me around? I am a game maker!

I get agitated, I don't take orders well.

"And why should I do what a ghost is telling me?" I ask bitterly

She stares at me, her eyes bore into mine, as cool and as icy as I can make mine when annoyed.

"Because I risked my life to protect you Seneca" she says, "not so you could have a goofy beard and plastered down hair"

Dear god

"Ariana?" I take her in my arms letting a few tears drop from my eyes, my sister is alive and barking orders at me…I couldn't be happier.

_Ari POV_

His shock is palpable, when I let that bombshell drop Seneca in all his finery seems to revert to the boy I remember. My brother.

I don't react grandly to my true name being uttered. My slightest of nods has me in his arms a split second after.

I mutter "idiot" but hold onto him as tightly as he is me.

I feel a tear hit my head. "you were dead" he says softly, "they found so much blood! I thought…where have you been?!"

"District thirteen" I tell him and ignore the confused look on his face as we part.

"District thirteen?" he looks at me, but we are interrupted by a knock at the door.

I place finger to lips to shush him, after so long he tried to grab me into his arms again.

But I skirt around him to the door.

Before me are two stunned faces and one calm one.

Tracker walks in followed by a confused Tracer and equally perplexed Haymitch Abernathy.

The reunion would be nice except as soon as Tracer sees Seneca I have to separate them with help from Tracker.

"How could you let Peeta get hurt?!" Tracer is snarling at Seneca who looks put out.

"Trace will you be quiet!" Tracker says finally separating her from almost strangling my brother, while I make sure Sen is sitting a safe distance from the enraged pregnant lady.

I look at Tracker who lets me kneel in front of Tracer. I hold her face in my hands and our eyes meet in a steady gaze, and hers widen.

"You were dead!" she nearly jumps out of her skin.

"Easy! Breathe Trace" I reassure her as she grew pale for a moment, "it's me, it's Ari"

"But how?!" she says and Tracker does something I didn't think was in him, he hugs me from behind.

"Smart little kid isn't she" he smiles coyly

"You knew?!" Seneca snaps at him, "He knew?! How could he know and not me?! I'm you brother Ari!"

"And you are working for the Capitol" Haymitch chimes in, "but I have to say kid you did an award winning disappearing act…how?"

I roll up my sleeve and show the thin scar that runs the inside of my right arm, from elbow to wrist. "I got it removed" I see all three victors look at their arms worried, "don't worry I have my jamming device on full output, no one knows you are here, it will scatter your signals, we have a couple hours before it gets chancy"

"We thought you were dead" Tracer says, "why didn't you tell us you were in trouble?"

"I wasn't the one in trouble Trace that was the problem" I reply touching my mouth, "this was my problem, I had pushed the envelope a bit too far and Snow wanted to retaliate, that's why he made Hellen disappear, and take Darwin away, and put Seneca in the Capitol. If I had kept pushing he would have taken you and Tracker and Peeta away...he has files on everyone!"

I sit down, Tracer still hasn't broken eye contact with me, "if I had stayed Tracer it wasn't me he would have come after it would have been you. If he killed me he would have made a martyr, if he killed you he would have lost a victor…nothing more"

"A martyr?" Haymitch says, then he nods, "because of your tour, and the interview"

I nod, "but with me dead reasons unknown it wipes the slate clean…more or less"

"More or less?" Tracker asks, "what do you mean?"

"If Peeta had stayed safe until he was out of the reapings I would have stayed hidden…he's hurt, he needs help and Seneca was about to tell us how we are going to get two tributes out of the games this year" I explain

"Two?" Seneca looks bewildered, "who's the other one?"

"Lilian?" Tracer asks a hint of hope, but I shake my head sadly, "sorry I was hoping you'd help your district out" I can't help but smirk at the slight acid in her tone

"Trace it's only a matter of time before she blows herself up or does some other foolish act, did she even read the notebook?" I smirk

She smirks back, "no, she didn't believe it would help her, seeing as y'know the author is dead"

"'scuse me but we have a problem here" Seneca speaks up, "you said two…who's the other one?"

"Katniss?" Haymitch says and I smirk

"Not just a pretty face are you? Yes it's Katniss, I have given a thought to this. I work at the hospital until I chose the game watch. Peeta is clever, we can use his love for her as a device to save them" I reply, "the games this year have caused mass hysteria, they can't stand the tributes from district twelve being apart…so we give them what they want" I pause, "Tracer and Oliver should have had a chance but at least now we can have some happiness come from this blood sport"

"Rules are rules" Haymitch leans back a solemn look on his stubbly face, " 'a single victor is crowned' that's the rule"

"I call bull on that rule since half of this whole yearly slaughter was altered forty-nine years ago" I reply standing up and going to my laptop, "if 'rules are rules' Abernathy you would have never entered the games, none of us would have" I open the file on the true Treaty of Treason and slide it into their view.

Haymitch's face grows angry, Tracker covers his face and Tracer runs for my washroom to throw up. Seneca takes it the worst, he's grown pale. I look at him; we have grown so much in so short a time. Looking at him he probably thinks the same of me.

"You could have been spared" Seneca says to me, and I nod, "and Maverick and Farrow"

"Ah…well there is a thing y'see" I look at him, "Maverick is alive, only he's paralyzed"

"He….what?" Seneca blinks and now Haymitch and Tracker are staring at me

"Maverick's tracker malfunctioned when he fell, they had re-invented it after the fact but he made it out. A tribute in a world of victors" I smirk, "he's my best friend apart from Peeta" I clear my throat, "I know I'm asking a lot Seneca"

He shakes his head, "to be honest Ari, I wanted to save him, give me a day"

"We're lucky if he has that long" I look at him, "you saw where Cato injured him Seneca, if he doesn't die of blood loss, he will die of infection"

"We can't go in and rescue him Ariana" he looks at me stern, "don't worry I have an idea, but I have to find my moment, this is a story remember, we have to make the populous believe it or it won't work"

"Speaking of believing" I look at Haymitch, "I know Peeta would lay down his life for this Everdeen girl…"

He raises his hands in surrender, "I don't know about her! I only had one love in my life and she was killed, so don't ask me!"

"Fine if you don't know but if we are to win them over she has to play it" I reply annoyed, "find a way to get her and him together"


	41. Rule Change

**Author's Note:** Hello all, a quick lesson: plantain leaves are probably what Rue used on Katniss. I had gotten curious and wondered if there was such a plant that leaches off poison from stingers…and lo! There is! Amazing what one can find doing research no?

Thanks go to me reviewers: **Pandora. Eagle** (long time no see!), **Quinn, 'guest', HL,** and **Arrow** (who was so excited spelling reunion was messed up :P ;) )

Chapter 41

Rule Change

I watch for two days. They keep going back to Peeta between following Katniss and Rue, the careers and sometime Thresh and Lilian. Everytime I see his chest rise ever so slightly I breathe too. It's not until Katniss and Rue's plan happens with the destruction of the careers supplies that things start to come together, although a small part of me wishes it hadn't.

Marvel kills Rue, true that Katniss shoots Marvel and he is dead way before the little girl. But again her small form is being held by Katniss until she slips off, she sings to her, she rocks her which is probably comforting both of them. I feel sick from it, another child killed for what? President Snow's amusement and the amusement of the few?

Then the most intriguing thing happens. Katniss lays the dead girl in the grass and goes to pick wild flowers. She surrounds the tiny girl in them. Honoring her.

It shocks me, there has to be a reward for this. For anything this girl does, she put everyone on a level playing field; she honored the death of a child in the games.

Okay she didn't show mercy yet, but I don't think it's in her. But she is showing truth of spirit where everyone else is out to kill simple as that, she means to show respect.

Before I can even try and call Haymitch she is rewarded with a small loaf of bread from district eleven.

She makes a salute to the sky, and thanks district eleven in her own way, but I can see she is hurting. Maybe not as physically and as deadly as Peeta is but the death of Rue is going to haunt her.

She sits in a clearing not far from where Rue died. She doesn't even bother hiding. She cried at first. Now she is just sitting there like some long dead robot.

It's not until Templesmith comes over the speaker sighting a rule change. I know this is it. Peeta will get the help he needs now. I know this for a fact because as soon and that damned announcer finishes Katniss calls out to Peeta.

Once.

But once is all I needed.

Even if she doesn't know it yet I know she cares for my friend, as much as he cares for her. Reflex reactions are the best indication of how one feels for someone.

The next morning she is off in search of him.

I wish I could give her directions, but Peeta has hidden himself so perfectly even if I pointed him out she wouldn't know him from the rock bed he is beside.

I get a call. Seneca is on the other line.

"Dr. Sparrow?" he says

"Hello Mr. Crane, is there a problem?" I feel weird taking to my brother like this and even with the jamming devices I don't want to take a chance.

"Can you tell me anything about the Mellark boy? His condition from what we have given on air?" he sounds worried

"I can't be sure, I know he will be suffering from blood loss, dehydration and he hasn't eaten from what I can tell. If the Everdeen girl finds him and we get a better shot at what his injury is I could tell you a bit more" I reply

"Very well, keep your eye on the screen she seems to be close to him" he replies and hangs up.

I do just that.

Finally as if it took an age for her to suss him out she finds him.

Okay she is as surprised as I was with his expertise at camouflage but to get him to close his eyes again? It took Peeta calling out to her as well…

Maybe she is more surprised at his talent. I'm not, not after knowing he was an artist four years ago.

He whispers something to her and she laughs, then she gets him out of the mud and starts to wash him off. Finally with the mud gone and his dirty clothes either discarded or being washed she asses his wounds. He has a few minor burns and cuts that she tends to, she gives him some water and some dried fruit. He manages the water but I have a feeling he is running a fever because he does not want to eat. He is very weak because she has a hard time moving him on her own. I can only imagine the pain he is in.

She treats his tracker stings and a burn and the minor cuts expertly. She manages to get him to down some aspirin for the fever he is sure to have. Finally when she feels ready she attacks the part I need to know about.

His leg.

I don't know how but Seneca has manages to get a good camera angle for me to assess it for myself and what I see breaks me. I hold a pillow in my hands for fear I will ruin what is left of my nails. The cut is so deep I am sure I can see bone at the deepest part of it. It's inflamed and pus and blood seep from it readily. It's infected and I'm concerned that she doesn't know what to do. I almost cry out in indignation when she puts plantain leaf pulp that she had chewed into the cut. True its making the pus come out but she is introducing bacteria into the cut! The burn cream may feel good because it probably has aloe in it but it doesn't do anything for the infection.

He's doomed; there is nothing in a standard first aid kit to help him. He needs antibiotic ointment and if he gets even worse he might even need something stronger. They spend some more time with them but eventually when they settle down for the night after finding a cave I have to turn it off. Thankfully in the capitol I am able to do this, if I was still in five I would have to watch as my friend would slowly succumb to blood poisoning.


	42. Means to Save the Artist

**Author's Note: **Don'tcha just love the Crane siblings? Every time I write them I can actually hear them in my head, bickering XD

Thanks go to my reviewers: **HL, Eagle, Arrow** (as guest), **JB** (who gave me a mild panic attack until I realized I more or less covered what she brought up) and **'guest'** (I think it's Wild but I can't be sure)

Chapter 42

Means to Save the Artist

Two hours later my small group arrives. Seneca, Haymitch Tracker and Tracer. I hadn't watched the end of the broadcast so when Abernathy explains Katniss managing to get him to eat some clear broth I nod appreciatively.

"He's gonna need more than broth" Tracker says, "I saw the injury, everyone has. If he doesn't get antibiotics soon he'll-"

"Track shut it!" Tracer snaps at him because the look on my face is a step before complete and utter loss.

"What can we do?" Tracker says, "he didn't form an alliance with Lilian, and the one with Cato is null and void"

I calm down, I think, I cover my face and rack my brain for something mentors can do.

"He needs more than broth" I mutter," but until he can stomach anything else we have to rely on Everdeen to take care of him" I rub my face to wake myself up and steel myself. "What of her sponsors, how much money can you get?" I look at Haymitch

Haymitch shakes his head, "not enough for medicine that's for sure" he says, "plus more are willing to see a tragic death than try and save him despite the obvious ploy of keeping Katniss safe, most of these capitalists are naïve" he looks at me, "you could be a sponsor you know?" I shake my head, "why the hell not? He's your friend Ariana!"

"She can't" Seneca says, "she's working as head medic for the games it would be a conflict of interest"

I turn to him. An idea sparked in my mind, "but we can get him what we want" I realize, "how many tributes are left?"

"Six" Tracer says, "and from the map spread out pretty far apart"

"I know how we can save him" I smirk, "I know what he needs, all we need is a way to give it without using the sponsors"

"Yeah so?" Haymitch says

"So we use it as a ploy to get Katniss to give it to him. Throw a feast, I can get a syringe set with a cocktail that will save Peeta's life, and some high priced medical supplies" I say to Seneca but Haymitch shakes his head and interrupts.

"Peeta won't let her go" he warns, "you know him, he'll make damned sure she doesn't go to a place that is almost certain death"

"Way to rain on the parade Abernathy" Tracker sighs, "why do we always end up with such noble people as friends?" he looks at his sister who chuckles and shakes her head in response.

"Is there a way to keep that boy out of the picture long enough for Katniss to get to the horn and back?" Seneca asks

"Aside from killing him?" Haymitch says and I have to be held back from throttling him

"Easy kid I was joking!" Haymitch puts the couch between us for fear I will ring his sarcastic and alcohol infused neck.

"Not the time to joke Haymitch" Tracker says, "not at all"

"Right! Sorry!" he holds his hands up in surrender, "a way to keep Peeta at bay until we can get him the medicine he needs…" he thinks for a few minutes, "I think I got it" he smiles, "and I think I know the right sponsor to help me make this happen" he nods.

"Well what?" Tracer says

"We just have to knock him out and in Twelve we have this liquor called sleep syrup" he responds matter of factly.

"How strong is it?" I ask because although I am versed in modern medicine 'sleep syrup' wasn't covered.

"I've seen it used to knock out people who've been whipped so the healer can do their job without them thrashing about" Haymitch shrugs, "and it's more the amount you give that is the length of time you are out, it's sweet like honey so its also given to kids if they broke a leg and have to have it set"

"So it's safe?" I ask

"I've known people that have lived off the stuff to sleep for years, so yeah pretty safe" he shrugs

I look dubiously at him.

"Actually" Seneca says, "you wouldn't remember Ariana but when Xania died we had to dose you with that stuff just so you could sleep, it works!"

This is no time to go into debate, Peeta needs help and fast. He has a couple days tops for sure.

"Get it" I say to him and he leaves.

"What can we do?" Tracker asks

"Pray" I tell him, "because if Peeta dies because of Haymitch there will be no place on this earth he can get away from me" I glare at the door, "he may have saved me, but I think he doesn't care anymore"

Tracer comes over and puts a hand on my shoulder, "he'll make it, don't you worry" she looks at Seneca appreciatively, "if you save Peeta I'll forgive you" with that she takes Tracker and leaves.

Seneca is last to leave we sit on the couch together but separated by a space.

"You've changed a lot Ari" he says, "I knew you could command people but you are turning the game on its head without breaking a sweat"

"Says the guy with plastered down hair and an absurd version of facial hair" I look at him stone faced

"What happened to you?" he asks

"Life happened" I reply, "becoming a victor happened, being a mentor happened, becoming a spy happened, being assaulted happened" I internally wince at letting that last part fall from my lips

"What?" he asks deadly quiet

I sigh rubbing my face again, I blame being exhausted and worried otherwise I wouldn't have let that slip, "I was at my first games as a victor and Snow had sold me for a night to this guy…he didn't get far, Tracker, Brutus and Finnick came to my rescue but he bruised my jaw and upper arm in retaliation prior to them getting there"

"I never noticed" he says, "and you never told me"

"Hellen is dead because she went to fight for me Seneca, I didn't want to loose you too" I glare at him

Realization hits him, "so that's why" he looks broken, "that's why you told me not to go…you knew…god Ariana you could have _told_ me what happened to you"

"Yeah and then you would have used that invite to retaliate Seneca…don't deny it" I point at him. "you would have gone and gotten yourself killed"

He's quiet.

We both are.

There was a time I could tell my brother anything and everything. I remember being ten years old and crying in the girls dorm the day after we arrived at the community home and telling him that I wished we had exploded too, that I hated being alone.

He had said he would never leave me.

And yet he did.

"You have some work to do" I tell him, "let me know when it's a go and I will get the district twelve pack set up" I stand and he does likewise

We are quiet again…he finally breaks the silence

"If I could do it again Ari…I would have stayed" he says

"I know" I reply and he kisses my forehead and hugs me before leaving.

It takes a day.

A day more than Peeta has in him, because when the Everdeen girl checks his leg I almost scream bloody murder at the screen.

Sepsis has set in.

I get the call; the mission to save Peeta is a go.

I race to the hospital forgoing a stop at the local bistro for a tea and scone like I used to do.

I bypass Church and my colleagues and head for the pharmacy and open a syringe and needle set.

The cocktail of painkiller and antibiotic make a slightly cloudy mix in the syringe it's mostly antibiotic, I add a dose of morphline with the drug for any pain he is more assuredly in. I also wrap this with gauze, bandages, antibiotic ointment, plus anything else I think they need along with a pocket size first aid manual with a note on how to use the needle and syringe set.

She doesn't even need to get a blood vessel with this mix. Any large muscle group will do.

I just hope she survives the feast to do this for me.

I was ordered to have the medical pack ready within six hours. I get it done in two. Even so the pack is one of the smaller ones. About the size of a waist pouch but its fill to bursting with supplies to help save Peeta and keep them well until they can get out.


	43. Sugar Berries

**Author's Note:** Well duckies, here we are at feast time! Not many chapters left to go! What are you guys thinking? Am I cannon enough for y'all? What do you think is going thru the minds or Ariana's little circle back in Thirteen..think they know she has her hands in this?...

Just some questions that popped in my head as I add this prior to uploading.

So! Thanks go to my reviewers**: Pandora, Arrow **and** HL. **And away we go!

Chapter 43

Sugar Berries

Things work like clockwork for the night prior to the feast. Though it is almost reminiscent of Ken finding that copse of wild strawberries back in thirteen and treating them to me on my birthday. Only these are blackberries, and they are laced with that knockout syrup Haymitch told us about. I have to hand it to her she knows exactly what she is doing.

She doses Peeta, and he passes out. At this point I would be making sure he is breathing normally from how quickly that syrup worked but apparently she knows he's going to be fine.

She gets herself set up and when the time is right she heads off to the cornucopia. As well as Cato, Thresh, Clove and Lilian.

Lilian is first to arrive and she steals away in the horn out of sight. She's skinny so she can hide almost anywhere unnoticed.

Thresh makes a quick appearance but then sinks into the field waiting.

Clove doesn't notice either and hides behind the horn flipping a knife in her hand waiting.

I don't see Cato who would be the biggest threat to Katniss succeeding. When she finally arrives it's near dawn and the table appears from a split in the ground. On it are four different sized parcels. Before the horn even starts the welcoming of the feast Lilian has taken the one marked with a big number five and has dashed like a mad hare to the trees.

Apparently she is fast on her feet. I give her that, we would probably match each other in a race.

Katniss runs for the table shortly after and grabs a strap on her parcel. Clove is waiting and throws the blade she was playing with at Everdeen giving her forehead a glancing strike. It's the only one she manages, due to her and Peeta's crush both being distant fighters when Katniss runs up to her the chance of quick dispatchment is lost.

She pins Katniss to the ground and starts to mock her.

I realize that maybe Maverick was the black sheep of all the district two tributes. If anything if he knew Katniss was doing this for Peeta he would have given then a sporting chance.

Clove is murderous. Her lack of subtlety is her downfall as she brings up little Rue.

Who was Thresh's counterpart.

It's only a second before Thresh has hoisted the petite Clove by her jacket and pinning her to the side of the horn. She calls out for Cato but he either isn't going to come to her aid despite the chance of them both getting home, he's on his way, or he is too far off to hear her cry for help.

In any case it's too late for her. Thresh smashes her head in with a stone the size of a loaf of bread. She's on the ground twitching and moaning.

He then turns on Katniss, he glares at her and she looks like she is going to give up. The guilt in her eyes stays Thresh's attack on her. Even when she asks him to do it quickly he looks confused. Then he lets her go. Paying off a debt of gratitude for staying with Rue when he could not.

It's something Farrow would have done for Maverick if the roles had been reversed and he had stayed with me if I had died, even if my old friend had said he'd kill the careers…

Katniss runs like a maniac, bushes cut her cheek and hands as she careens thru the plants and shrubbery on a direct route back to the cave. She dumps the contents on her jacket she has tossed off herself, reads the note quickly and stabs Peeta in the arm.

All is fine until she collapses from her head injury. She seems fine with the exception of the cut. But there are supplies for Peeta to use on her when he regains consciousness.

I watch as Peeta starts to come around. He moves his injured leg and seems relieved that the pain has dulled. He is sure not to do much, until that is he sees Katniss lying in a pool of blood from the cut on her head. He scrambles to her and tries to rouse her. He notices the pocket first aid book and leafs thru it in the failing light then gets the ointment and bandages and takes care of her wound. Then he turns her away from the pool of blood and wraps her haphazardly in the sleeping bag.

He eats finally; he ends up eating half of the cooked grouse before looking guilty at the unconscious girl. He then sticks to water.

I think Seneca wants them to rest because he sends in a downpour so they have no choice but to wait it out in the safety of the cave.

He watches her sleep, she is out of it for the rest of the day and evening. Clove is shown to them all and Peeta seems to be relieved at that. Either because she was a big threat or it means they are the only pair left. Either way his gaze falls on Katniss.

He plugs up the worst hole in their cave with that foot square piece of plastic she got on day one and as the rain really beats down he puts the broth pot under another stream.

Katniss wakes the next day and he takes care of her, I think he is over the moon being able to do this for her.

They talk, and finish off the rest of the food Katniss had brought with her. It's meager and for two teens I am sure they burnt thru the calories as soon at it hit their palates.

They need to eat they can last a day or two without eating, they have plenty of water.

I just hope Haymitch knows a way to get them something.

I realize finally that my old alliance mentor has ulterior motives for these two kids. He had sent broth after Katniss had kissed Peeta the first time, I wish I had seen his face, but I was too upset at him being so ill. Now he is waiting for Katniss to show some real attachment to him.

It happens soon enough, Katniss teases him saying Haymitch had used up all his sponsors knocking him out. Peeta is annoyed and he isn't playing. He genuinely cares for her so when he tries to threaten her about doing another stupid stunt he gets tongue tied.

She on the other hand profits from this, she proclaims her intentions were selfish, that she didn't want to loose him. At least she tries to, I realize she is as inept at the touchy feely stuff as I was with Ken.

Only she was the one to kiss Peeta and he didn't kick her in a sensitive area. But never the less we have a hard time explaining something we have little understanding of.

It takes Peeta getting close to her and initiating a longer kiss.

Still nothing is sent to them.

I don't know what Haymitch wants from them but I think first chance I get I will smack him so hard his head will spin like a top.

Another day and again nothing.

Finally Katniss asks Peeta when he first fell for her.

This gets my attention because despite Peeta telling me he has had eyes for this girl he never was forthcoming with when this infatuation began.

It began when he was in kindergarten. I can almost picture a small Peeta, messy blond hair and those bright blue eyes with a goofy grin on his face hearing a little girl in a plaid red jumper singing some folk song and being completely smitten.

It makes me want to giggle at the image, instead I break open my drawing supplies and start sketching again because that image has to be remembered.

He then goes on to explain how he was just too shy to actually talk to her, despite me telling him although he never mentions that. I can see a flitting ghost of hurt cross his face and realize some of this is still painful for him.

Haymitch finally caves when Katniss says he never had much competition anywhere and they finally get some decent food.

So Haymitch wants to be cupid.


	44. The Perils of Nightlock

**Author's Note:** I didn't expect people to imagine Abernathy is the cupid garb, let alone with bow and enchanted arrows!...That's dangerous he could have self dosed himself and fell for Trinket of all people :P or even worse…Brutus!

Thanks go to my reviewers: **Arrow, Pandora, JB** and **HL** (as 'guest'), (and to Z thru PM)

Chapter 44

The Perils of Nightlock

They take a break from the lovebirds to bring us to a fight between Cato and Thresh. Both are eighteen or so says Flickerman. He does a brief background on them, Cato is pretty beaten up but Thresh is no better and when Cato manages to run the larger tribute thru with his sword they come away from each other. Thresh staggers away, blood seeping from his mouth as he collapses next to a bush of dark crimson berries. Wait, I know those…I think I do, but I never heard their name before. Thresh seems to look at them like an old friend. He presses two fingers to his mouth kissing them then takes a handful and swallows them.

The effect is almost instant. He convulses a couple times, his body trying to be rid of the fruit but it's too late, he has swallowed them completely and he dies moments later. Those were what Farrow must have eaten in my games to kill himself but damned if I remember the name we had given them, I remember reading up on them…

They return to Peeta and Katniss soon after because following Cato around isn't all that interesting when there is a love story going on.

They take watches, when Peeta tells of Thresh's death it upsets her. I can understand, debt is hard to erase when the person is dead. I felt like that for the longest time with Maverick.

When the rain finally stops a couple days later they head out for a day of hunting. Peeta already looks miles better than when she took him out of the mud. He still favors his unmarred leg but that's normal. When they win he will have all the time in the world to rest and recover. The problem being unlike Katniss he has a heavy tread. Mark it down to being a family of boys and not having to step lightly for fear of scarring away game, but I can see his girl is a bit annoyed at the stomping footsteps. Peeta is oblivious, but he never had to hunt for food in his life.

When they reach the more wooded area by the overrun stream he starts to gather roots and vegetation while she goes off to hunt for meat. They whistle to each other sporadically. If only to make sure each other is still in this. They follow Katniss a bit then they go back to Peeta.

He has placed the plastic sheet on the ground and has found a berry bush and has started to pile the fruit there.

Dark red fruit. Oh no…

It doesn't take long for the flash of red hair to tell me Lilian has found them. The emaciated girl spots the backpacks and steals a bit of the cheese and some of the berries. She dashes off before either can figure out what was done. She runs off and the camera follow her until she stops in a small clearing and hungrily eats the cheese and then pops the berries in her mouth. The canon goes off as her body twitches one last time.

Tracer will probably be livid right now because that was a novice mistake. 'Never eat something you aren't one-hundred and ten percent sure is safe' I repeat to myself. True Peeta was collecting it, but never trust another tribute, pick and eat fruit yourself. I shake my head ruefully, she didn't get blown up but food was the thing to kill her.

Katniss explains to Peeta that the berries he collected were nightlock and it all falls back into place. The juice is highly toxic it stops the heart within a minute of ingestion, it also attacked the nervous system hence the seizures, it's name comes from the combination of two old world plants that were poisonous, notoriously so. Nightshade which surprisingly has the tomato in its family and hemlock who is a relative to carrots and parsley. Peeta didn't know, I thank Seneca for making sure Katniss found him, she knew what they were. She gathers some in a leather pouch and explains maybe Cato will fall for the ploy Lilian did. Though she calls her Foxface, honestly she did have a sly look to her so I won't argue the nickname.

The lovebirds head back to their nest. It appears they had a bit of a tiff and this is how Katniss apologizes.

There are only three of them left, they just have to make sure Cato dies and they can go home.

The following morning I guess Seneca was ordered to bring them together because he has shut off all outside sources of water. Only the lake remains. It doesn't take long for either of my pair to realize this is the ploy to get them to face off with the eighteen year old.

They take a route that is so closely related to the games I don't know if Katniss planned it or if she followed a marked trail. The pond she soaked her burned leg in. The place she fell after the mutt wasp attack. The tree where that nest fell now with an empty husk. If she is doing this on purpose there are capital citizens who are getting emotional already and the final battle has yet to begin.

I get a call about ten minutes after they hit the clearing.

_Report to game center for transport._

It's up to Katniss now, I turn off my TV get my leather jacket and head for the game center.

I thought I would be going in but there is a hover plane getting set up. Medical supplies and equipment are being brought in. A nurse comes over and explains I am in charge of this rabble. I do the only thing that comes naturally I start barking order.

Soon I have a surgical suite on one side of the plane separated by a glass door and there is a second door that separates the pilot with a small seating area if the tribute (or in this case tributes) have no need for emergency care. It takes most of the day to make sure we have everything. And I do mean everything. The only thing we don't have is a never ending supply of whole blood. We have a few pints in the cold storage of a universal donor, but not much, they don't think we will need it. I think we should have had more but then again a few donors are better than none at all.

When everything is ready the view screen is turned on so we can get a handle on what is going on in the game.

It's a stand off with Katniss on one side and Cato chocking Peeta on the other. The camera zooms out so we see the damage each has sustained and Peeta seems to be in even worse shape than when he was dug out of the mud. One of his legs is badly injured and blood is flowing freely. Although Katniss had done a tourniquet I don't know if she has released it lately and if she hasn't the damage will probably be irreversible.

Cato is the next worse one, he has cuts and scratches all over but his body seems to be in better shape than Peeta. I then realize why, the gift from the feast was body armor. He is covered from neckline to wrist and ankle in it.

Katniss seems to be the least injured, she has dried blood on one side coming from her ear which could be because of the explosion that removed the supplies from the game. If she is deaf the capitol has techniques to restore hearing. Other than that she just seems to need a few good meals and a bath.

The standoff doesn't last long though, in a gruesome attempt to communicate Peeta uses the blood on his hand to make a target for Katniss. She shoots Cato in the hand and while he screams in pain Peeta pushes him off the cornucopia. He lands in the fray of giant wolves of different size and colour. I don't get a good look at them because I watch Cato's face. Fear is palpable but so is resignation. He fights and manages to dispatch one but the other are tearing at his hands and drag him into the horn and continue to attack him until a trap door opens and he is left to bleed to death.

On top of the horn Katniss tries to keep Peeta awake, he is slipping and I bit the inside of my lips to keep from crying. Cato is still alive, despite the wolves attempts bleeding to death is taking a while.

In a feat of mercy Katniss take the arrow they are using for Peeta's tourniquet and shoots Cato in what is left of his head. He was nothing more than a bloody mess by the end. I don't know how he last that long after the wolves tore him apart.

The final canon goes off but no trumpet sounds.

The pair slide off the horn and head for the lake. Katniss tends to peeta's leg but I have a sinking feeling it's not going to help much, the damage is too extensive for basic first aid.

Then the bomb drops. Templesmith rescinds the rule change and I am ready to rip my brother in half. He had promised, he was going to save them both!

What is he playing at?

Peeta tells Katniss to kill him, she has the means, he's going to die anyway from blood loss soon so it should be her.

She raises her bow but her hands are quaking and she just can't do it. She can't kill him.

She tosses the bow away and takes the pouch from her belt.

The nightlock.

She wouldn't!

Peeta is thinking along the same lines as I am but then she does something even worse.

She splits the amount and pours half into his hand, half in hers.

"Together?" he asks and she confirms.

"On three"

"One"

"Two"

"Three"

They put the berries in their mouth when Templesmith cries "STOP!" they spit them out and rinse they mouths out thoroughly as they are announced to be the newest victors of the hunger games.

"Let's move people we are on clock!" I bark

The doors close and we are off like greased lightning.


	45. Bringing Him Back

**Author's Note: 1)** FF is acting weird so I decided to update a half day sooner, for thet reason

2) Question to think about, if you hadn't seen a friend who had gone off to war for two years…would you still recognize them?

3) thanks to my reviewers: **Arrow, Pandora, HL **and** JB**

Chapter 45

Bringing Him Back 

I don't know how long we are in the air but soon the plane stops moving forward and a trap door opens.

Katniss and Peeta are lifted to safety.

I have orderlies ready to take them and asses their injuries quickly. But as soon as the ladders remove their charge Peeta falls into a lifeless heap while Katniss screams for him to wake.

"Forget Everdeen bring Mellark!" I bark and they do just that.

I steel myself for what I have in front of me.

He is ghost white and unconscious. We hook him up to a heart monitor that is saying he still has a pulse. Thank god. We rush to give him oxygen and take care of his injuries.

I set up an IV in him. Several nurses add other lines to give him medicines and antibiotics. While they are fussing with the minor injuries I take stock of his leg.

My heart sinks. There is a gaping chunk of his lower calf that was ripped off by the mutt wolves. Major vessels have been pinched to nothing due to the tourniquet.

Doctor Henesy is the second in command of emergency for the games, he takes his orders from me, (they need an actual doctor to be head MD on these things, Henesy never stepped foot in a hospital), and even he is having doubts about saving Peeta from being an amputee the rest of his life.

We try everything, and I do mean everything we can think of even more unorthodox ways of saving his leg but with the amount of damage we cannot find a way to save it. Henesy and I are discussing our last options but all that is forgotten when Peeta's heart stops suddenly.

We rush back and use the electric paddles on him. I'm barking for adrenaline and atropine to be given. Apparently they don't know drugs like I do and I take over the whole scene. It's then that I hear a frantic thumping on the clear glass door. Everdeen is there hair a mess, eyes wild and frightened.

"Will someone calm her down I can't have both of them go into shock!" I bark and a nurse who jumps into action goes to if not calm Katniss then maybe distract her so she isn't distracting me.

'Come on Peet' I call to him in my head, 'you're not getting out of this that easily'.

When his heart stabilizes Henesy takes me aside, reluctantly, "we can't dilly dally any longer Sparrow" Henesy says, "we have to make a decision"

To lose a leg? Is it really as bad as losing one's life? I am torn deciding this for him, but he is unconscious and I have to decide, I am head medic of this team.

I have to, it will save his life.

"Okay" I say, "get the kit, I'll do it" I look torn and I think Henesy sees it to.

"I've done it before, I'll take that job, you just monitor him" he replies

I order the nurses out to the seating area on our side. They were too jumpy and Peeta needs steady hands and steady hearts to keep him from slipping.

I was right to do so.

I think his spirit breaks just as the last edge of his skin is severed to removed the lower part of his damaged leg from his body.

His heart stops, this is the second time.

I do CPR at first and then resort to paddles.

"Peeta! Come on!" I cry and Henesy looks at me confused.

His heart starts again as we make it back to the Capitol and Peeta is loaded into an ambulance.

Before I race to go with him Henesy takes me by the arm.

"You called him Peeta" he says, "like you knew him"

It comes out so naturally I am surprised at my acting ability.

"Seeing those two in that cave, spilling their hearts out, anyone would feel they know them" I get out of his grasp, "slip of the tongue, excuse me" and I race to the ambulance.

XXXOOOXXX

The beeping of machines as Peeta lies in an intensive care bed gives me no relief.

He is too pale, and ill. I am surprised I was able to get him stable. I took his case, I have to, conflict of interest be damned he is _my_ friend I will take care of him.

I watch from the doorway when I hear a familiar voice.

"Remarkable" President Snow says, I have half a mind to gouge out his beady little eyes there and then.

"Isn't he though?" I say gently, "I heard some made double their wagers on him"

"You didn't bet?" He asks

"Conflict of interest I would have if I hadn't take the position on the emergency team" I reply.

"How is he?" again I wonder his interest but I stay my flippant tongue.

"Weak. He lost a lot of blood and he had two cardiac arrests en route to the capitol. He's fighting off an infection from the mutt bite and we had to amputate one of his legs below the knee" I can't help but inject some distaste, "but he's alive" I add with relief.

"Will he recover?"

"If I have anything to do with it he will" I reply, it's taking all my will not to take a pillow and smother Snow with it.

"See that he does" Snow says, "with two victors we have to do some modifications" he says too calmly, "you have two weeks from when he wakes."


	46. Two Artists

**Author's Note: 1) **Thank you to my reviewers of last chapter **Pandora, 'guest', SMT, HL,**** KL10X **and** Arrow  
**

**2)** A return to canon dear readers (been a while hasn't it?!), please forgive if it's a wee bit OOC (I don't think it is but then again canon and I don't always agree) in any case friends reunite this chapter hence the title….

Chapter 46

Two Artists

Two weeks? Two weeks! He won't be recovered by then! Every ounce of my restraint is being pooled as I nod curtly and hold onto my clipboard, I am sure the edge is cutting into my hands but I don't flinch.

"Very well" I say and he excuses himself.

I enter Peeta's room. He has a cannula snaking under his nose, and he still has antibiotics seeping into his blood system, not to mention morphline.

I realize even if it has been two years and some people like President Snow don't recognize me, Peeta will. Don't know how I know that, but friends don't forget, even if the image in his head is blurred from two years ago my eyes will give me away.

In fact I just realize how risky it was taking his case now. He will no doubt blow my cover if I don't figure a way to tell him without telling him. The hospital has surveillance cameras, with audio. And bringing my jamming device here will cause equipment to malfunction.

A note has to be read, and that will be caught on camera.

Speaking is way out of it.

It finally occurs to me we have something in common, something they don't know yet. A flare for drawing, so while my friend is still out of it I take my notepad and start to sketch a pictograph.

_Peeta POV_

I feel I could sleep my life away. The last thing I remember is the ladder taking Katniss and I away from that nightmare of an arena. Away from muttation wolves, and poisonous berries. Away from weapons and survival tactics.

Things start to flood back to me.

Katniss!

I stir and wake but feel so weak I can't even sit up. The lights have been dimmed, probably for my benefit. It doesn't take long for my eyes to adjust. There is a tube under my nose helping me breath easier as well as helping my mind clear. I am in a paper gown, much like what Portia had me robed in after being primped and preened by the prep team before the games. But the place is foreign to me and I don't think I am in the training tower or the medical wing either. It smells too clean here. Where am I? I start to panic slowly then I close my eyes and think….I'm in a hospital, I piece it together. I bet it's because of shock I haven't made the connection faster. Okay… in a hospital, they didn't strip me completely naked I still have my underwear on. As much as I told katniss I didn't mind her seeing me completely nude, and I've been nude in front of my prep team and Portia I don't know these people and feel self conscious.

Not as much as I realize the sheet on me is falling different and I realize the bottom half of my left leg is gone. About half a foot below my knee. My head swims and I feel nauseous. I can't try and feel loss right now otherwise I won't know what happened to Katniss and that's has me worried more than a missing body part right now.

I take in my surrounding more fully, it helps to distract from my worry over Katniss and the thought of being a cripple.

That's when I notice I'm not the only one in the room.

There is a young woman with auburn hair sitting beside my bed sketching. She looks up at me and I am thrown.

Bright blue eyes are staring back at me, the auburn hair; the puzzle is starting to fit into place but its making no sense at all. Because if I am right I am dead…she gets up and looks at me, she's petite. But there is this aura around her, this air of being in control.

"Welcome back Mr. Mellark" she says softly, she has the clipboard facing me, not in sight of the cameras and one of her index fingers is taping it.

I carefully divert my line of sight to the sheet she has on the back. It's a series of pictures.

It's a message.

Me with a finger over my mouth in a shush movement means 'don't talk'

A perfectly drawn ear means 'listen'

And a smiley face is her way of saying it's her. But she needn't have bothered. I know her style anywhere.

The person standing in front of me, in a doctor's pristine white labcoat is my friend.

It's Ariana.

But how? And why is she in a doctor's get up? And why is she not dead?

"My name is doctor Sparrow, how are you feeling?" she asks concern very clear in her eyes.

I allow a very subtle smirk, Sparrow, she loved those birds. Always in the margins of the journal we sent back and forth. If I didn't feel so worn I would jump out of bed and hug her. Only that would give her away and I have a feeling its important I play along.

"Tired" I reply and can't believe how weak my voice is, raspy and breathy, "where's Katniss?"

"Ms. Everdeen is safe, she's fine" she looks at her clipboard, "I was assigned your case, when you are a bit stronger we will start therapy"

"What happened to me? Why do I feel so-"

"Weak?"

I nod

"You had two heart attacks en route, plus severe blood loss and you are running a low grade fever" she replies, "we'll have you better in no time though trust me"

"And m'leg?"

This is where I see the most of Ariana fighting to come out, "it was too badly damaged to save, it was either amputate or you could have died" she pauses, "I'm so very sorry" she looks sad and angry at the same time. A very interesting emotion to see on such a gentle face. She is torn, I have a feeling its taking all her resolve to play this part than to wrap me in her arms. I can almost hear her use my shortened name 'Peet' at the end. She liked calling me Peet.

She places a cool hand on the feverish skin of my arm, she was always one of those people who was always a few degrees cooler than others, from Five I guess you had to be, "I'll get you something to eat".

I touch her hand and she stops immediately and looks at me. I relive our last eye lock. I was fourteen she was sixteen. She said she had to leave and I was debating whether to tie her up like those turkeys the butcher sells. But that look, it had every emotion we ever felt. She was like an older sister, a very rebellious older sister. That one look, it held all our love for each other, how much we cared and how much we would miss each other. Like family.

"I'll be back" she reassures, its so gentle and calm I let her go.

She returns with a very small tray of food. I don't understand. She sees how skinny I am! Why not bombarded me with every delicacy they have to offer.

But I look at the plate none the less.

Toast and jam, a small amount of scrambled eggs, a glass of juice and cereal with a carton of milk.

She helps me to sit up and eat, I would but my hands are shaking so much. I barely get thru the eggs when the room spins uncontrollably and they come back up. Now I know why she didn't get me the rich food. My body isn't ready for that onslaught yet.

How embarrassing is this? No words can explain how red my face goes, despite loosing so much blood. I think she knows because she leans forward and whispers.

"When I won I could barely take a small bowl of clear broth y'know"

It makes me feel slightly better, so I try nibbling at the toast, and then I drink the orange juice. She encourages me to go slowly, not to rush because we want to keep down as much as we can. I offer to try the cereal but she doesn't want to chance it.

Once I finish she helps me lay back down. She hasn't changed, okay well she has she's older, she looks more war weary than I remember. But her eyes haven't changed , they still hold that curiosity and love and eagerness, and so much care. She is still that girl I remember, the one who wrote of district Five like it was the most soothing place on earth. The one who gave a stuttering twelve year old the feeling of being watched over by some guardian angel.

"Can you stay?" I ask, I try and inject more than just that simple question 'is she okay? Why did she leave?'

"Until you fall asleep" she says brushing the hair from my face. Her hands feel wonderful on my skin cool like the cloths that Katniss used to try and bring down my fever.  
When I wake she is sitting beside me sketching again. I know she has to play this role for some reason and I hope one day to find out.  
"Doctor Sparrow?" I say softly I'm feeling slightly better but still weak as a newborn.  
She gets up with a gentle smile "hey, well you are looking a bit better" she touches my face, "we have some work to do"  
I blink as she brings round a wheelchair for me. It hits me like a punch to the stomach. I'm a cripple. She must see my internal struggle with this because she sits on the edge of the bed.

"People who judge someone just by the sight of them are the most ignorant people in the world" she says, "they don't know what the most important parts are"

"Important parts?" I look at her confused

"Yeah" she smirks, she places a hand over my heart and then taps me in the temple, "y'know important parts" she lets a true smile break her façade, "besides the two of you shone so brightly out in that arena, I think 'star-crossed' was quite the catchphrase, I'm surprised the careers couldn't see that glow" she teases, okay I am blushing furiously now and she laughs. My friend laughing and teasing me, making me feel better despite the danger for herself.

"Okay what's first doc?" I say and can feel a bit stronger just with saying that.  
She helps ms to sit in the chair and she wheels me to the prosthetics lab where they take a cast of my stump and we go outside for some fresh air. The courtyard is large and almost empty. Maybe she will talk safely here.  
"I had to" Ariana says, she sounds defeated and hurt, I don't blame her for anything but I think she is blaming herself.  
"I know" I say, I know a lot, she was probably doing this to protect people or herself but it's was probably for others she faked her death for.  
"There is so much to explain" she says in her cryptic way she means way more than my injuries.

"I'm ready" I reply, meaning I will hear her out  
She nods and we sit quietly I take her hand in mine and kiss her knuckles. My friend is here with me, whatever she has to say it won't ruin the fact that she is alive and helping me recover.


	47. Safe Haven

**Author's Note: **So we are just **1** chapter away from the end of this story people, I can't explain how happy I was to see so many reviews last chapter it makes me smile to see you guys are enjoying the fic.

This is also a monumental chapter because it has the last true chapter of Painted Faces paired with it (long time since we heard of that fic eh folks?) there is an epilogue to it which I will post with the last chapter of this one so keep your eyes open for it!

Thanks go to my reviewers! **JB, Wren, Pandora, Arrow, HL **and** KL10X **(and Z)

Chapter 47

Safe Haven

_Ari POV_

The first week goes slow, too slow for me to feel anything but regret at night. I hate not being able to talk to Peeta freely! I have so much I want to tell him! So much I wish he could know so he understands I had to do what I had to do.

I get home and I feel drained, not only physically because Peeta is no featherweight despite being skinny. But emotionally exhausted. With the games over the attempted suicides have dropped. There has been an influx of well wishers wanting to pay respects to him that we constantly turn away. They are enraged half the time demanding an audience but he does _not_ need Capitol residents swarming his bedside. Even if I know he would be open and cordial he really needs to focus on himself and Katniss right now.

Ever since I had taken his case, since he was taken from the arena I have spent most of my time at the hospital. He sleeps fitfully, the other physicians want to use sedatives but the mere thought of knocking him out feels wrong. When I have to leave I get Jaqueline to watch over him. She seems to be eager but I insist that she doesn't bother him and to make sure he sleeps as much as he can. I get called to the hospital sometimes in the dead of night when he wakes with nightmares, or he is having phantom pains. Sometimes I get to work and he has receded into himself in deeper blue moods than I have had since I won. I was fourteen my nightmares were of corpses. I can't imagine what he has had to endure, and he has the added bonus of the tracker jacker venom, which stays in the blood long after the stinger is out. He might have more vivid dreams than I had, and still have from time to time. The days he is depressed I take him outside, he is using a walker right now by next week I expect him to be using a cane. But I insist he get fresh air. Outside he tells me of his nightmares, mostly of loosing Katniss, of the wolves catching them. He will wake and his residual limb with throb angrily and it's a pain that comes and goes so infrequently he doesn't want painkillers. His worst day was near the end of the first week, where he threw his prosthetic at Jaqueline when she said she understood. I really don't blame him despite the newbie saying he's mad. He's not mad, he's hurt, and it's worse than anything a born and bred capital citizen can understand.

Heck I don't know if I can fully understand it, I never lost a limb. I understand his nightmares but he's the only one that is now challenged with mobility issues. If I could I would tell him how much it doesn't matter to me that he is like that, but the cameras forbid it. The audio feed forbids it and I hate the hospital more than ever. I wish I could tell him everything, show him he isn't alone in this fight. But all I can do is encourage him to not give up under my alias.

Seneca visits me after the first week. Tracker and Tracer went home already, they have things they have to attend to and Tracer is in no mood to stay when she is with child and wanting to be with her husband right now. Haymitch is coaching Katniss because of the ploy they did. So it's just him and I in my apartment. Having a small meal.

I had only accepted him back into my circle once he explained he had nothing to do with the twist at the end, Templesmith had touched his ear had nodded and had tried to make Peeta and Katniss fight to the death but Katniss had twisted back. He had barked at Templesmith to call them both winners. He had called the stop on this double suicide. He has no reason to lie, my place is secure, plus although he has acted like a jerk I saw the urgency in his eyes and knew he wasn't lying. Plus I realize by doing this he had put more than his job on the line.

So here we sit, brother and sister is silence eating the meal I had made.

"How is he doing?" he asks finally breaking the awkward silence, "Peeta, I was worried when the heart monitor stopped the first time."

"He's a survivor" I reply, "two heart attacks, sepsis, and an amputated leg and still he has the drive to make sure Katniss is alright."

Seneca chuckles, "man you sure pick your friends well" he smirks; I see a small part of my brother shine thru. He looks up and he notices I barely touched my pasta. "Something wrong?"

I shake my head and he takes a seat beside me.

"Ariana, it's me, you can tell me anything y'know, I haven't changed despite" he motions to his beard and his hair, "its still me here" he touches his heart

"I miss him" I say to him

"Miss who?"

"Peeta, I can't talk to him in the hospital" I look at him, "and you must be in trouble too, Seneca I-"

"Hey" he touches my face and wipes a tear away with his thumb, a tear that has broken my emotional dam, "remember I knew what I was getting into okay, no matter what happens, no matter what you hear or see Ari I am your brother and whatever we Crane's do we always have a reason behind it right?"

No….that same feeling. First Farrow, then Maverick, now my own brother.

"President Snow wants to talk to me after the two leave for home" he says

"Don't go Sen, run" I tell him, "just…you have to"

"What I have to do" he says, "is give you the time you need with Peeta, and I think I know how" he kisses my temple, "you're going to be okay sis, and so am I okay?"

_Peeta POV_

By the time the second week comes around I am standing a plastic and metal leg to replace the one I lost. I am still unsteady and I use a cane to keep from falling but Ariana is there every step of the way.  
To get anywhere is a chore, and exhausting still. One day towards the end of my physiotherapy she tells me we are going somewhere else. She says it will help, I don't know what she can do to help, I know Ari means well but she is playing for the cameras and I can see it's as frustrating to her as it is to me.

But doesn't she understand that I need _her_ right now?! I need my friend, I need to understand what happened and maybe, just maybe be able to talk to her without the fear of her cover being blown. I need what we had two years ago because at least then I knew I wasn't being judged and could speak freely.  
I don't know where until we are being driven to the training center and enter the training room. It has been decked out with parallel bars so I can get a handle on walking _un-_aided.  
"Is it safe?" I hear her mutter into a wrist band and then she touches her ear as if listening to someone. When she gives a small smile I know something good is about to happen.  
"Hi Peet" she says  
Those two words, it's like the world has shifted and before me is my blue eyes auburn haired friend from two years ago, I don't say a word but take an unsteady step and she bridges the gap and we crash into a hug.  
"I thought I had lost you!" I say thru tears of relief, "and then I saw you in the hospital and-"  
"I know I'm so sorry!" she is crying too, just like two years ago only they aren't full of pain, she is just able to put her chin on my shoulder and she's getting my collar wet, "I had to stay hidden its not safe there to talk!"  
I don't know what to say to her but I hold her tighter until she calms down, I think it's not only the inability to talk to me, it's also probably how badly I am injured and how sick I've been. I feel like a fool, with all the self hatred and frustration I forgot it wasn't just me suffering. _Peeta you were being selfish, something you never were before _I berate myself. I would apologize but I don't think she'd accept an apology thinking I had nothing to apologize for, so instead I say how I feel.  
"It's okay" I say to her gently, "I'm fine now" it seems to calm her, when I look up I see a man in a tailored suit, that must be Seneca, we never met face to face I just remember him from the photograph but he was in a costume face covered, he looks worried but he's up in the observation booth.

She finally calms and we get to work.  
As I walk the bars she fills me in.  
The interview that snowballed, the victor's tour that caused it to slowly escalate. The attack when she was fifteen.  
At that point I hear her voice break again and I am at her side instantly hugging her and telling her it's okay we don't have to go any further.  
"No" she says shaking her head stubbornly, "you have a right to know"  
She continues about how Darwin her stylist was taken, how Hellen never returned after leaving to talk with Snow. And becoming a mentor and causing Tracer's win. Then her escape, she shows me the scar on her arm it looks deep but cleanly done.  
"I was trained as a spy once my strength returned" she explains, "everything was fine until the 74th games" she looks at me and a playful smirk appears on her face as she helps me along the path, "I thought I told you to stay out of trouble!" she jokes  
"Can't help it I'm afraid trouble usually finds me!" I defend comically, I look at her, "even if I wasn't picked I would have volunteered y'know"  
She nods, "Katniss is a lucky girl and she doesn't even know it"  
"What about you? Any guy I will have to warn if they break your heart I break their nose?" I tease  
She gives a sad chuckle, "no...no one"  
I find this hard to believe she's is beautiful and kind, "their loss" I say, "there is always Gale I guess if you come to Twelve"  
"I'm surprised he isn't taken yet" she replies, but then shakes her head, "I might visit but not now, not yet"  
"What about the interview? You will be there for that" I look hopeful but again she shakes her head  
"Flickerman would recognize me as fast as you did Peet, I can't risk exposure just yet" she let's go of me and I stumble she is back beside me instantly.  
"This is unnatural" I say tapping my fake leg with the cane.  
"Hoping around on one leg is unnatural Peet" she jibes me, "you're doing fine"

Fine…if only that were true, I don't think we can ever be fine after this, Katniss…oh god I forgot her for a second, she doesn't know!  
"What will I tell Katniss? This will upset her I know it" I look at my friend who stops us, she looks at me her blue eyes calm and sincere.  
"You tell her she saved your life, if she hadn't done a tourniquet you wouldn't be here now" she touches my chest, "we can't loose you Peeta, there aren't many good guys left in this world"  
And she still believes in me, I smirk, "is that so? I guess with Maverick gone I'm a dying breed."  
Her face hides something, even after two years I can still read her.  
"Ari?"  
"Well not as dying as you'd think...y'see Maverick...is alive" she blushes.  
"So there _is_ a boyfriend" I tease.  
"Maverick is _not_ my boyfriend, he's like an older brother so you'll be sharing thumping responsibilities with him" she defends with a blush that makes her look so sweet.  
"Who else knows you're alive?" I change subject, obviously she's getting embarrassed talking about herself.  
She leads us back up the course, "in the capital? Apart from you? four others" she says, " Haymitch, Tracker, Tracer and Sen"  
"I see him up in the observation deck, how did he get access?" I don't even remember seeing him at my training, mind I was more focused on throwing the weights around.  
"Who do you think made the first rule change Peeta?"  
"He's...his job was a game maker?" I don't know if I should be angry or happy.  
She sees my face is conflicted, "he wasn't happy either, but he had no choice, no one does in the Capitol"  
"Then why doesn't he leave?" I say thru gritted teeth, I had stumbled a bit and my leg seized.  
She looks sad, "he will, him and I talked, Snow isn't happy"  
"Boo hoo for Snow!" I say  
"Peeta!" she hisses as she leads me to sit down "haven't you been listening? Hellen is probably dead because of me refusing, Darwin can't see me ever, I had to fake my death to protect Sen, Tracker, Tracer, you and your family...when you leave? I am sure I won't see him again"  
She looks at the ground angry, "I think he feels guilty"  
"Of what?" I finally have power to say  
"Leaving me? Not protecting me? Working for a government bent on killing children" she looks up at her brother who looks down on the pair of us; I can see how Katniss feels for her little sister mirrored in this adult pair of siblings. Seneca with love in his eyes and the spark of hope in Ariana. "We will say our goodbyes, he has a meeting with Snow when you guys head home" she says  
I become protective of her, "it won't be safe for you when he's gone, come with us"  
She shakes her head, "if I did my cover would be blown I have to wait" she breaks her gaze with Seneca after he gives a small nod of encouragement "you will see me again thought Peeta" she helps me to stand, "this time I'm sure"  
"I better" I say kissing her temple, "I can't loose my big sister again"  
"How is Buck?" she asks, of course she'd ask about my family, heck half of my letters was always filling her in on what's been going on. Like she did with her district.  
"He's finishing school, wants to work the mine for a year before helping pop with the shop, pop doesn't want him too though"  
"And Ryen?"  
"Working at the bakery"  
She's quiet for a longer moment than I expected, "Ari"  
"This should never have happened to you" she said, "why did it have to happen to you?"  
"Ari you're not blaming yourself for this are you?" I look down at her with a small smirk, selfless in all things I bet she is blaming some part of me loosing a leg, getting reaped and almost dying on her even if it was beyond her control, "it was a mutt bite, and a sword wielded by a crazed eighteen year old that did this" I reassure her but it seems not to sink in.  
"But you're a good person Peeta" she looks angry, again at the games.  
"Look" I stop us, she has to stop blaming this on her, "it's not your fault or Katniss' for that matter, I'm grateful just to be alive!"  
"Nothing bad should happen to you again, you've paid your due" she says  
"Gee I hope so!" I chuckle we walk on in silence  
"It's good though, knowing you are out here alive" I finally say  
She gives my side a reassuring squeeze and stands on tiptoe to give me a peck on the cheek.

* * *

I try and mask my joy at being released from hospital; Ariana had given me explicit rules to follow. If I wanted to talk about things we spoke about in the Capitol I was to start with "a little bird told me..." and then say what I want to convey to whoever else knew she was alive  
I try it on Haymitch as we wait for Katniss, he's come to my side to make sure I am alright in his own blunt way. When I mention the little bird saying I have a few people to thank for even being here he looks at me and smirks, "that little jay is a smart one ain't it?"

"I would like to think so" I reply, my little sparrow is a clever one.

The interview washed me out, they call Ariana to our apartment and she gives me a quick check-up.  
"You just exhausted yourself" she says in her clinical voice, "make sure you eat something, try and keep it light like soup."  
Katniss walks in at that moment she looked worried when I looked tired and not going for something to eat. Ariana looks up and smiles, her eyes are calculating and Katniss stiffens when Ariana stands up from where she was sitting on the bed's edge.  
"Maybe your girlfriend can get something into you" she says going over to Katniss who eyes Ariana suspiciously, "you managed to keep him alive in the arena I am sure exhaustion should be a cake walk" she looks at me pointedly, "I'm going to have a chat with your mentor, try and eat something and rest."  
"Yes thank you doctor Sparrow" I reply, and I see her walk off almost as a march.


	48. Choices

**Author's Note #1:** my second author's note will be longer, for now thanks go to **Pandora, Wren, Arrow** (for godsakes Arrow sign up so I can answer your questions! XD) and **HL** my reviewers of last chapter.

Chapter 48

Choices

_Ari POV  
_

I head out of his room and make a beeline for Haymitch.

"We have to talk, my place one hour" I tell him and the stylists.

He gets there fifteen minutes late Cinna and Portia are already here

"What's this all about?" he asks

"They are both in a lot of trouble" I say

"No shit" Haymitch says, "think I'm dumb"

"No but you're not all that compassionate when it comes to capital relations" I point out, "keep up that 'lovers gone mad pretense' it's their only defense right now"

"Won't be a challenge" Portia says, "Peeta is mad for her"

"Yeah but it's not equal" I point out, "Katniss is still reluctant"

"I can take care of that" Haymitch says looking at Cinna who nods, "so why was Peeta sick?"

"Try living after two heart attacks and only two weeks of convalescence, he's still ill" I pace, "just...make sure he rests a lot, Portia try not to wake him until it's absolutely necessary"

The stylists nod, but Haymitch is unconvinced

"Just sleep? Nothin else" Haymitch says, "something else is bothering you what is it kiddo"

Kiddo, he hasn't called me that is five years, I look at the crotchety drunk, "I'm just protecting my family" I lie, Seneca had told me after Peeta's rehab he was going to be seeing President Snow during the final interview…that was our goodbye to each other.

Haymitch sees right thru my lie, "they call you a spy" he scoffs

I groan, "Seneca is probably dead by now" I slump to the ground Portia comes over and helps me to the couch, "no matter how hard I try I keep loosing people I love" I cover my face, "I should be called the crow not sparrow I bring death with me"

Haymitch sighs. "girl you have the worst conscience I have ever met!" he sits on my opposite side, "the people who died did so knowing full well what was going to happen going all the way back to Farrow" After almost six years my friend's name still makes me upset. "Life is all about choices, they chose a path they knew would be death for them but life for their loved ones" he adds.

Portia rubs my back soothingly as Haymitch explains, "and I know for a fact Seneca was far more upset about his job than he let on" he looks at me, "I think for him it was merciful if Snow had killed him, not that the president knew how much damage it was causing your brother."

I feel like crying but all I can actually feel is my heart which has been slowly healing for two years get crushed once again, not even Maverick knows how broken I am.

"The only thing we can do is live kid" he says, "that's what all your loved ones wanted for you is to live."

"Fine but if I live I want the same for all of you" I reply, "especially Peeta, Haymitch he didn't deserve any of this."

"Who ever does?" he says, "but I know he is dear to you"

"How is it you and him are so close?" Cinna asks, "he never mentioned you not to Portia or I"

I sniff and open a drawer to my coffee table, wrapped in velum is my copy of the notebook we shared, I toss it to Cinna then cover my face.

Cinna leafs thru it, "poor kid" I hear from him now and then, "you both have a talent for drawing though"

"Regular artists" Haymitch says

Portia goes to make tea while Haymitch sits with me

"What will you do now?" he asks, "with Seneca gone"

"He wasn't my mission, I have some things to work on here, minor things then I am gone from this place, I'm going on my own little tour in about two weeks" Portia returns with a tray and we drink extreamly strong tea.

"I have a gift for Peet" I point to a large box wrapped in brown paper, "make sure he opens it when he gets home"

"What about Katniss" Haymitch says teasingly

"She has her gift, she just doesn't know it" I reply

"You love Peeta don't you" Cinna asks

"Like I'm his older sister" I reply, "that's as far as it goes he's my family, what is left of it"

I say goodbye to them and head for the hospital.

Church is in her office, when I knock, she lowers her glasses and smiles.

"Welcome back Lexis" she seems relieved, but is startled when I place a sheet of paper on her desk.

My resignation.

"I don't understand" she says, "two years and you are quitting?"

"It's either quit or take a very very long sabbatical" I explain.

She gets up "walk with me" she says and we head for the courtyard.

I have never walked this area with her, and it leads to victor's hall, now vacant of everyone. She opens the door and we go inside.

The room is absolutely empty.

"I like coming here" she says, "I treated a fair few victors in my time, including Finnick O'dair"

"Y'don't say" I don't know why she brought me here until she is standing in front of my picture.

"All until she came along, you know she didn't board a hover plane to come out of the arena? when she passed out Abernathy brought her thru the shield and then by land transport to recovery" she shakes her head, "that kid kind of changed my whole perspective of the games, I do say the 'bleeding hearts' don't know what they are doing, if they had someone like her to lead them, to show them the way?" she shakes her head then looks at me, it dawns on me, she knows, she knows and hasn't breathed a word!

I make to say something despite the danger of being in this place when she raises her hand, "well in two weeks you will be gone kid, I will wish you luck now because I am sure you'll be swamped with paper work up until the end. Just…remember what I said"

"I will" I tell her

Two weeks and I have taken my motorcycle out of the downstairs garage. The information is sent. The pieces are falling into place. I say my goodbyes. As I leave this place of opulence, greed and naïveté there is only one thought going thru my head.

'President Snow the game is on.'

**Final Author's Notes:**

Well people, it seems something is lit under our heroine, she seems more driven, wouldn't you agree? Let's hope she gets thru it in one piece! For….

The stage is set.

The players are in final rehearsal.

Friends reunite, revenge will be served, and cupid's arrow will fly true.

The story might very well meet its end with the final act.

Stay tuned my readers for perhaps the final and extremely long end to the 69TH verse:

_**Phoenix Rising **__(due to start either Thursday evening (my time), or Friday morning (my time), for all my UK fans that would be very early Friday or late Friday… I think)_

Don't forget new readers I always read reviews so don't be shy!

**PS**: I am closing this story. I know I said I'd be keeping it open, if anyone wants to add something PM it to me, I might have something up my sleeve for later (if enough people have something) ;)

Cheers


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